Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
A bindle full of blues
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
· Nov 22
Day blinth of counting using my own number system
Your mom defended breast feeding you until you were twelve by saying she was into Paleo before it was a thing
November 16, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Your mom defended breast feeding you until you were twelve by saying she was into Paleo before it was a thing
Do you put in your dentures before you have sex or during?
November 16, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Do you put in your dentures before you have sex or during?
As we get stupider, socks won’t just be marked R and L but also FOOT
November 16, 2025 at 2:00 PM
As we get stupider, socks won’t just be marked R and L but also FOOT
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
*sexting* Hah! Gross
November 14, 2025 at 2:10 AM
*sexting* Hah! Gross
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
I remember the first time I learned there were horny milfs in my area I screamed
November 12, 2025 at 6:06 PM
I remember the first time I learned there were horny milfs in my area I screamed
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
A jury of my peers? 12 emotionally available sweethearts?!
November 10, 2025 at 12:56 PM
A jury of my peers? 12 emotionally available sweethearts?!
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
one day i hope to have a wing of a bakery named after me
November 14, 2025 at 10:37 PM
one day i hope to have a wing of a bakery named after me
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
I can tell you care by the thoroughness of this restraining order.
November 13, 2025 at 6:35 PM
I can tell you care by the thoroughness of this restraining order.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
He said I was arrogant, so I set about him with my sceptre.
November 12, 2025 at 6:28 PM
He said I was arrogant, so I set about him with my sceptre.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
“This tofu recipe helped me lose 30 pounds.” Yeah, because it was so disgusting you threw it out and starved instead.
November 13, 2025 at 2:18 AM
“This tofu recipe helped me lose 30 pounds.” Yeah, because it was so disgusting you threw it out and starved instead.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Conquer the world? Buddy, I’m lucky if I can get out of bed two days in a row.
November 14, 2025 at 10:59 AM
Conquer the world? Buddy, I’m lucky if I can get out of bed two days in a row.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
my DHS LAW ENFORCEMENT DOES NOT PEPPER SPRAY CHILDREN t-shirt is raising a lot of questions i would have thought were answered by the shirt
November 12, 2025 at 4:09 AM
my DHS LAW ENFORCEMENT DOES NOT PEPPER SPRAY CHILDREN t-shirt is raising a lot of questions i would have thought were answered by the shirt
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
finishing school is a lot less sloppy than it sounds
November 10, 2025 at 10:00 PM
finishing school is a lot less sloppy than it sounds
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
I like pretty things and scrolling accounts with the biggest shitshow.
November 12, 2025 at 10:13 PM
I like pretty things and scrolling accounts with the biggest shitshow.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
All this flossing is going to drive me to bankruptcy.
November 9, 2025 at 5:03 PM
All this flossing is going to drive me to bankruptcy.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
While trying to fall asleep, I thought about how crazy it is to just fall asleep. Wide awake now.
November 14, 2025 at 4:25 AM
While trying to fall asleep, I thought about how crazy it is to just fall asleep. Wide awake now.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
One of my dogs steals socks from the laundry and brings them to my other dog, who then eats them
November 15, 2025 at 3:25 AM
One of my dogs steals socks from the laundry and brings them to my other dog, who then eats them
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
I miss when wars were fought wearing coordinated outfits and were settled using choreographed dance routines
November 12, 2025 at 12:19 AM
I miss when wars were fought wearing coordinated outfits and were settled using choreographed dance routines
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
If the dishwasher needs 4 hours to complete its cleaning cycle I expect to put in broken plates and coffee mugs and have them come out fixed.
November 8, 2025 at 8:56 PM
If the dishwasher needs 4 hours to complete its cleaning cycle I expect to put in broken plates and coffee mugs and have them come out fixed.
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Touch grass you said
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
November 7, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Touch grass you said
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
Why would anyone want to be normal? Look where normal has gotten us
November 15, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Why would anyone want to be normal? Look where normal has gotten us
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
You gasped in horror when you saw a light in the mausoleum through the long curtains of an open window on a stormy night. I made anxious Curly sounds
November 15, 2025 at 3:14 PM
You gasped in horror when you saw a light in the mausoleum through the long curtains of an open window on a stormy night. I made anxious Curly sounds
When I’m buying Twinkies and Yodels it feels like I’m 16 again buying a dirty magazine
November 14, 2025 at 9:05 PM
When I’m buying Twinkies and Yodels it feels like I’m 16 again buying a dirty magazine
I know how you feel, Young Chicken, my giblets too are of irregular proportions
November 13, 2025 at 1:20 PM
I know how you feel, Young Chicken, my giblets too are of irregular proportions
Reposted by Splendid Hobo
What if we made out in the LEGO store.
November 11, 2025 at 4:29 AM
What if we made out in the LEGO store.