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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️
@sordideuphemism.bsky.social
250 followers 100 following 2.3K posts
She/Her. Panromantic, Demi-Ace. Trans Woman. Pro-self-id, pro-harm-reduction, sex positive, anti-ai, anti-fash. Be grumpy if you must, but be kind always. Good advice. Terrible jokes. Certified 112% Huggable. Also cute & fluffy. Yes, I'm flirting.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · Feb 6
Hullo there.
I go by the name 'Sordid Euphemism' in lots of places, and eventually settled on the moniker 'Internet Dad' after some conversations on the now overrun birbsite.
Prior names include Robin Goodfellow, Syuni D'zpecyzczn, Twilight Snarkle, and many, many others.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 5h
Goodnight, everyone. Love you. Be good to yourselves or you'll have me to answer to.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 7h
What, never eaten a pudding cup?
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 11h
Must be this cruel angel's thesis.
sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 12h
Yesssssssssss.
sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 12h
a man with a serious look on his face says ah i see you 're a person of culture as well
ALT: a man with a serious look on his face says ah i see you 're a person of culture as well
media.tenor.com
sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 14h
Megamind Villain GIF
ALT: Megamind Villain GIF
media.tenor.com
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 17h
Seriously. Want a filk about peanut butter set to the tune of Girl from Ipanema? Want a flash fiction? Want a picture of my left pinky toe? Let's do this.
sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 17h
Denice is one of the primary reasons I'm happy and healthy today. If you can spare anything to help her stay housed, I would be in your debt. Name it. You know I keep my promises.
sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 19h
700 to go folks. Please, if you can help in any way, I would be in your gratitude.
sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 17h
Denice is one of the primary reasons I'm happy and healthy today. If you can spare anything to help her stay housed, I would be in your debt. Name it. You know I keep my promises.
sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 19h
700 to go folks. Please, if you can help in any way, I would be in your gratitude.
deetheredwitch.bsky.social
Denice (Dee), the Red Witch @deetheredwitch.bsky.social · 19h
Okay. One day left to get funds in for my overdue rent, and roughly 700 left to go on it. Sucks, but, well, it is what it is, and I'm asking for help.
If you wanna just donate, you can do that right here: paypal.me/tormentedart...
Or if you want something in return there's tormentedartifacts.com
sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 18h
Listen to Jossu, she knows what's up.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 18h
Love you. 💕🫂
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 19h
You would have my. I'm tired. You get it.
sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 19h
700 to go folks. Please, if you can help in any way, I would be in your gratitude.
deetheredwitch.bsky.social
Denice (Dee), the Red Witch @deetheredwitch.bsky.social · 19h
Okay. One day left to get funds in for my overdue rent, and roughly 700 left to go on it. Sucks, but, well, it is what it is, and I'm asking for help.
If you wanna just donate, you can do that right here: paypal.me/tormentedart...
Or if you want something in return there's tormentedartifacts.com
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 19h
What a time to be alive.
sailorrooscout.bsky.social
Chise @sailorrooscout.bsky.social · 20h
GOOD NEWS! Researchers have developed a cancer vaccine that has shown STUNNING results, PREVENTING up to 88% of MULTIPLE aggressive cancers by harnessing dual-pathway nanoparticles that train the immune system to recognize and destroy tumor cells. In some cases, it COMPLETELY prevented metastasis.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to no end.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
The man demands the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?”

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.”
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
he monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
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sordideuphemism.bsky.social
Call Me Sordid 🏳️‍⚧️ @sordideuphemism.bsky.social · 22h
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”
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