Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
banner
twiggypeas.bsky.social
Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
@twiggypeas.bsky.social
"If you try hard, and you never give up, and you never stop running, they'll never catch you."
~Jonathan Floor, CEO
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
DETECTIVE HARRY HOLE: Its me, norways famous detective, Harry Hole. in Norway it's a normal name.

POLICE CHIEF: Hole, I'm glad you're here, and that your name is normal, in our culture. this is a hell of a murder
April 11, 2024 at 2:16 AM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
not a lot of people know this life hack: instead of shoveling snow, you can just leave it and move away forever
January 27, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
We Thought We Landed an Interview With the Steve Miller Band’s Singer, but It Turns Out This Guy Works in the Government, and He’s Really Fucking Awful
thehardtimes.net/blog/we-thou...
We Thought We Landed an Interview With the Steve Miller Band’s Singer, but It Turns Out This Guy Works in the Government, and He’s Really Fucking Awful
OK, first off, why are we being tasked with interviewing the frontman for The Steve Miller Band? We’re a punk news website, and we’re only dimly aware of songs like “Fly Like an Eagle” and “Take the…
thehardtimes.net
January 22, 2026 at 10:01 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
ICE are turd-eating bitch boys.

8,001.
"We've seen over a thousand percent increase in assaults on ICE officers, 8,000 verbal assaults on them...."
January 20, 2026 at 12:46 AM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
they may cosplay Nazis but in Hitler's state Stephen Miller would have been whisked immediately off to the gas ovens & Noem would be earning modest wages prying gold fillings out of the teeth of corpses.
January 14, 2026 at 11:08 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
"Abolish Ice" Democrats have my full support.
"Ice Needs Better Training" Democrats can fuck right off.
January 13, 2026 at 11:40 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was this one where an audience member picks a random card and then the devil has that card folded up in his mouth at the end of the trick, like whaaaat? Crazy.
January 3, 2026 at 5:38 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
Marry your best friend. Your spouse will be pissed off but the look on their face will be worth it! Follow for more prank tips.
December 25, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
ChatGPT cuts the crusts off my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I'm a big business boy.
December 9, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
no i do not want to give you my email for 10% off. and furthermore, I don’t think i should have to click a button that says “i’m a dumb bitch” to indicate that. you’re a website that sells blankets and you can’t speak to me like that.
December 4, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
November 30, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
If he gets hit by sugar next, he'll legally have to register as a cake.
November 30, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
I have seen way too many takes lately that boil down to "EBT should only buy you unflavored soy slurry, and if you're caught smiling while eating it, the cops should beat you up."
November 3, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Men love to listen to podcasts where other men tell them what kind of men women like
October 31, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
October 20, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
note to incoming bluesky users: you MUST bring your own joke understandings. members and staff are NOT responsible for explaining what, how, and why jokes are
October 16, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for practice and the other one is the "main" grave.
October 14, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
You can't logic your way out of being burnt out. Unless you're me. Who should be able to do it and it's a personal failing that I can't
October 13, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
why is it so embarrassing when you don't have a specific item in your house. like I've gone 20 years without needing a wire stripper, but now dad's friend Keith is asking if I have one and I'm standing here like a wire-stripperless chump
October 14, 2025 at 1:53 AM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
I wish I was as tired at 1.30am as I am at 4.30pm.
October 14, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
Checking out my war-ravaged neighborhood here in SE Portland this morning. Everyone stay safe out there.
October 12, 2025 at 6:08 PM
I just noticed Sluggo is sleeping on a couch. My poor ass slept on a couch every winter for 15 years (we didn't have heat in the bedrooms). Great observational detail, Bushmiller, 10/10
Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller
October 11,1954
October 12, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
why do they call it portland, maine? it's on the wrong side of the country for that, it should be starboardland
October 2, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Reposted by Twiggy Peas Champion of England 🏳️‍⚧️
without acne Id be unstoppable
September 24, 2025 at 1:51 PM