Splendid Hobo
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splendidhobo.bsky.social
Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
Pinned
Day blinth of counting using my own number system
Your mom defended breast feeding you until you were twelve by saying she was into Paleo before it was a thing
November 16, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Do you put in your dentures before you have sex or during?
November 16, 2025 at 2:06 PM
As we get stupider, socks won’t just be marked R and L but also FOOT
November 16, 2025 at 2:00 PM
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*sexting* Hah! Gross
November 14, 2025 at 2:10 AM
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I remember the first time I learned there were horny milfs in my area I screamed
November 12, 2025 at 6:06 PM
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A jury of my peers? 12 emotionally available sweethearts?!
November 10, 2025 at 12:56 PM
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one day i hope to have a wing of a bakery named after me
November 14, 2025 at 10:37 PM
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I can tell you care by the thoroughness of this restraining order.
November 13, 2025 at 6:35 PM
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He said I was arrogant, so I set about him with my sceptre.
November 12, 2025 at 6:28 PM
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“This tofu recipe helped me lose 30 pounds.” Yeah, because it was so disgusting you threw it out and starved instead.
November 13, 2025 at 2:18 AM
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Conquer the world? Buddy, I’m lucky if I can get out of bed two days in a row.
November 14, 2025 at 10:59 AM
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my DHS LAW ENFORCEMENT DOES NOT PEPPER SPRAY CHILDREN t-shirt is raising a lot of questions i would have thought were answered by the shirt
November 12, 2025 at 4:09 AM
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finishing school is a lot less sloppy than it sounds
November 10, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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I like pretty things and scrolling accounts with the biggest shitshow.
November 12, 2025 at 10:13 PM
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All this flossing is going to drive me to bankruptcy.
November 9, 2025 at 5:03 PM
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While trying to fall asleep, I thought about how crazy it is to just fall asleep. Wide awake now.
November 14, 2025 at 4:25 AM
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One of my dogs steals socks from the laundry and brings them to my other dog, who then eats them
November 15, 2025 at 3:25 AM
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I miss when wars were fought wearing coordinated outfits and were settled using choreographed dance routines
November 12, 2025 at 12:19 AM
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If the dishwasher needs 4 hours to complete its cleaning cycle I expect to put in broken plates and coffee mugs and have them come out fixed.
November 8, 2025 at 8:56 PM
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Touch grass you said

It will be fun you said

Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen

(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
November 7, 2025 at 5:16 PM
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Why would anyone want to be normal? Look where normal has gotten us
November 15, 2025 at 1:14 AM
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You gasped in horror when you saw a light in the mausoleum through the long curtains of an open window on a stormy night. I made anxious Curly sounds
November 15, 2025 at 3:14 PM
When I’m buying Twinkies and Yodels it feels like I’m 16 again buying a dirty magazine
November 14, 2025 at 9:05 PM
I know how you feel, Young Chicken, my giblets too are of irregular proportions
November 13, 2025 at 1:20 PM
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What if we made out in the LEGO store.
November 11, 2025 at 4:29 AM