Dude, the bag man, man
@fortnitepacifist.bsky.social
Fellow spacetime traveler. Posts no longer clever. ★★☆☆☆
Pinned
Them: Why are you still doomscrolling on that site?
Me (moments away from getting another sensible chuckle):
Me (moments away from getting another sensible chuckle):
lalalala not listening as you try to convince me ostriches dont put their head in the sand yes they do yes they do lalala
November 10, 2025 at 4:36 PM
lalalala not listening as you try to convince me ostriches dont put their head in the sand yes they do yes they do lalala
government bailout for funko pops
November 9, 2025 at 6:50 PM
government bailout for funko pops
because the person who ran me over in a parking lot is a stranger it is important to use ustedes
November 9, 2025 at 1:03 PM
because the person who ran me over in a parking lot is a stranger it is important to use ustedes
Reposted by Dude, the bag man, man
ME: Whatcha doin?
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
November 8, 2025 at 8:44 PM
ME: Whatcha doin?
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
💡regular charitable giving except i get to appoint someone to figure out how much money is actually needed and then they just take it out of my paycheck automatically so my neighbors get to eat and sleep under a roof someone should get on this i think it would work
November 8, 2025 at 7:25 PM
💡regular charitable giving except i get to appoint someone to figure out how much money is actually needed and then they just take it out of my paycheck automatically so my neighbors get to eat and sleep under a roof someone should get on this i think it would work
Reposted by Dude, the bag man, man
if you are an object in motion STAY IN MOTION
November 7, 2025 at 3:00 PM
if you are an object in motion STAY IN MOTION
its 2050 and every morning a line forms before dawn to dance on donald trumps grave
November 8, 2025 at 3:29 AM
its 2050 and every morning a line forms before dawn to dance on donald trumps grave
sorting people into "shit" and "aint shit"
November 8, 2025 at 2:11 AM
sorting people into "shit" and "aint shit"
your parents worked hard to put the heads of the rich on this table and you're going to sit there until you eat your rich if it takes all night
November 7, 2025 at 9:49 PM
your parents worked hard to put the heads of the rich on this table and you're going to sit there until you eat your rich if it takes all night
too many people ruining days
not enough rueing them
not enough rueing them
November 7, 2025 at 3:54 PM
too many people ruining days
not enough rueing them
not enough rueing them
pepper sandwich please only peppers extra peppers extra pepper juices way extra pepper juices hold the bread and a pair of gloves please, to go. do you have a secret police discount
November 7, 2025 at 1:47 AM
pepper sandwich please only peppers extra peppers extra pepper juices way extra pepper juices hold the bread and a pair of gloves please, to go. do you have a secret police discount
Reposted by Dude, the bag man, man
THE MAYOR-ELECT HAS OPENED A PORTAL
We’re hiring!
Our new resume portal is live, and we’re looking for top talent in NYC to help build this administration and deliver on our affordability agenda.
Could that be you? Apply using the link below.
transition2025.com/apply
Our new resume portal is live, and we’re looking for top talent in NYC to help build this administration and deliver on our affordability agenda.
Could that be you? Apply using the link below.
transition2025.com/apply
November 6, 2025 at 5:44 PM
THE MAYOR-ELECT HAS OPENED A PORTAL
nobody ever called me smart for joining a wifi network but sure yeah the refrigerator that spies on us is fucking isaac newton
November 6, 2025 at 5:49 PM
nobody ever called me smart for joining a wifi network but sure yeah the refrigerator that spies on us is fucking isaac newton
koan: what is the text of a deleted post
November 6, 2025 at 4:35 PM
koan: what is the text of a deleted post
starting to think i'm here for a bad AND short time
November 6, 2025 at 4:29 PM
starting to think i'm here for a bad AND short time
Wit the sprinkles, aye, and vanilowhite batter, from a bundtpan or not he couldn'care, he carried to his seat and there paired it with a bowl o' the coldened creme ice from the box of the sam name for a nameday though the eatin of it made in his other seat a wider berth, day by day.
Finnegan's Cake
Finnegan's Cake
November 5, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Wit the sprinkles, aye, and vanilowhite batter, from a bundtpan or not he couldn'care, he carried to his seat and there paired it with a bowl o' the coldened creme ice from the box of the sam name for a nameday though the eatin of it made in his other seat a wider berth, day by day.
Finnegan's Cake
Finnegan's Cake
me personally? i would take the blindfold off before trying to use the scales or that sword. i dont know
November 5, 2025 at 9:44 PM
me personally? i would take the blindfold off before trying to use the scales or that sword. i dont know
Epictetus in a medical gown: My poor body, you mean.
Doctor: (sigh) Yes. I mean your poor body has high cholesterol.
Doctor: (sigh) Yes. I mean your poor body has high cholesterol.
November 5, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Epictetus in a medical gown: My poor body, you mean.
Doctor: (sigh) Yes. I mean your poor body has high cholesterol.
Doctor: (sigh) Yes. I mean your poor body has high cholesterol.
the kid who shat his pants in elementary school for the attention it got him has a right wing podcast now
November 5, 2025 at 5:58 PM
the kid who shat his pants in elementary school for the attention it got him has a right wing podcast now
I dont care what anybody says if I meet the Buddha on the road it's a dap and hug from me
November 5, 2025 at 3:45 PM
I dont care what anybody says if I meet the Buddha on the road it's a dap and hug from me
how about a god whose miracle is that all of their followers understand & agree on their doctrine
November 5, 2025 at 3:28 PM
how about a god whose miracle is that all of their followers understand & agree on their doctrine
Reposted by Dude, the bag man, man
Well, now that I’ve avoided directly answering if I’m wearing a wire, let’s turn the subject to active crimes.
November 5, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Well, now that I’ve avoided directly answering if I’m wearing a wire, let’s turn the subject to active crimes.
Reposted by Dude, the bag man, man
[Werner Herzog voice]
Actually, the McRib never goes away. It is we who are here for a limited time.
Actually, the McRib never goes away. It is we who are here for a limited time.
November 4, 2025 at 3:59 PM
[Werner Herzog voice]
Actually, the McRib never goes away. It is we who are here for a limited time.
Actually, the McRib never goes away. It is we who are here for a limited time.
It's 2056 and Senator Inc., a 30 year old corporation, is running for office.
• U.S. Const. art. I, § 3, cl. 3
• 28 U.S.C. § 1332(c)(1)
• 118 U.S. 394 (1886)
• U.S. Const. art. I, § 3, cl. 3
• 28 U.S.C. § 1332(c)(1)
• 118 U.S. 394 (1886)
November 4, 2025 at 6:20 PM
It's 2056 and Senator Inc., a 30 year old corporation, is running for office.
• U.S. Const. art. I, § 3, cl. 3
• 28 U.S.C. § 1332(c)(1)
• 118 U.S. 394 (1886)
• U.S. Const. art. I, § 3, cl. 3
• 28 U.S.C. § 1332(c)(1)
• 118 U.S. 394 (1886)
finnegans wake is source code for a computer they will create in the year 20,000
November 4, 2025 at 2:51 PM
finnegans wake is source code for a computer they will create in the year 20,000