Gian D’Oh
giandoh.bsky.social
Gian D’Oh
@giandoh.bsky.social
Pinned
This is the dumbest apocalypse.
I prefer “ Trump-lickin’ “
November 26, 2025 at 3:37 PM
In a new Thanksgiving tradition, President Trump today pardoned a group of turkeys that stormed the US Capitol.
November 25, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Listen I want to buy your stand-up comedy venues and your practical joke stores, but I’m not looking for any funny business.
November 25, 2025 at 7:43 PM
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Before my modeling career took off, I used to be a roadie for the Chuck E. Cheese band.
November 25, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I don’t buy the whole Bubba story because there’s no way in hell Trump is a generous lover who performs oral on his partners.
November 25, 2025 at 6:27 PM
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"Look at your dumb fat face in the mirror for a half hour." - haircuts
November 25, 2025 at 6:18 PM
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the grave robbers told me out of all the corpses I had the cheapest suit
November 23, 2025 at 5:39 AM
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A Rose by any other name is Betty White.
A rose by any other name would be in a different language.
November 25, 2025 at 3:28 PM
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I slow down for crows, stop for ravens, and back up for the inevitably of black-winged night
November 25, 2025 at 1:48 PM
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There is no political solution. It’s time we go bonobo.
November 22, 2025 at 2:41 PM
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If you bring your fancy peanut butter to the Home Depot paint dept they have to mix it for you
November 22, 2025 at 2:55 PM
A rose by any other name would be in a different language.
November 24, 2025 at 1:52 PM
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Worst thing about waking up from a night of drinking and finding all your possessions thrown out at the curb?

Remembering you live alone.
November 20, 2025 at 1:50 PM
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I know a guy who can get you a bootleg "My Kid Is An Honor Student" bumper sticker if your kid is dumb.
November 21, 2025 at 2:41 PM
“You’re coming with me,” said the security guard, as he and his lover experienced synchronized orgasms.
November 23, 2025 at 1:19 AM
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Kinda nervous about household smart devices. What if the bathroom scale tells the fridge to lock me out?
November 20, 2025 at 11:56 AM
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Why waste precious time washing your lettuce when you can simply add ammonia to your salad dressing?
November 21, 2025 at 7:36 AM
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The tooth pattern on the bucking saw in that Three Stooges episode taking place in medieval times was NOT period correct. Sorry to be so harsh – I needed to vent.
November 21, 2025 at 2:50 PM
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How dare you give me the tools to help myself.
November 21, 2025 at 6:35 PM
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Look, I’m gonna need those Burger King coupons back

-Me, breaking up
June 15, 2024 at 4:22 AM
Pretty cool that technology is just getting to the point where it can eliminate deadly human diseases just as it sucks all enjoyment out of human existence.
November 21, 2025 at 6:43 PM
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Shout out to the real heroes of the holiday season:

the folks who add "Skip To Recipe" buttons on their websites.
December 24, 2024 at 11:48 PM
God (watching humans): I’m beginning to regret taking that seventh day off.
November 21, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Pandas are just raccoons that couldn’t stop eating Chinese leftovers.
November 21, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Houston, we have a cliche
November 21, 2025 at 2:25 AM