Turmut Hoer
4u5t0.bsky.social
Turmut Hoer
@4u5t0.bsky.social
Now zum deloights in 'aymakin' an' zum they vancies mow-w-w-win', but of all the jobs as Oi loik best gi'e Oi the turmut 'oein'
Pinned
Little known: Gilbert & Sullivan reviewed baked goods in southwest Cornwall. They found the following prices:

Newlyn: steak & kidney thruppence, chicken tuppence ha'penny
Mousehole: both 3d
Paul: s&k 2½d, chicken 2d
Gulval: both 2½d
Heamoor: s&k 2d, chicken 3d

Those were the pie rates of Penzance.
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[to the tune of Eleanor Rigby]

Jonathan Gullis
Studies his shorts on the train with a sense of unease
Too much Febreze
December 4, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Charming misspelling on a menu in my excellent local caff.

Scampi Tales.

I now have visions of Dublin Bay Prawns gathering together to have a natter about the times they had known.
December 4, 2025 at 12:59 PM
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Latest painting (acrylic on canvas)
December 4, 2025 at 8:56 AM
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This is such a mess. The HBO Max "remastered" version of The Simpsons reveals that Duff, Duff Lite, and Duff Dry all come from the same pipe. 🙄
December 3, 2025 at 3:43 PM
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You’re absolutely right — you are Pagliacci. It would certainly be difficult for you to attend your own performance! I should not have given such paradoxical advice, and I apologize deeply for the error. There is no excuse for my failure.
December 3, 2025 at 1:12 AM
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December 2, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Things My Orange Cat Is Curious About But Does Not Want When It Comes Down To It, Part 345,045: my glass of ruby port.
December 2, 2025 at 9:13 PM
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December 2, 2025 at 11:32 AM
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They could’ve made this one sign.
December 2, 2025 at 11:45 AM
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🎶 Do You Wanna Build A Crowmaaaan 🎶 ☃️
December 2, 2025 at 10:12 AM
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December 1, 2025 at 5:39 PM
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i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse
December 2, 2025 at 1:39 AM
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"Sue and Rupert's dream home includes both a stonking amount of bonkers, and a bonkers amount of stonking"
December 2, 2025 at 2:25 AM
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the coop this evening with possibly the most baffling musical choice i have ever experienced in a supermarket
December 1, 2025 at 9:18 PM
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Proffsssor Plummm, in the master roksn, with the candlcstrikk
Oh shit waddup
December 1, 2025 at 9:53 PM
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let’s all take a moment to appreciate blank VHS packaging design trends
September 3, 2025 at 3:12 PM
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AD-ROCK: Yo Ebenezer you gotta show re-
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
January 5, 2025 at 8:01 PM
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Perfect. No notes.
This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥
December 1, 2025 at 2:44 PM
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SIMPLY HAVING A
December 14, 2024 at 1:23 PM
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The Munsters poses the chilling question, what if your parents were a vampire and a Frankenstein? The Addams Family poses the chilling question, what if your parents were openly sexual?
December 1, 2025 at 2:56 AM
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November 30, 2025 at 10:57 AM
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Apologies for posting this again but Kemi Badenoch's take on Christianity reminded me.
#Viz
November 28, 2025 at 12:08 PM
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Cannibal Ferox.
What is Britain's favourite Christmas film?

Home Alone: 19%
Die Hard: 11%
Elf: 9%
Love Actually: 7%
It's a Wonderful Life: 6%
A Christmas Carol: 5%
The Muppet Christmas Carol: 5%
The Holiday: 5%
The Grinch: 4%
Miracle on 34th Street: 3%
Santa Claus: The Movie: 3%
The Polar Express: 3%
November 28, 2025 at 9:09 PM
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We’ve mapped the mansion tax.

You can see who's paying - which constituency, which postcode - and how many "mansions" are near you.

Full interactive map here 👇
November 28, 2025 at 9:34 AM