Reposted by Nottristan
The NBC audio messed up and Mevis sounded like Boomhauer for a little bit.
January 19, 2026 at 3:17 AM
The NBC audio messed up and Mevis sounded like Boomhauer for a little bit.
Reposted by Nottristan
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT
January 19, 2026 at 2:37 AM
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT
Reposted by Nottristan
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
January 18, 2026 at 3:53 PM
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
Reposted by Nottristan
Happy 11th anniversary of me losing my fucking mind over this QVC clip
January 18, 2026 at 2:45 PM
Happy 11th anniversary of me losing my fucking mind over this QVC clip
Reposted by Nottristan
“do you want anything from McDonald’s”
me: round egg please
me: round egg please
December 5, 2025 at 10:41 PM
“do you want anything from McDonald’s”
me: round egg please
me: round egg please
Reposted by Nottristan
Reposted by Nottristan
I love when you tell people how terrible Newsom is, they're always like, "Well, it's nice to have ideals, but if it comes down to him or the Nazi in the general, *I* am going to vote for him"
WE'RE TELLING YOU HOW TERRIBLE HE IS NOW SO IT'S *NOT* A CHOICE BTW HIM & A NAZI, CARL. THAT'S THE POINT.
WE'RE TELLING YOU HOW TERRIBLE HE IS NOW SO IT'S *NOT* A CHOICE BTW HIM & A NAZI, CARL. THAT'S THE POINT.
January 16, 2026 at 5:06 AM
I love when you tell people how terrible Newsom is, they're always like, "Well, it's nice to have ideals, but if it comes down to him or the Nazi in the general, *I* am going to vote for him"
WE'RE TELLING YOU HOW TERRIBLE HE IS NOW SO IT'S *NOT* A CHOICE BTW HIM & A NAZI, CARL. THAT'S THE POINT.
WE'RE TELLING YOU HOW TERRIBLE HE IS NOW SO IT'S *NOT* A CHOICE BTW HIM & A NAZI, CARL. THAT'S THE POINT.
Reposted by Nottristan
you will have to pry the millennial “lol” from my cold dead hands. i don’t know how else to express minor despair. if i didn’t say “lol” after admitting i’m a husk inside, i’d have to develop emotional resilience, and i simply don’t have time for that
January 12, 2026 at 6:35 PM
you will have to pry the millennial “lol” from my cold dead hands. i don’t know how else to express minor despair. if i didn’t say “lol” after admitting i’m a husk inside, i’d have to develop emotional resilience, and i simply don’t have time for that
Reposted by Nottristan
i think gavin newsom fucking sucks and if you ever try to guilt me into voting for him i’ll scream
January 16, 2026 at 3:24 AM
i think gavin newsom fucking sucks and if you ever try to guilt me into voting for him i’ll scream
Reposted by Nottristan
this realistic dog in trails beyond the horizon is fucking terrifying
January 16, 2026 at 1:25 AM
this realistic dog in trails beyond the horizon is fucking terrifying
Reposted by Nottristan
GOP: We are sending armed perverts to assault families. Even babies. We are in open warfare against all things good.
Schumer: People call him TACO, but these days it's getting hard to afford one! Can you chip in $5 today to help us hold Mr. Trump accountable for these soft shell economic policies?
Schumer: People call him TACO, but these days it's getting hard to afford one! Can you chip in $5 today to help us hold Mr. Trump accountable for these soft shell economic policies?
January 15, 2026 at 11:35 PM
GOP: We are sending armed perverts to assault families. Even babies. We are in open warfare against all things good.
Schumer: People call him TACO, but these days it's getting hard to afford one! Can you chip in $5 today to help us hold Mr. Trump accountable for these soft shell economic policies?
Schumer: People call him TACO, but these days it's getting hard to afford one! Can you chip in $5 today to help us hold Mr. Trump accountable for these soft shell economic policies?
Reposted by Nottristan
Seeing Zohran instantly getting a bunch of shit done in like a week makes you realize that politicians could always do that on some level if they wanted it bad enough and very few of them actually do.
January 15, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Seeing Zohran instantly getting a bunch of shit done in like a week makes you realize that politicians could always do that on some level if they wanted it bad enough and very few of them actually do.
Reposted by Nottristan
They ran on being tougher on immigration than Republicans man I’m really mad at the people acting like they were the ones that were failed.
January 14, 2026 at 1:44 AM
They ran on being tougher on immigration than Republicans man I’m really mad at the people acting like they were the ones that were failed.
Reposted by Nottristan
Other people go have a drink after a loss like this but Aaron Rodgers is going to go out there and get measles
January 13, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Other people go have a drink after a loss like this but Aaron Rodgers is going to go out there and get measles
Reposted by Nottristan
Reposted by Nottristan
like when talking about american police you have to talk about how they emerged from slave patrols and there's just generally a lot of educating to do to break through liberal assumptions but there's none of that here. its not a hard communist position to shut down the Evil Murder Department
January 12, 2026 at 1:33 PM
like when talking about american police you have to talk about how they emerged from slave patrols and there's just generally a lot of educating to do to break through liberal assumptions but there's none of that here. its not a hard communist position to shut down the Evil Murder Department
Reposted by Nottristan
doing it for ice is like. you may as well talk about getting godzilla to play for england in the world cup or something like what are you fucking talking about. they're younger than fuckin morrowind. all they have ever done is deport people and ruin lives. what are you on about
January 12, 2026 at 1:29 PM
doing it for ice is like. you may as well talk about getting godzilla to play for england in the world cup or something like what are you fucking talking about. they're younger than fuckin morrowind. all they have ever done is deport people and ruin lives. what are you on about
Reposted by Nottristan
it wasnt true then but i do get how you make the argument for "better training" when it comes to police violence. theoretically there is an ideal of local policing and genuine community care that exists in our collective imaginary. its not actually real but i at least see the fake path
January 12, 2026 at 1:27 PM
it wasnt true then but i do get how you make the argument for "better training" when it comes to police violence. theoretically there is an ideal of local policing and genuine community care that exists in our collective imaginary. its not actually real but i at least see the fake path
Reposted by Nottristan
in baseball, we call this a wheeeeeeeee!
January 11, 2026 at 4:39 AM
in baseball, we call this a wheeeeeeeee!
Reposted by Nottristan
The Bears are gonna win an even dumber game next week, they’re gonna go into halftime down 23 and come back by kicking eight field goals
January 11, 2026 at 4:38 AM
The Bears are gonna win an even dumber game next week, they’re gonna go into halftime down 23 and come back by kicking eight field goals
Reposted by Nottristan
Reposted by Nottristan
man it's so awesome that state force can apparently only ever be deployed against people protesting cruelty and never against the ones causing the cruelty
Governor Walz says he's prepared to deploy the Minnesota National Guard if protests become violent in reaction to ICE fatally shooting a woman in Minneapolis.
"We will not take the bait," adds Walz, saying he's also angry but demonstrations should remain lawful.
"We will not take the bait," adds Walz, saying he's also angry but demonstrations should remain lawful.
January 8, 2026 at 12:20 AM
man it's so awesome that state force can apparently only ever be deployed against people protesting cruelty and never against the ones causing the cruelty
Reposted by Nottristan
And they’ll say they can’t be held accountable because when they pulled the trigger they were afraid for their lives. Their lives which they spent serving an ideology of fear, a machine of fear, a holistic regime of fear. A culture-spanning engine of the ugliest and most dishonest fears there are.
January 7, 2026 at 7:40 PM
And they’ll say they can’t be held accountable because when they pulled the trigger they were afraid for their lives. Their lives which they spent serving an ideology of fear, a machine of fear, a holistic regime of fear. A culture-spanning engine of the ugliest and most dishonest fears there are.
Reposted by Nottristan
“average Brazilian goes to the hospital three times a year" factoid actually just statistical error. Average Brazilian goes to hospital 0 times per year. Hiccuping Jair, who lives in cave & goes to hospital 10,000 times each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.
January 6, 2026 at 7:56 PM
“average Brazilian goes to the hospital three times a year" factoid actually just statistical error. Average Brazilian goes to hospital 0 times per year. Hiccuping Jair, who lives in cave & goes to hospital 10,000 times each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.
Reposted by Nottristan
bae: come over
bolsonaro: i can't, im in the hospital
bae: i have additional medical treatments and surgical procedures at my house
bolsonaro:
bolsonaro: i can't, im in the hospital
bae: i have additional medical treatments and surgical procedures at my house
bolsonaro:
January 6, 2026 at 7:11 PM
bae: come over
bolsonaro: i can't, im in the hospital
bae: i have additional medical treatments and surgical procedures at my house
bolsonaro:
bolsonaro: i can't, im in the hospital
bae: i have additional medical treatments and surgical procedures at my house
bolsonaro: