Scott_Towel
@scotttowel.bsky.social
Some content may have been re-purposed from the dead bird place 🐦 I don't follow back accounts that don't repost others or only post about one subject. Sorry
"I fake it so real I am beyond fake"
"I fake it so real I am beyond fake"
Reposted by Scott_Towel
“Ah, just one more thing, sir. You’re blowing up those boats, saying they’re filled with drugs headed for the US. But then you go and pardon the guy who brought in 400 tons of cocaine. That’s billions of doses. Help me understand that.”
November 30, 2025 at 3:25 AM
“Ah, just one more thing, sir. You’re blowing up those boats, saying they’re filled with drugs headed for the US. But then you go and pardon the guy who brought in 400 tons of cocaine. That’s billions of doses. Help me understand that.”
Reposted by Scott_Towel
my daughter wanted me to order her this sweater bc she thinks it looks like doris. umm no, this is a dog that’s seen terrible, terrible things
November 30, 2025 at 12:37 AM
my daughter wanted me to order her this sweater bc she thinks it looks like doris. umm no, this is a dog that’s seen terrible, terrible things
Reposted by Scott_Towel
Caught between a goat and New York City.
November 30, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Caught between a goat and New York City.
Reposted by Scott_Towel
Why can't the NFL have someone like that nice Perry Como perform at halftime?
November 27, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Why can't the NFL have someone like that nice Perry Como perform at halftime?
She drove a little red Corvette and when it was warm she didn't drive much more.
November 27, 2025 at 3:14 PM
She drove a little red Corvette and when it was warm she didn't drive much more.
Reposted by Scott_Towel
If I was an elected official, I would simply not do crime
November 26, 2025 at 1:15 AM
If I was an elected official, I would simply not do crime
I'm skipping my friend's gambling intervention because I don't think the odds are in his favor.
November 25, 2025 at 6:52 AM
I'm skipping my friend's gambling intervention because I don't think the odds are in his favor.
Reposted by Scott_Towel
So how long have you been in therapy <flirting>
November 25, 2025 at 4:36 AM
So how long have you been in therapy <flirting>
My fingers are sticky, the pudding is ruined and I still have no proof! - Me, on my first case as a detective
November 25, 2025 at 6:31 AM
My fingers are sticky, the pudding is ruined and I still have no proof! - Me, on my first case as a detective
Grow the fuck up, Charlie Brown
November 25, 2025 at 4:54 AM
Grow the fuck up, Charlie Brown
Reposted by Scott_Towel
Reposted by Scott_Towel
I have nightmares that I'm going to live way longer than I can afford to.
November 25, 2025 at 2:54 AM
I have nightmares that I'm going to live way longer than I can afford to.
Reposted by Scott_Towel
the downside of 140 characters was more acronyms and who doesn’t hate acronyms htgihts
November 25, 2025 at 4:13 AM
the downside of 140 characters was more acronyms and who doesn’t hate acronyms htgihts
"I love you twisted and I love you straight
I'd write it down but I can't concentrate"
I'd write it down but I can't concentrate"
November 25, 2025 at 4:43 AM
"I love you twisted and I love you straight
I'd write it down but I can't concentrate"
I'd write it down but I can't concentrate"
Can someone please turn on the Bat signal already?
November 23, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Can someone please turn on the Bat signal already?
Reposted by Scott_Towel
Live long and prosper. Yes, I'm talking to you.
August 30, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Live long and prosper. Yes, I'm talking to you.
Reposted by Scott_Towel
he never looks at JD that way
November 21, 2025 at 9:38 PM
he never looks at JD that way
Reposted by Scott_Towel
The best way to avoid unnecessary arguments with your spouse is by not having one in the first place.
Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.
Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.
November 22, 2025 at 3:09 PM
The best way to avoid unnecessary arguments with your spouse is by not having one in the first place.
Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.
Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.
Reposted by Scott_Towel
My brand-new smartwatch asked me if I wanted to "pause my workout."
I was just walking to the fridge.
I was just walking to the fridge.
November 22, 2025 at 12:45 PM
My brand-new smartwatch asked me if I wanted to "pause my workout."
I was just walking to the fridge.
I was just walking to the fridge.
Reposted by Scott_Towel
Some of you think you still have time; I thought the same when I was your age.
November 22, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Some of you think you still have time; I thought the same when I was your age.
Reposted by Scott_Towel
The lower the temperature, the longer it takes the dog to poop.
It’s science.
It’s science.
November 22, 2025 at 1:26 PM
The lower the temperature, the longer it takes the dog to poop.
It’s science.
It’s science.
Reposted by Scott_Towel
Ah, I'm awake again. Time to open the psychological harm app
November 22, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Ah, I'm awake again. Time to open the psychological harm app