Slouchy
@slouchy.bsky.social
Like most kangaroos I live a life of crime.
Pinned
Slouchy
@slouchy.bsky.social
· Aug 13
"I'm so proud of you, spending all your money on ice cream and vodka is really healthy", my therapist says.
"Thank you, that means a lot", I say as I put the sock puppet I replaced my old therapist with back in the drawer.
"Thank you, that means a lot", I say as I put the sock puppet I replaced my old therapist with back in the drawer.
Reposted by Slouchy
Every day a new subterranean creature of damp and darkness claws its shrieking way up from the absolute depths just to open a manhole to the outside world and say "nope," before beating a hasty retreat back down into the stinking old sewer lines it calls home.
December 10, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Every day a new subterranean creature of damp and darkness claws its shrieking way up from the absolute depths just to open a manhole to the outside world and say "nope," before beating a hasty retreat back down into the stinking old sewer lines it calls home.
Reposted by Slouchy
Them:
Let your freak flag fly!
Them ten seconds later:
OMG! PUT IT AWAY! PUT! YOUR! FREAK! FLAG!! AWAY!!! WE DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO...FREAKY! CITY MANAGEMENT AND THE PARKS DEPARTMENT ARE WHOLLY UNPREPARED FOR THIS LEVEL OF FREAK!
Let your freak flag fly!
Them ten seconds later:
OMG! PUT IT AWAY! PUT! YOUR! FREAK! FLAG!! AWAY!!! WE DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO...FREAKY! CITY MANAGEMENT AND THE PARKS DEPARTMENT ARE WHOLLY UNPREPARED FOR THIS LEVEL OF FREAK!
December 10, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Them:
Let your freak flag fly!
Them ten seconds later:
OMG! PUT IT AWAY! PUT! YOUR! FREAK! FLAG!! AWAY!!! WE DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO...FREAKY! CITY MANAGEMENT AND THE PARKS DEPARTMENT ARE WHOLLY UNPREPARED FOR THIS LEVEL OF FREAK!
Let your freak flag fly!
Them ten seconds later:
OMG! PUT IT AWAY! PUT! YOUR! FREAK! FLAG!! AWAY!!! WE DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO...FREAKY! CITY MANAGEMENT AND THE PARKS DEPARTMENT ARE WHOLLY UNPREPARED FOR THIS LEVEL OF FREAK!
Reposted by Slouchy
I bet if someone was to love me my whole entire butt would glow just like a firefly's does.
December 9, 2025 at 11:16 PM
I bet if someone was to love me my whole entire butt would glow just like a firefly's does.
Reposted by Slouchy
Clocks match a lot of things throughout a day, not just how you wave your arms for certain times. The day your tie was born, when your socks got married, the end of your drapes when you caught them up in another window. It's not coincidence.
December 9, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Clocks match a lot of things throughout a day, not just how you wave your arms for certain times. The day your tie was born, when your socks got married, the end of your drapes when you caught them up in another window. It's not coincidence.
Reposted by Slouchy
Hittin red lights used to piss me off. Then I started realizing well maybe The Power That Be reserved for us this time to rock the fuck out.
December 8, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Hittin red lights used to piss me off. Then I started realizing well maybe The Power That Be reserved for us this time to rock the fuck out.
Reposted by Slouchy
(at chain discount department store)
Can you help me? I dunno, there are new neighbors and they put up a gay snowman and I need a larger, even more gay snowman.
Can you help me? I dunno, there are new neighbors and they put up a gay snowman and I need a larger, even more gay snowman.
December 8, 2025 at 8:40 PM
(at chain discount department store)
Can you help me? I dunno, there are new neighbors and they put up a gay snowman and I need a larger, even more gay snowman.
Can you help me? I dunno, there are new neighbors and they put up a gay snowman and I need a larger, even more gay snowman.
Reposted by Slouchy
me, waking up from a 23 hour nap: let’s see an a.i. robot do THAT.
December 8, 2025 at 2:11 PM
me, waking up from a 23 hour nap: let’s see an a.i. robot do THAT.
Reposted by Slouchy
Them: this conversation is going to a dark place
Me: [nodding excitedly] the movie theater
Me: [nodding excitedly] the movie theater
December 7, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Them: this conversation is going to a dark place
Me: [nodding excitedly] the movie theater
Me: [nodding excitedly] the movie theater
Reposted by Slouchy
I wish i could AI slap them.
Blocking people that posts AI slop isn't enough, I wish I could reach through the screen and slap them
December 6, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I wish i could AI slap them.
Reposted by Slouchy
With 6 fingers
Blocking people that posts AI slop isn't enough, I wish I could reach through the screen and slap them
December 7, 2025 at 1:46 PM
With 6 fingers
Reposted by Slouchy
I keep a live squirrel in my back pocket to throw for when the convo slows down.
December 1, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I keep a live squirrel in my back pocket to throw for when the convo slows down.
Reposted by Slouchy
Me: Oh man, I love the eighties!
My grandparents: We have names
My grandparents: We have names
December 6, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Me: Oh man, I love the eighties!
My grandparents: We have names
My grandparents: We have names
Blocking people that posts AI slop isn't enough, I wish I could reach through the screen and slap them
December 6, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Blocking people that posts AI slop isn't enough, I wish I could reach through the screen and slap them
Reposted by Slouchy
I've reached my wit's end. All you'll find here is the bit of scotch tape and the empty cardboard core that signify the end of the roll.
December 3, 2025 at 8:51 PM
I've reached my wit's end. All you'll find here is the bit of scotch tape and the empty cardboard core that signify the end of the roll.
Reposted by Slouchy
maybe if we have a bake sale like on the Brady Bunch we can buy back the government
December 6, 2025 at 3:43 AM
maybe if we have a bake sale like on the Brady Bunch we can buy back the government
Reposted by Slouchy
You felt your favorite heartache this many times, and as a report generated by those heartache times, we will not be reminding you with the feelings you had. Here's you superimposed on a pin dropping
December 4, 2025 at 5:40 AM
You felt your favorite heartache this many times, and as a report generated by those heartache times, we will not be reminding you with the feelings you had. Here's you superimposed on a pin dropping
Reposted by Slouchy
"Who distracts the distractions" I wonder as I order x-ray specs from a comic book for another comic book while I also order x-ray specs from the second comic book for the first comic book. All in Latin.
December 4, 2025 at 5:23 PM
"Who distracts the distractions" I wonder as I order x-ray specs from a comic book for another comic book while I also order x-ray specs from the second comic book for the first comic book. All in Latin.
Reposted by Slouchy
Nobody at this naptime wants to listen to how afternoons are unbearable across all dimensions, even if it takes until evening. One person even covered their doldrums and went la la la la la
December 5, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Nobody at this naptime wants to listen to how afternoons are unbearable across all dimensions, even if it takes until evening. One person even covered their doldrums and went la la la la la
Reposted by Slouchy
The only problem with knowing The Absolute Truth about everything is everyone hates me and I am forced to live alone in my 05 Buick Century parked in a state forest
December 5, 2025 at 2:12 PM
The only problem with knowing The Absolute Truth about everything is everyone hates me and I am forced to live alone in my 05 Buick Century parked in a state forest
Reposted by Slouchy
Not sure how I feel about holiday beverages – I’m eggnostic HAHA I wanted to get this joke out one more time before we're all sent to work in the asbestos mines
December 5, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Not sure how I feel about holiday beverages – I’m eggnostic HAHA I wanted to get this joke out one more time before we're all sent to work in the asbestos mines
Reposted by Slouchy
making my friendship bracelets out of bones
November 28, 2025 at 9:21 PM
making my friendship bracelets out of bones
Reposted by Slouchy
The important philosophical questions of any holiday are: did Hallmark just always exist, did it originate in outer space, if you believe in it but don't send cards can you still get into envelope
November 27, 2025 at 5:05 PM
The important philosophical questions of any holiday are: did Hallmark just always exist, did it originate in outer space, if you believe in it but don't send cards can you still get into envelope
Reposted by Slouchy
What a great headline
November 28, 2025 at 3:49 PM
What a great headline
Reposted by Slouchy
I almost got up after only four hours of sleep. Then I heard the voice of my dead father tell me to get back in that bed and finish what I started because he didn't raise a quitter.
November 28, 2025 at 3:15 PM
I almost got up after only four hours of sleep. Then I heard the voice of my dead father tell me to get back in that bed and finish what I started because he didn't raise a quitter.
Reposted by Slouchy
Not a manic pixie dream girl, but a lethargic troll nightmare woman.
November 27, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Not a manic pixie dream girl, but a lethargic troll nightmare woman.