Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
@plankysmith.bsky.social
I'm a plucky lump of plankton and my name is Planky Smith!
Origin of my display name: https://youtu.be/qv6OOuPI5c0
Origin of my display name: https://youtu.be/qv6OOuPI5c0
Pinned
Posting has ruined my life
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
[the door flies open and Dershowitz stomps into the apartment]
"It happened again, Andrew!"
[Cuomo]: "What happened?"
"I was refused a pierogi!"
"They wouldn't give you a pierogi?"
"NO PIEROGI, ANDREW!"
"Awww! Not even a nibble???"
"NO NIBBLE, ANDREW! NOTHING! NADA! BUPKIS!!!"
"It happened again, Andrew!"
[Cuomo]: "What happened?"
"I was refused a pierogi!"
"They wouldn't give you a pierogi?"
"NO PIEROGI, ANDREW!"
"Awww! Not even a nibble???"
"NO NIBBLE, ANDREW! NOTHING! NADA! BUPKIS!!!"
November 9, 2025 at 6:26 PM
[the door flies open and Dershowitz stomps into the apartment]
"It happened again, Andrew!"
[Cuomo]: "What happened?"
"I was refused a pierogi!"
"They wouldn't give you a pierogi?"
"NO PIEROGI, ANDREW!"
"Awww! Not even a nibble???"
"NO NIBBLE, ANDREW! NOTHING! NADA! BUPKIS!!!"
"It happened again, Andrew!"
[Cuomo]: "What happened?"
"I was refused a pierogi!"
"They wouldn't give you a pierogi?"
"NO PIEROGI, ANDREW!"
"Awww! Not even a nibble???"
"NO NIBBLE, ANDREW! NOTHING! NADA! BUPKIS!!!"
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
mother in law is complaining that I am cruel because I don’t want her money or gifts after finding out she supported trump and like, idk man, I think it’s way more fucking cruel to vote for fascism, bigotry, political violence against marginalized people, etc etc
December 12, 2025 at 8:12 PM
mother in law is complaining that I am cruel because I don’t want her money or gifts after finding out she supported trump and like, idk man, I think it’s way more fucking cruel to vote for fascism, bigotry, political violence against marginalized people, etc etc
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
(huffing turpentine) erm, jefferson had to rape his slaves to survive
December 12, 2025 at 8:22 PM
(huffing turpentine) erm, jefferson had to rape his slaves to survive
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
that man is fucking drunk as shit
is Rep. Michael Rulli okay? he looked and sounded like a complete maniac during this Newsmax interview
December 12, 2025 at 8:32 PM
that man is fucking drunk as shit
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
At the risk of being an out of touch upper middle class dude:
DUIs *should* make it more expensive for you to drive! Possibly prohibitively!
DUIs *should* make it more expensive for you to drive! Possibly prohibitively!
The California ACLU is staunchly opposed to the ignition interlock device program and is a big reason that it has not been expanded. Despite the fact that California heavily subsidizes the cost for low-income drunk drivers, the ACLU says that the program is a form of "racialized wealth extraction."
December 12, 2025 at 8:34 PM
At the risk of being an out of touch upper middle class dude:
DUIs *should* make it more expensive for you to drive! Possibly prohibitively!
DUIs *should* make it more expensive for you to drive! Possibly prohibitively!
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
oh my god let it go YOU FUCKING LOSER
Breaking news: The Justice Department filed a lawsuit against Fulton County, Georgia, over records related to the 2020 election, escalating the Trump administration’s efforts to boost the president’s false claims that his loss to Joe Biden was rigged.
DOJ sues Georgia county as Trump pushes debunked 2020 election fraud claims
President Donald Trump has increasingly pressured his administration to find widespread voter fraud in the 2020 election, despite those claims having been debunked and dismissed in dozens of cases by ...
www.washingtonpost.com
December 12, 2025 at 8:34 PM
oh my god let it go YOU FUCKING LOSER
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
if Trump reschedules pot and all of America becomes California Circa 2013 in terms of medical weed i will call this the greatest own goal in the history of Democratic Politics
🍃 SCOOP 🍃
President Trump is preparing to order his administration to dramatically loosen restrictions on MARIJUANA.
The order would reclassify cannabis from Schedule I — the same level as heroin — to Schedule III — the same level as Tylenol and codeine and some steroids.
President Trump is preparing to order his administration to dramatically loosen restrictions on MARIJUANA.
The order would reclassify cannabis from Schedule I — the same level as heroin — to Schedule III — the same level as Tylenol and codeine and some steroids.
Trump seeks to cut restrictions on marijuana through planned order
The president is expected to attempt to classify marijuana similar to some common prescription painkillers and other drugs.
www.washingtonpost.com
December 12, 2025 at 8:35 PM
if Trump reschedules pot and all of America becomes California Circa 2013 in terms of medical weed i will call this the greatest own goal in the history of Democratic Politics
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
the people of this great republic yearn for locomotive transport
Amtrak reports Mardi Gras service among most successful ever https://mynbc15.com/news/local/amtrak-provides-boost-to-mobile-businesses
Amtrak's Mardi Gras service boosts Mobile tourism with higher than expected ridership
Amtrak says the new Mardi Gras service that connects Mobile to New Orleans is one of the most successful services ever launched and it's on track to double the
mynbc15.com
December 12, 2025 at 8:44 PM
the people of this great republic yearn for locomotive transport
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
I think it was a huge mistake to make our society so car-dependent. But man. The Discourse today is a good reminder that when it comes to roadways policy, otherwise progressive anti-car people quickly become some of the most pro-carceral, anti-civil liberties people on the planet.
December 12, 2025 at 8:45 PM
I think it was a huge mistake to make our society so car-dependent. But man. The Discourse today is a good reminder that when it comes to roadways policy, otherwise progressive anti-car people quickly become some of the most pro-carceral, anti-civil liberties people on the planet.
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
When you start Dark Souls
December 12, 2025 at 9:01 PM
When you start Dark Souls
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
I honestly think that many people don't know what their public libraries offer besides books. I think that everyone should go on a public library treasure hunt in 2026. Go explore what your library systems offer at no cost to you. Report back to me :)
“I miss blockbuster video” the library has every dvd totally untouched and I never see you there
December 12, 2025 at 9:02 PM
I honestly think that many people don't know what their public libraries offer besides books. I think that everyone should go on a public library treasure hunt in 2026. Go explore what your library systems offer at no cost to you. Report back to me :)
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
this is all very true, as is the fact that Lowtax was roughly 100x more responsible and concerned with the impact of his platform on society and the world than any social media CEO
Genuinely not unreasonable to say that Lowtax sucked so bad he fucked up the entire planet, and that most of the problems with the internet can be laid at the door of Something Awful
December 12, 2025 at 9:04 PM
this is all very true, as is the fact that Lowtax was roughly 100x more responsible and concerned with the impact of his platform on society and the world than any social media CEO
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
It is hard to overstate how shallow and embarrassing the Washington Post Editorial Board's analysis is whenver it tries to write about the law. They don't make arguments so much as they crank out half-assed jumbles of buzzwords that they hope will make Jeff Bezos happy. Don't care for it at all!
The Washington Post Editorial Board Is Spectacularly Awful at Legal Analysis
Since Bezos overhauled the board earlier this year, it has been very good at cranking out billionaire-friendly propaganda. It is quite bad at everything else.
ballsandstrikes.org
December 12, 2025 at 9:05 PM
It is hard to overstate how shallow and embarrassing the Washington Post Editorial Board's analysis is whenver it tries to write about the law. They don't make arguments so much as they crank out half-assed jumbles of buzzwords that they hope will make Jeff Bezos happy. Don't care for it at all!
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
Finally, bipartisanship will allow us to handle a censorship weapon to the Trump white house. Very smart you fucking idiots.
Sen. WHITEHOUSE: We finally are moving to file a bipartisan Section 230 repeal bill. Waiting any longer serves no useful purpose.
December 12, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Finally, bipartisanship will allow us to handle a censorship weapon to the Trump white house. Very smart you fucking idiots.
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
i'll say this, though, i think habitual speeding and reckless driving offenses should be treated with the same kind of seriousness that DUI/DWAI offenses are, because, as a pedestrian, i'm far more likely to be hit by someone not paying attention or speeding while stone sober than someone drunk
re: today's discourse, as a person with actual personal experience here, i think the penalties for first-offense DUI/DWAI (it's almost always the latter) are probably about where they need to be, and repeat offenses should probably be punished somewhat more harshly than they are
December 12, 2025 at 9:14 PM
i'll say this, though, i think habitual speeding and reckless driving offenses should be treated with the same kind of seriousness that DUI/DWAI offenses are, because, as a pedestrian, i'm far more likely to be hit by someone not paying attention or speeding while stone sober than someone drunk
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
Well, there's a photo I never expected to see in my life. Noam Chomsky palling around with Steve Bannon.
December 12, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Well, there's a photo I never expected to see in my life. Noam Chomsky palling around with Steve Bannon.
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
look, the answer to Did It Happen is always no, it did not
but maybe! it's always fun to dream
but maybe! it's always fun to dream
Trump is now running an astounding (even for him) 90 minutes late for his scheduled 3pm bill signing event
December 12, 2025 at 9:35 PM
look, the answer to Did It Happen is always no, it did not
but maybe! it's always fun to dream
but maybe! it's always fun to dream
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
i laughed out loud
Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz
December 12, 2025 at 9:43 PM
i laughed out loud
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
man who do you think is richer on average, the guy who's driving the car or the guy who's crossing the street in a pedestrian hostile neighborhood
“Homicide victims are disproportionately black” is pretty much the faux right-wing argument for more aggressive policing in black neighborhoods, no?
We’re a car dependent society. Punitive measures (as opposed to calming/engineering) are always going to disproportionately hit low-income people.
We’re a car dependent society. Punitive measures (as opposed to calming/engineering) are always going to disproportionately hit low-income people.
See also: debates about speed cameras.
There's a problematic reflex among some progressive reformers to move from "conventional criminal legal responses are bad" to something too close to "accountability in general is bad."
I think (as Jamelle argues here) it's rooted in not thinking abt victims.
There's a problematic reflex among some progressive reformers to move from "conventional criminal legal responses are bad" to something too close to "accountability in general is bad."
I think (as Jamelle argues here) it's rooted in not thinking abt victims.
December 12, 2025 at 9:45 PM
man who do you think is richer on average, the guy who's driving the car or the guy who's crossing the street in a pedestrian hostile neighborhood
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
my everyday speech is still sprinkled with lines from chappelle’s show, tbh
the 6-7 phenomenon is in no way different from any other catchphrase that kids have yelled out at any point in the last hundred years, there's no daylight between that and when i was in high school, the year straight where every guy kept yelling "i'm rick james bitch"
December 12, 2025 at 9:56 PM
my everyday speech is still sprinkled with lines from chappelle’s show, tbh
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
THIS LETS ME BRING OUT THIS POST AGAIN
December 12, 2025 at 10:00 PM
THIS LETS ME BRING OUT THIS POST AGAIN
Reposted by Two Sets of Testicles, So Divine
Applying the Billy Graham rule *to your mother* is the craziest shit I’ve heard in a minute
THIS LETS ME BRING OUT THIS POST AGAIN
December 12, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Applying the Billy Graham rule *to your mother* is the craziest shit I’ve heard in a minute