Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz

@ostrichson.bsky.social

3.4K followers 150 following 22K posts

Polish writer, comedian, and Korpiklaani fan in Yokohama. Ask me about Godzilla, Oda Nobunaga, Bane, Justified, or sumo. Work: The Japan Times, Tokyo Weekender, Star Trek, NatGeo, The Flytrap, and McSweeney's. He/him. 日本語 OK!

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · Oct 9

Art Nouveau is when stuff looks like it was made by Elves.

Art Deco is when stuff looks like it was made by Dwarves.

An Art Nouveau staircase decorated with curved patterns and soft colors, with a nature-themed background and rounded windows on the walls.

Art Deco staircase. An angular, grand design in dark colors.

180 3.2K 10K

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 1m

Yeah, but my version is dumber and therefore superior.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 7m

Yeah but they do that to all non-Republicans.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 8m

Have you met the hyrax, the animal that *always* looks like it's tired of humanity's shit?

A hyrax. Looks like a big-ass hamster-like thing that's constantly pissed off.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 11m

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow,
Bright blue his bra is,
and his boobs are massive.
Nobody said this would rhyme.

Sleeplessone @sleeplessone.com · 16m

Just catching up on the latest trends.

With thanks to @faineg.bsky.social for introducing me to Tom "Bazongabil"

Side by side image of Tom Bombadil from The Lord of the Rings, a happy man in a blue robe dancing while carrying a leaf. The left half is labeled "Designed with Gamers In Mind" where Tom is shown to have large breasts in a bra with clevage. On the right is labeled "Designed With Activists In Mind" where he appears normal.

1 2

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 13m

WE CAN'T WE HAVE ANYTHING NICE?!!

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 18m

I went into Burger King and said "I'm lovin' it here" and the cashier cast a Level 3 Fireball at me.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 5h

I went into a McDonald's and said "I want to have it my way" and they threw Sprite in my face.

Reposted by Cezary Jan Strusiewicz

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 1h

Total exoneration.

$1,000 cash for her troubles.

Selfie with a celebrity of her choice.

Her boss getting audited.

Her face on the $20-dollar bill.

8-ʙɪᴛ™ @the8bitidiot.bsky.social · 2h

Free her!!!

2 4 11

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 38m

Nothing is truly real but I hope this is as real as it can get.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 1h

It appears so(da).

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 1h

Total exoneration.

$1,000 cash for her troubles.

Selfie with a celebrity of her choice.

Her boss getting audited.

Her face on the $20-dollar bill.

8-ʙɪᴛ™ @the8bitidiot.bsky.social · 2h

Free her!!!

2 4 11

Reposted by Cezary Jan Strusiewicz

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 5h

I went into a McDonald's and said "I want to have it my way" and they threw Sprite in my face.

1 1 6

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 1h

If we're playing that game:

Vance fucked 420 couches since becoming VP. He claims he fucked 0 but that's because he's so overwhelmed with couch fucking, he doesn't have time to keep score.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 14h

WELKER: Are you looking at invoking the Insurrection Act?

VANCE: We have to remember we are talking about this bc crime has gotten out of control

W: Crime is down in both Chicago & Portland

V: Crime is down bc they are so overwhelmed at the local level they are not even keeping stats properly

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 1h

I actually chose "violins," but the guy at the Terrible Pun registration desk misheard me.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 3h

Is Neutral Milk Hotel the child of Good Charlotte and Bad Religion?

1 2

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 5h

Hey, betsy, did you hear that Trump destroyed Christmas? Wild stuff. Pass it along.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 5h

wayne 's world is giving a thumbs up and smiling .

ALT: wayne 's world is giving a thumbs up and smiling .

media.tenor.com

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 5h

I went into a McDonald's and said "I want to have it my way" and they threw Sprite in my face.

1 1 6

Reposted by Cezary Jan Strusiewicz

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 1d

I decided to start posting NSFW content:

Oil spilled on the floor!

Opened containers of hazardous materials!

Operating a forklift without certification or training!

Ladders overloaded beyond their maximum intended load!

Sides and edges of platforms unprotected by barriers!

No helmets!

Acid!

8 14 64

Reposted by Cezary Jan Strusiewicz

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 22h

OK, idea:

All games must now include Gooner Mode. Activate it and the adult female characters get M-cup boobs and bikinis. That's what it'll say. In reality, Gooner Mode will turn the screen black so ppl can look at their sad reflections before reading the message: Your mom would be ashamed of you.

Ana Valens | 🔞 | Comms Open @acvalens.net · 2d

Gamers’ brains are so cooked dude. The woman on the right is gorgeous and beautiful. Straight gamer men literally can’t find normal women attractive anymore.

Designed With
Gamers In Mind Designed With
Activists In Mind

4 8 45

Reposted by Cezary Jan Strusiewicz

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 16h

See, this is why the Yanks rebelled.

David Sligar @davidsligar.bsky.social · 1d

Attlee taught Labour to walk, now he watches on as they fly

1 7

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 13h

I wouldn't say "always" but he is very talented.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 14h

Your argument has convinced me.

1 2

Reposted by Cezary Jan Strusiewicz

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 21h

Also, if you know a real-life Khaleesi, just... I don't know, just give her $20 and say "Sorry."

1 1 13

Reposted by Cezary Jan Strusiewicz

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 18h

Why would anyone get an English degree when I can go to ChatGPT *now* and tell it to summarize all of Western literature in 100 words, then read it out to me in the voice of an anime girl, then make me a drawing of the anime girl, then give the anime girl giant bazongas, then call a priest for me?

5 2 22

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz @ostrichson.bsky.social · 16h

See, this is why the Yanks rebelled.

David Sligar @davidsligar.bsky.social · 1d

Attlee taught Labour to walk, now he watches on as they fly

1 7