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Wilbur72

@wilboo72.bsky.social

10K followers 1.2K following 12K posts

Joker, drinker, bad golfer. Jersey boy living in NC. If you don’t ’like’ my post, I won’t like your reply.

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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · Oct 11

Just told a joke on a Zoom meeting and nobody laughed.

Apparently I’m not remotely funny.

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Pot Shop Boo @potshopboy.bsky.social · 1h

Farting! In the shower

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 4h

I will not hesitate to wash my whole car with the gas station squeegee.

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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 5h

That was definitely my primary concern.

Advertisement for electric razor has the headline “No Cuts On Your Balls”

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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 8h

I wonder how old the world’s first nuclear suicide bomber is today.

Also, super excited about the omelette bar at this hotel breakfast event.

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Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 7h

Let me know who the fuck else needs a block.

No more of this bullshit.

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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 22h

If her penchant for experimenting in the bedroom and the kitchen are comparable, you'd be wise to hold on to that one.

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Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 7h

You: Insert a political comment into my skeet as a reply.

Me: Hide this shit from EVERYONE.

Lesson: the only political funny I want to see is when it dies.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 7h

Dysfunctional families.... the gift that keeps on giving.

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Pot Shop Boo @potshopboy.bsky.social · 12h

I found a dino-shaped nuggie in my bag of regular chicken nuggies, and I feel like life isn't going to get any better than this.

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bloody bacon popsicle ✋ @gupton68.bsky.social · 7h

I solve most of my problems by just ignoring them as I know that eventually they'll get bored and go ask their mum instead.

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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 17h

Lifting a fork to my face is somehow neither a fork-lift nor a face-lift, I muse solemnly on my 900th bite of the day.

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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 18h

Tonight’s dessert is whatever I floss out from between my teeth.

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Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 18h

Sounds like a creamy good time.

Poster that reads:
Ben and Jerry's
BJs in your PJs
Come socialize and eat ice
cream in your pajamas

Below appears to be books or videos

27 November 2018 8:30 PM
28 Lounge

I hope someone brings wet naps.

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LovelyDeep @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 19h

a meeting without food should be an email

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VampireWonders @vwonders.bsky.social · 20h

Today’s band name:
The Irredeemable DOJ

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 22h

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am the stabbiest.

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 2d

If a man is not willing to burn down an entire world for me, I don’t want it.

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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t make my bed in the morning because that seems like giving up on using it again before bedtime. I always want it ready for a 5-10 minute nap.

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🕷️🕸️emcEEKayvee🕸️🕷️ @emceekayvee.bsky.social · 2d

but have you tried face-sitting about it?

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Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 1d

Corn dog holders from Temu. $20. If you're going to plug your butthole, you might as well get a corn dog as a snack.

For your partner. Because you care.

Suspicious silver corn dog holders that have a second purpose.

So you don't burn your hands.

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bloody bacon popsicle ✋ @gupton68.bsky.social · 1d

Someone at the supermarket asked if I knew where the cheese aisle was and it was just pure instinct to give them wrong directions so there was more cheese left for me.

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Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 1d

Don't be dissing Taylor Swift.

I've blocked a mother fucker for saying "chocolate milk sucks".

Fucking haters.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 1d

I'm not scared I'll end up in an asylum after a breakdown. I'm scared someone will record it on their phone and I'll end up on a GIF.

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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 1d

🔥