a ball of goof
@zutigard.bsky.social
Reposted by a ball of goof
An irrelevant and poignant sensation of pleasure rose in him, like a tree that grew up and flowered all in one moment with its roots in his loins and its flowers in his mind.
February 9, 2026 at 9:30 AM
An irrelevant and poignant sensation of pleasure rose in him, like a tree that grew up and flowered all in one moment with its roots in his loins and its flowers in his mind.
Reposted by a ball of goof
i want a girl with a short skirt
and a looooooong rap sheet
and a looooooong rap sheet
February 6, 2026 at 3:48 AM
i want a girl with a short skirt
and a looooooong rap sheet
and a looooooong rap sheet
Reposted by a ball of goof
Dance like people are watching and you’re trying to make them upset
February 6, 2026 at 2:46 AM
Dance like people are watching and you’re trying to make them upset
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"The electric lines represent the power of social injustices that I ache to destroy?"
"No babe. You just fuck shit up."
"No babe. You just fuck shit up."
November 3, 2025 at 8:25 PM
"The electric lines represent the power of social injustices that I ache to destroy?"
"No babe. You just fuck shit up."
"No babe. You just fuck shit up."
Reposted by a ball of goof
Reposted by a ball of goof
These are not serious people.
November 19, 2025 at 9:05 AM
These are not serious people.
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[On a date]
Me: *screams in the combined voices of every life form I’ve assimilated*
Her: wait are you a Thing?
Me: *screams in the combined voices of every life form I’ve assimilated*
Her: wait are you a Thing?
October 20, 2025 at 12:25 AM
[On a date]
Me: *screams in the combined voices of every life form I’ve assimilated*
Her: wait are you a Thing?
Me: *screams in the combined voices of every life form I’ve assimilated*
Her: wait are you a Thing?
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Cracker Barrel is just Waffle House for people who can’t throw a chair or a decent punch.
August 22, 2025 at 11:41 AM
Cracker Barrel is just Waffle House for people who can’t throw a chair or a decent punch.
Reposted by a ball of goof
Reposted by a ball of goof
i dont think anyone experiences romantic love after 35. like your genes dont activate that feeling anymore because you should be dead by sabretooth tiger attack by now
October 6, 2025 at 12:53 AM
i dont think anyone experiences romantic love after 35. like your genes dont activate that feeling anymore because you should be dead by sabretooth tiger attack by now
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Her: What's your body count?
Me: I haven't killed anyone yet.
Me: I haven't killed anyone yet.
October 2, 2025 at 7:52 AM
Her: What's your body count?
Me: I haven't killed anyone yet.
Me: I haven't killed anyone yet.
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If delivery services actually start using drones I reserve the right to use electronic warfare
October 2, 2025 at 11:44 AM
If delivery services actually start using drones I reserve the right to use electronic warfare
Reposted by a ball of goof
Reposted by a ball of goof
USMC SAW gunner, 2026, in full kit:
“Ew, Starbucks?! Really, bro? The coffee at Exquisite Creatures on Ash Street is so much better than Starbucks!”
Me in Kabul, 2012, holding a monkey’s paw:
“I wish the military didn’t have to always deploy to shit holes.”
“Ew, Starbucks?! Really, bro? The coffee at Exquisite Creatures on Ash Street is so much better than Starbucks!”
Me in Kabul, 2012, holding a monkey’s paw:
“I wish the military didn’t have to always deploy to shit holes.”
October 2, 2025 at 12:36 AM
USMC SAW gunner, 2026, in full kit:
“Ew, Starbucks?! Really, bro? The coffee at Exquisite Creatures on Ash Street is so much better than Starbucks!”
Me in Kabul, 2012, holding a monkey’s paw:
“I wish the military didn’t have to always deploy to shit holes.”
“Ew, Starbucks?! Really, bro? The coffee at Exquisite Creatures on Ash Street is so much better than Starbucks!”
Me in Kabul, 2012, holding a monkey’s paw:
“I wish the military didn’t have to always deploy to shit holes.”
Reposted by a ball of goof
tomorrow is Yom Kippur and you’re supposed to read the story of Jonah but the only thing we have is a Norton edition King James Bible that I have from college so I’ll be reading Father Mapple’s sermon from Moby Dick to my six year old
October 2, 2025 at 1:46 AM
tomorrow is Yom Kippur and you’re supposed to read the story of Jonah but the only thing we have is a Norton edition King James Bible that I have from college so I’ll be reading Father Mapple’s sermon from Moby Dick to my six year old
Reposted by a ball of goof
If cats don’t want to be held like babies then why baby sized
October 1, 2025 at 9:16 PM
If cats don’t want to be held like babies then why baby sized
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I’m stupid, arguing with me is completely pointless.
October 2, 2025 at 2:36 AM
I’m stupid, arguing with me is completely pointless.
Reposted by a ball of goof
[Werner Herzog voice] Charlie Brown seems surprised when Lucy pulls away the football, and yet he knows that failure is his destiny
October 2, 2025 at 4:13 AM
[Werner Herzog voice] Charlie Brown seems surprised when Lucy pulls away the football, and yet he knows that failure is his destiny
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Mira is on a stellar 23 year old run of not tomahawking anybody, I think she deserves to have a few as a treat
I am normal and can be trusted with Tomahawks
October 1, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Mira is on a stellar 23 year old run of not tomahawking anybody, I think she deserves to have a few as a treat
Reposted by a ball of goof
Everything I do is for the sake of enhancing my lore and making my obituary interesting
October 2, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Everything I do is for the sake of enhancing my lore and making my obituary interesting
Reposted by a ball of goof
Not all demons have horns, some have nice tits
October 2, 2025 at 7:06 AM
Not all demons have horns, some have nice tits
Reposted by a ball of goof
Cat: meow?
Me: I don't know how to explain better that you literally just ate fish, you are literally stuffed full of fish. You physically cannot eat more fish, just look at you.
Cat: meow.
Me: No time does not work differently in the "cat dimension" that is not even a thing
Me: I don't know how to explain better that you literally just ate fish, you are literally stuffed full of fish. You physically cannot eat more fish, just look at you.
Cat: meow.
Me: No time does not work differently in the "cat dimension" that is not even a thing
October 1, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Cat: meow?
Me: I don't know how to explain better that you literally just ate fish, you are literally stuffed full of fish. You physically cannot eat more fish, just look at you.
Cat: meow.
Me: No time does not work differently in the "cat dimension" that is not even a thing
Me: I don't know how to explain better that you literally just ate fish, you are literally stuffed full of fish. You physically cannot eat more fish, just look at you.
Cat: meow.
Me: No time does not work differently in the "cat dimension" that is not even a thing