Turmut Hoer
@4u5t0.bsky.social
Now zum deloights in 'aymakin' an' zum they vancies mow-w-w-win', but of all the jobs as Oi loik best gi'e Oi the turmut 'oein'
Pinned
Turmut Hoer
@4u5t0.bsky.social
· Dec 3
Little known: Gilbert & Sullivan reviewed baked goods in southwest Cornwall. They found the following prices:
Newlyn: steak & kidney thruppence, chicken tuppence ha'penny
Mousehole: both 3d
Paul: s&k 2½d, chicken 2d
Gulval: both 2½d
Heamoor: s&k 2d, chicken 3d
Those were the pie rates of Penzance.
Newlyn: steak & kidney thruppence, chicken tuppence ha'penny
Mousehole: both 3d
Paul: s&k 2½d, chicken 2d
Gulval: both 2½d
Heamoor: s&k 2d, chicken 3d
Those were the pie rates of Penzance.
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
The room is
almost all
elephant.
Almost none
of it isn’t.
Pretty much
solid elephant.
So there’s no
room to talk
about it.
-Kay Ryan, “The Elephant in the Room”
#everynightapoem
almost all
elephant.
Almost none
of it isn’t.
Pretty much
solid elephant.
So there’s no
room to talk
about it.
-Kay Ryan, “The Elephant in the Room”
#everynightapoem
November 13, 2025 at 12:13 AM
The room is
almost all
elephant.
Almost none
of it isn’t.
Pretty much
solid elephant.
So there’s no
room to talk
about it.
-Kay Ryan, “The Elephant in the Room”
#everynightapoem
almost all
elephant.
Almost none
of it isn’t.
Pretty much
solid elephant.
So there’s no
room to talk
about it.
-Kay Ryan, “The Elephant in the Room”
#everynightapoem
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
Have you heard Bill Bailey’s affectionate Portishead pisstake ? youtu.be/0R7OVnTyUvM?...
Bill Bailey - Zippedee Do Dah - Part Troll
YouTube video by billbailey
youtu.be
November 13, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Have you heard Bill Bailey’s affectionate Portishead pisstake ? youtu.be/0R7OVnTyUvM?...
November 13, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
Happy Monster says 'Hi!'
November 13, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Happy Monster says 'Hi!'
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
Meet Charles Hodges (left) and David Peacock (right).
Meet Hall and Oates, the moobs formerly known as Tango and Cash
You name your boobs after your favourite music duo! What are the names of your boobs?🤔😁
November 13, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Meet Charles Hodges (left) and David Peacock (right).
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
jeffrey epstein won't see your jokes about how poorly written his emails were, but your barely literate friends also won't see them, because they can't read. fire away
November 13, 2025 at 4:55 AM
jeffrey epstein won't see your jokes about how poorly written his emails were, but your barely literate friends also won't see them, because they can't read. fire away
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
Release the EpiPen files!
[indistinct noises]
No, seriously, that fucken bee is gonna kill me.
[indistinct noises]
No, seriously, that fucken bee is gonna kill me.
November 12, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Release the EpiPen files!
[indistinct noises]
No, seriously, that fucken bee is gonna kill me.
[indistinct noises]
No, seriously, that fucken bee is gonna kill me.
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
Apollo 13: Houston we have a problem
NASA Management: That's not how we speak in this office
Apollo 13: Sorry, Houston we have an opportunity to succeed
NASA Management: That's not how we speak in this office
Apollo 13: Sorry, Houston we have an opportunity to succeed
November 12, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Apollo 13: Houston we have a problem
NASA Management: That's not how we speak in this office
Apollo 13: Sorry, Houston we have an opportunity to succeed
NASA Management: That's not how we speak in this office
Apollo 13: Sorry, Houston we have an opportunity to succeed
Age yourself with gaming.
November 12, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Age yourself with gaming.
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
and so we move one step closer to the creation of Hitler Park
Exclusive: Adolf Hitler’s DNA has been sequenced by scientists
It has:
- shown he had a disorder which impacted his sexual development
- debunked rumours about his ancestry
- shown a high likelihood that he had a neurodivergent condition and/or bipolar disorder
www.thetimes.com/article/e728...
It has:
- shown he had a disorder which impacted his sexual development
- debunked rumours about his ancestry
- shown a high likelihood that he had a neurodivergent condition and/or bipolar disorder
www.thetimes.com/article/e728...
Hitler had hidden genetic sexual disorder, DNA analysis reveals
The Nazi dictator had Kallmann syndrome, which hinders normal puberty and the development of sexual organs, according to groundbreaking research
www.thetimes.com
November 12, 2025 at 5:45 PM
and so we move one step closer to the creation of Hitler Park
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
All those flags ... that's a pretty challenging golf course.
November 12, 2025 at 12:50 PM
All those flags ... that's a pretty challenging golf course.
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
there's a priest who's job, twice a day, is to lift a floor stone in the nave and check the water level with a Holy Dipstick and communicate if the sluice needs adjusting
again, i am not exaggerating
again, i am not exaggerating
November 12, 2025 at 12:57 PM
there's a priest who's job, twice a day, is to lift a floor stone in the nave and check the water level with a Holy Dipstick and communicate if the sluice needs adjusting
again, i am not exaggerating
again, i am not exaggerating
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
It’s 12 November, so it’s time to mark the 55th anniversary of the exploding whale of Oregon, an attempt to clear a cetacean carcass from a beach which prompted one reporter to say “The blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds”
November 12, 2025 at 9:58 AM
It’s 12 November, so it’s time to mark the 55th anniversary of the exploding whale of Oregon, an attempt to clear a cetacean carcass from a beach which prompted one reporter to say “The blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds”
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
I like the Carry On films but the lore is too confusing, impossible for modern audiences to accept these people could play a major part in the French Revolution AND lose their bras on camping holidays
November 11, 2025 at 1:24 PM
I like the Carry On films but the lore is too confusing, impossible for modern audiences to accept these people could play a major part in the French Revolution AND lose their bras on camping holidays
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
Fine, I will write the next James Bond.
INT: SEX CASINO, NIGHT
BOND: Hello I am Bond James Bond my car goes NYOOM
CUT TO: ten minutes of a chase in a sports car
BOND: Also my watch is a special watch that makes ladies blouses see through
EXPLOSION
BOND: This film is for grown ups
INT: SEX CASINO, NIGHT
BOND: Hello I am Bond James Bond my car goes NYOOM
CUT TO: ten minutes of a chase in a sports car
BOND: Also my watch is a special watch that makes ladies blouses see through
EXPLOSION
BOND: This film is for grown ups
November 11, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Fine, I will write the next James Bond.
INT: SEX CASINO, NIGHT
BOND: Hello I am Bond James Bond my car goes NYOOM
CUT TO: ten minutes of a chase in a sports car
BOND: Also my watch is a special watch that makes ladies blouses see through
EXPLOSION
BOND: This film is for grown ups
INT: SEX CASINO, NIGHT
BOND: Hello I am Bond James Bond my car goes NYOOM
CUT TO: ten minutes of a chase in a sports car
BOND: Also my watch is a special watch that makes ladies blouses see through
EXPLOSION
BOND: This film is for grown ups
BOND REBOOT IDEA
Bond pieces himself slowly together and escapes hell. The Cenobites are furious.
The Cenobites come in four terrifying flavours: Priest, Chatterer, Butterball, Woman.
Bond pieces himself slowly together and escapes hell. The Cenobites are furious.
The Cenobites come in four terrifying flavours: Priest, Chatterer, Butterball, Woman.
November 11, 2025 at 1:05 PM
BOND REBOOT IDEA
Bond pieces himself slowly together and escapes hell. The Cenobites are furious.
The Cenobites come in four terrifying flavours: Priest, Chatterer, Butterball, Woman.
Bond pieces himself slowly together and escapes hell. The Cenobites are furious.
The Cenobites come in four terrifying flavours: Priest, Chatterer, Butterball, Woman.
Reposted by Turmut Hoer
“It’s impossible to reboot Bond” says production team who decided Bond first got his licence to kill in the 21st Century, as Daniel Craig, then got incredibly old within two films and was being put out to pasture, but also had Sean Connery’s 1960s car.
It’s Bond. Just do whatever the fuck you like.
It’s Bond. Just do whatever the fuck you like.
November 11, 2025 at 10:39 AM
“It’s impossible to reboot Bond” says production team who decided Bond first got his licence to kill in the 21st Century, as Daniel Craig, then got incredibly old within two films and was being put out to pasture, but also had Sean Connery’s 1960s car.
It’s Bond. Just do whatever the fuck you like.
It’s Bond. Just do whatever the fuck you like.