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Slouchy

@slouchy.bsky.social

3.5K followers 450 following 93 posts

Like most kangaroos I live a life of crime.

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Slouchy @slouchy.bsky.social · Nov 23

You wake up one day and all the world has turned to Greg. You're surprised, you did not see this coming. In the kitchen your boyfriend Greg greets you with a cup of greg. Greg, he says with a smile. Greg, you answer, and it just feels right, the gregness of it all.

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 14h

Murder clown masks lay abandoned in the street. Who will kill us with laughter now?

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 19h

If you're finished with that personality, can I try it out for a while?

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 13h

When no one was looking I snuck a bottle of roll-on salad dressing—a completely made-up product—into the town’s time capsule.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 21h

ME: Gesundheit.

THEM: But I didn't sneeze.

ME: {mysteriously} Not yet...

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madsisnowhere.bsky.social @madsisnowhere.bsky.social · 21h

like pharaohs on a pedestal…when someone dies, gets blocked or deletes their account. do all their alts and offshoot minions get buried with them?

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Kristina @literatedesign.bsky.social · 1d

Today is the Ada Lovelace day

Go read Sydney Padua's Lovelace origin comic!

sydneypadua.com/2dgoggles/lo...

Black-and-white comic.

In the first panel, a text box reads: “Ada was the daughter of ‘mad, bad, and dangerous to know’ poet and nutcase Lord Byron.” The image shows Lord Byron dramatically wielding a quill while two distressed women cling to him.

The next panel shows Ada’s mother, Anabel, holding baby Ada with a worried expression. The text says: “Her mother Anabel fled the exploding planet her husband but was afraid their daughter would inherit his WILD BLOOD!!”

In the third panel, Anabel appears stern, saying, “ADA MUST NEVER BECOME POETICAL! Only ONE THING has the power to subdue poetry…”

In the final panel, young Ada sits wide-eyed, reading a large book titled “ADVANCED CALCULUS,” while the text concludes: “…MATHEMATICS!!”

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Veruca's Alt @verucas-alt.bsky.social · 2d

Not only do I want to be ungovernable, I want to be unalgorithmable.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 2d

Every morning "So what do you want out of today" just to feel okay sometimes, for having my eyes open "When do we want it? Now" no this isn't one of those "Great because now is only when you blink" it's a waking dream is it "Yep" okay cool

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 3d

i had to give up microwave burritos the sexual tension was overwhelming

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 4d

We've profiled you based on your actual profile and it reads disconnectedly as an erotic thriller of the highest intelligence, I might add hilarious. If you ever commit a crime I'll be the first to put red herring in bio, let's alt away together

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · Mar 5

I think about manhole covers sometimes, how they humbly go about their business covering holes that a man might go into

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 4d

I made so much fun of my talking car telling me a door is a jar that it stopped talking to me for weeks.

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Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · 10d

Me: *thinking to myself after someone wrongs me* You made an inconsequential and powerless enemy today my friend

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orcus @goblin.news · 2d

bro come over we’re examining a wider regime of the self rn

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 4d

In 1980, my mom invented the double bow for shoe tying and revolutionized babysitting.

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BAJA BLAST BLAINE @shrekromancer.gay · 3d

therapist: so, tell me a bit about what brings you here

me:

heading on the Wikipedia page about the Plagues of Egypt, titled "list of the disasters"

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Wendigo Wires 👻 @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 4d

Australians make the best horror because they live on the earth’s most terrifying continent.

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Wilde Thingy @wildethingy.bsky.social · 4d

This brave new world is getting old.

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 5d

Convince your neighbors you own a pet owl by yelling "has anyone seen my pet owl" through their letterbox at 4am

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 5d

Everything is terrible
Everything is taint
Let's form a utopian society
Around all of us eating paint

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 6d

If you want to search a vengeful ghost you need a warrant signed by a grudge but seriously, all the business you have collected so far isn't unfinished enough to be admissable

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 7d

Imaginary conversations will actually unprepare you for nobody else being there

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 7d

my dream self made a context appropriate reference to “waiting for godot” while conversing with another dream character and the first thing i said when i awoke was “fucken nerd”

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 8d

I get glitched in the matrix all the time but I don't ask for manager shit cause I'm no Kareanu

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 8d

babydoll i recognize
you’re a hideous thing inside

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