[Sic] Burns
@sicburns2.bsky.social
Either drunken Scottish poet or bored American Midwesterner, U-pick.
Do these skeets make my brain look fat?
Do these skeets make my brain look fat?
Pinned
[Sic] Burns
@sicburns2.bsky.social
· Feb 19
I’m typing stuff in here but nothing’s changing out there.
I better pick up the pace
I better pick up the pace
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
“It’s a dog door, a DOG door. Now, one more time, what are you?”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
November 10, 2025 at 5:15 PM
“It’s a dog door, a DOG door. Now, one more time, what are you?”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
Welcome new followers! My assistant director will pair you up and hand out the audition scripts — you’ll be reading the Fast Times scene where Damone gives Ratner dating advice. No accents please.
November 10, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Welcome new followers! My assistant director will pair you up and hand out the audition scripts — you’ll be reading the Fast Times scene where Damone gives Ratner dating advice. No accents please.
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Putting "in loving memory of times gone by" on all rear windows that face vintage racecar crash stock footage
November 10, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Putting "in loving memory of times gone by" on all rear windows that face vintage racecar crash stock footage
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
*getting hit in the face with a shovel
My god, I love you.
My god, I love you.
November 10, 2025 at 2:26 PM
*getting hit in the face with a shovel
My god, I love you.
My god, I love you.
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Why,
You grave but reckless senators
You grave but reckless senators
November 10, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Why,
You grave but reckless senators
You grave but reckless senators
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
them: go BIG or go home
me: [walking into my house] way ahead of you
me: [walking into my house] way ahead of you
November 10, 2025 at 2:54 PM
them: go BIG or go home
me: [walking into my house] way ahead of you
me: [walking into my house] way ahead of you
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
I first asked my wife out at a Roadrunner fan convention.
We like to say it was a meep cute.
We like to say it was a meep cute.
November 10, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I first asked my wife out at a Roadrunner fan convention.
We like to say it was a meep cute.
We like to say it was a meep cute.
This chamber echoing louder than than a thousand drunken ricola dudes in a Kentucky cavern
November 10, 2025 at 2:15 PM
This chamber echoing louder than than a thousand drunken ricola dudes in a Kentucky cavern
Don’t worry guys they’ve got a plan to dig up John McCain’s thumb
November 10, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Don’t worry guys they’ve got a plan to dig up John McCain’s thumb
Today marks 50 years since 29 brave sailors gave their lives so that we could have the weirdest hit pop song of the century
November 10, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Today marks 50 years since 29 brave sailors gave their lives so that we could have the weirdest hit pop song of the century
Great work Dems I take back all that stuff I chanted with megaphone guy at the No kings rally
November 10, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Great work Dems I take back all that stuff I chanted with megaphone guy at the No kings rally
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
You know how when you uncover enough universal truths you reach a free personal one, I just got a realizations on off switch
November 10, 2025 at 5:40 AM
You know how when you uncover enough universal truths you reach a free personal one, I just got a realizations on off switch
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Happy 38th birthday to my first mental illness.
November 10, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Happy 38th birthday to my first mental illness.
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
You can’t play arsonist and firefighter forever
November 9, 2025 at 9:10 PM
You can’t play arsonist and firefighter forever
Not sure I want to see the new Frankenstein movie if the monster’s gonna make me horny
November 9, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Not sure I want to see the new Frankenstein movie if the monster’s gonna make me horny
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Support your local flaws, imperfections, mistakes and food banks
November 9, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Support your local flaws, imperfections, mistakes and food banks
Oh hell no Jaxson Dart I remember the 90s and we simply cannot have that hair ever again I mean eh-ver
November 9, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Oh hell no Jaxson Dart I remember the 90s and we simply cannot have that hair ever again I mean eh-ver
OK who the fuck let Walter Matthau in here oh wait never mind it’s my bathroom mirror good god
November 9, 2025 at 4:13 PM
OK who the fuck let Walter Matthau in here oh wait never mind it’s my bathroom mirror good god
The smiling will continue until your morale improves
November 9, 2025 at 3:33 PM
The smiling will continue until your morale improves
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
You see, I’m playing Tetris while everyone else is playing chess *winks with both eyes*
November 9, 2025 at 2:42 PM
You see, I’m playing Tetris while everyone else is playing chess *winks with both eyes*
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
because the person who ran me over in a parking lot is a stranger it is important to use ustedes
November 9, 2025 at 1:03 PM
because the person who ran me over in a parking lot is a stranger it is important to use ustedes
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
People keep asking me if I am enjoying things-- my day, an event, or the weekend-- when I am literally just trying to survive these things
November 9, 2025 at 1:47 PM
People keep asking me if I am enjoying things-- my day, an event, or the weekend-- when I am literally just trying to survive these things
My grandpa first asked my grandma out while they were in line for monthly war rations. They liked to say it was a mete cute
i first asked my wife out while we were in line at the butcher. we like to say it was a meat cute.
November 9, 2025 at 2:50 PM
My grandpa first asked my grandma out while they were in line for monthly war rations. They liked to say it was a mete cute
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
arugula Popeye
(he wears glasses)
(he wears glasses)
November 9, 2025 at 9:37 AM
arugula Popeye
(he wears glasses)
(he wears glasses)
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
I guess the air traffic control system is running on vibes now. Goddess speed everyone!
November 9, 2025 at 10:57 AM
I guess the air traffic control system is running on vibes now. Goddess speed everyone!