Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
@justinmatic5000.bsky.social
Rated "pretty ok, I guess" by Robot Aficionado Magazine. Occasionally funny on purpose.
Posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaad2wolqd6v4
Posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaad2wolqd6v4
I calmly asked Gemini "how do you put out a grease fire?" and it told me that John Travolta's number was unlisted
November 16, 2025 at 6:56 AM
I calmly asked Gemini "how do you put out a grease fire?" and it told me that John Travolta's number was unlisted
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
The dad tax that each of my kids had to pay when they got their first car was driving it around with this license plate frame until they begged me to take it off
November 15, 2025 at 11:54 PM
The dad tax that each of my kids had to pay when they got their first car was driving it around with this license plate frame until they begged me to take it off
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
being able to fart on command is an underappreciated talent that all dads must possess
November 15, 2025 at 11:58 PM
being able to fart on command is an underappreciated talent that all dads must possess
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I can promise you I never have and never will want to zig a zig ah
November 16, 2025 at 12:49 AM
I can promise you I never have and never will want to zig a zig ah
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I hope my made up words don't make you.....discomfortable
November 15, 2025 at 11:58 PM
I hope my made up words don't make you.....discomfortable
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
pony: is this your card?
me: yes! cool trick!
pony: thanks
me: can you do any others?
pony: *sighs* no
me: yes! cool trick!
pony: thanks
me: can you do any others?
pony: *sighs* no
November 16, 2025 at 2:13 AM
pony: is this your card?
me: yes! cool trick!
pony: thanks
me: can you do any others?
pony: *sighs* no
me: yes! cool trick!
pony: thanks
me: can you do any others?
pony: *sighs* no
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
After a particularly stressful day I like to unwind by pouring myself a glass of wine and sliding into a nice hot tub of ranch dressing
November 16, 2025 at 2:45 AM
After a particularly stressful day I like to unwind by pouring myself a glass of wine and sliding into a nice hot tub of ranch dressing
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Lemur stole my lollipop
November 16, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Lemur stole my lollipop
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Fun prank: Release 3 pigs numbered 1, 2 and 4 into a supermarket. Then when everyone's busy looking for pig 3, release pigs 5 to 807
November 15, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Fun prank: Release 3 pigs numbered 1, 2 and 4 into a supermarket. Then when everyone's busy looking for pig 3, release pigs 5 to 807
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
The airline pilot at the next urinal didn't wash his hands after and now my life is in his filthy mitts
November 16, 2025 at 1:59 AM
The airline pilot at the next urinal didn't wash his hands after and now my life is in his filthy mitts
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Be careful with your Halloween candy this year everyone. I opened a Snickers bar earlier this morning and a husband fell out.
October 31, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Be careful with your Halloween candy this year everyone. I opened a Snickers bar earlier this morning and a husband fell out.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
LinkedIn’s a ripoff. How many times do I gotta click “Improve your profile” to get this rhinoplasty
November 13, 2025 at 8:30 PM
LinkedIn’s a ripoff. How many times do I gotta click “Improve your profile” to get this rhinoplasty
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
There is a mirror in room 402 that shows viewers their reflections 32 seconds into the future. It has saved and ended many lives. We cannot take it down. We have tried.
November 13, 2025 at 8:54 PM
There is a mirror in room 402 that shows viewers their reflections 32 seconds into the future. It has saved and ended many lives. We cannot take it down. We have tried.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
[giving you a tour of the office on your first day and stopping at the paper cutter] this is where we keep the sword
November 13, 2025 at 10:33 PM
[giving you a tour of the office on your first day and stopping at the paper cutter] this is where we keep the sword
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Told my wife I couldn't watch the new Frankenstein movie because I was Igoraphobic lol and she threw me out of a moving car.
November 11, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Told my wife I couldn't watch the new Frankenstein movie because I was Igoraphobic lol and she threw me out of a moving car.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
spelling out “kneel before zod” on a lite-brite
November 11, 2025 at 11:28 PM
spelling out “kneel before zod” on a lite-brite
I thought that I wanted a job, but it turns out that I just wanted money
November 11, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I thought that I wanted a job, but it turns out that I just wanted money
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
November 11, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
You must read the replies.
I can name every type of car
November 6, 2025 at 3:29 AM
You must read the replies.
One part of the economy is improving
November 7, 2025 at 2:21 AM
One part of the economy is improving
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I can name every type of car
November 5, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I can name every type of car
Trying my hardest not to
November 6, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Trying my hardest not to
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Last night I had the option to hand out candy or turn off all the lights and hoard.
I stand by my decision.
I stand by my decision.
November 1, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Last night I had the option to hand out candy or turn off all the lights and hoard.
I stand by my decision.
I stand by my decision.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Another tiny, entitled vampire tonight for Halloween. He didn't even bother with a compelling argument for the candy, just shook his bag at me like a tiny, silent landlord collecting rent.
October 31, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Another tiny, entitled vampire tonight for Halloween. He didn't even bother with a compelling argument for the candy, just shook his bag at me like a tiny, silent landlord collecting rent.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Lost another fight with my stove clock
November 2, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Lost another fight with my stove clock