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TeenagePhlebotomy

@teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social

4.1K followers 3.2K following 12K posts

My neighbor had chickens in his unfenced yard and they shit all over my lawn and patio but now they're dead. I had nothing to do with it.

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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 1h

I have few areas of expertise, but drunken conduct is one of them.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 1h

I can be your guide in such matters.

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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 1h

You gots it. One hi-def rump tunnel headin' yer way.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 1h

Fine, I will message you my colonoscopy images.

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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 2h

The man loves fishing. Maybe a little too much.

Reposted by TeenagePhlebotomy

AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 4h

Balls are the tits of the taint

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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 3h

I am still paying for his mistake 15 years later.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 3h

I am honored!

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 3h

I mean, maybe a couple of guys on the Steelers would like to do the first part, statistically speaking. All 53? Seems impossible.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 3h

I am outside your home and ready to be fed. Please grant me ingress.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 3h

He married me to my second and worst now ex-wife. Fucker has a lot to answer for.

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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 3h

I call my penis Marmaduke because it's disobedient and drools a lot.

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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 4h

As a Pennsylvanian who voted for this guy, I gotta say we did not know Pale Shrek would have a stroke. He did some shitty things as a local mayor, but I don't think many of us saw this coming.

AC @ahmadchildress.bsky.social · 4h

Bro, change parties already.

theintercept.com/2025/10/08/v...

Fetterman Is Sole Democrat to Vote Against Blocking Caribbean Drug Boat Attacks

Republicans in the Senate voted down an war powers bill to block Trump's deadly attacks on alleged Venezuelan drug boats in the Caribbean.

theintercept.com

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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 4h

Getting completely loaded and yelling at your cabinetry is even righter.

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Reposted by TeenagePhlebotomy

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 9h

The Big Anus
ᵇᵃʳ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵍʳ ͥ ˡˡ

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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 4h

I very much love this.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 4h

Libs, your hard-memeing savior is a weenus.

Justin Hendrix @justinhendrix.bsky.social · 4h

California Governor Gavin Newsom "vetoed a bill on Saturday that would have provided more transparency around the water usage of data centers, which regularly require millions of gallons of fresh water to cool their computers."

Gavin Newsom blocks effort to make CA data centers disclose water use. Why?

Data-center water usage can vary from 110 million gallons to 1.8 billion gallons per year.

www.sacbee.com

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Reposted by TeenagePhlebotomy

John @johncnj.bsky.social · 1d

I've really got to stop buying these generic brands. Somehow, this Hamburger Enabler just doesn't taste quite the same.

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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 4h

I have a sack with 454 grams of coffee in it and I'm not afraid to use the contents of that sack at any time of day.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 4h

I clearly meant of German heritage. But thank you for correcting my experience and the menu offerings at the local Turnverein clubs.

I'm done. But I will say this has been instructive.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 4h

moo

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 4h

Yes. I am familiar with pig anatomy. At home, sure. These were places without kitchens. I am talking about German-American bars in the United States. Not German taverns.

This is by far the dumbest conversation I've been involved in. Please leave me alone.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 4h

He was extremely into pickled herring and, frankly, pretty much any canned or pickled fish.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 5h

I see you've read Wikipedia. They were quite popular in German-American bars in the U.S. Perhaps because Schweinshaxe was more difficult to find in taverns.

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 5h

Guys, I'm BOOMBASTIC af.