i always do. not my problem!

trainspotting is so easy...they're just at the station

(black metal voice) weeee

im an equal opportunities idiot

First Alpaca to be shaved looking in a full length mirror: wh-what the fuck have you done, bro

doing crime (stealing the pears off of cactuses in people's yards)

Tough choice huh

The Well Laid Turd

Merle Haggard is like if Johnny Cash had any talent.

Many people have forgotten how to be kind. Even fewer rewind.

Going to the protests as a "tadpole"

Tomorrow is Tuesday

It has been 0️⃣ days since the last household glitter fiasco

wait, was that guy who was creating a frog army in his backyard a few years ago not an environmental terrorist and actually just on to something?

Sticker on my old truck

Feels like novelty socks weather out there.

Today's not the day

sleepytime bear looking ass

Imagine you're on the surface of a donut. The sprinkles on top are made of much different ingredients, but are still generally refered to as the "donut." The creme filling inside is also very different, yet still part of the "donut." Now imagine that donut exists in your future, past and present.

2025 minivan: I have navigation and TVs to keep kiddies entertained
1990 minivan: I have ashtrays for the entire family