The Beaverton
@thebeaverton.com
North America’s Trusted Source Of News
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Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebeaverton
Merch: https://the-beaverton.myshopify.com/
Air Fryer latest appliance to fail to save marriage
Air Fryer latest appliance to fail to save marriage
TRENTON, ON - After buying an air fryer over a year ago, Bobby and Muriel Fuller regret this latest appliance purchase has failed to save their marriage after a string of attempts with other novelty ...
www.thebeaverton.com
December 6, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Air Fryer latest appliance to fail to save marriage
Divorced Dad advent calendar promises big chocolate every other weekend
Divorced Dad advent calendar promises big chocolate every other weekend
VANCOUVER — A new brand of advent calendar made for divorced dads by Divorced Dads features one very large chocolate every other weekend to show your child that you care just as much if not more than ...
thebeaverton.com
December 6, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Divorced Dad advent calendar promises big chocolate every other weekend
This Holiday Season give the gift that says 'Health Canada can't tell you what to do' the-beaverton.myshopify.com/products/hea...
December 5, 2025 at 6:14 PM
This Holiday Season give the gift that says 'Health Canada can't tell you what to do' the-beaverton.myshopify.com/products/hea...
New Stranger Things season draws on nostalgia for 2016 when it was good
New Stranger Things season draws on nostalgia for 2016 when it was good
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Netflix's smash hit Stranger Things, which has drawn on influences like E.T., Nightmare On Elm Street, and Back To The Future, has used its recently-released 5th season to draw on view...
www.thebeaverton.com
December 5, 2025 at 4:08 PM
New Stranger Things season draws on nostalgia for 2016 when it was good
The separatists are turning against Danielle Smith. With @clareblackwood.bsky.social and @ianmmacintyre.bsky.social
December 4, 2025 at 9:11 PM
The separatists are turning against Danielle Smith. With @clareblackwood.bsky.social and @ianmmacintyre.bsky.social
Introducing our new brand new Christmas Tree Ornament collection. Because nothing says Happy Holidays like regional jokes. 10% off with promo code: XMAS2025 the-beaverton.myshopify.com/collections/...
December 4, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Introducing our new brand new Christmas Tree Ornament collection. Because nothing says Happy Holidays like regional jokes. 10% off with promo code: XMAS2025 the-beaverton.myshopify.com/collections/...
Quebec legislators brainstorming ideas for which religion to scapegoat next (Podcast)
Quebec legislators brainstorming ideas for which religion to scapegoat next
“This ‘blame Muslims’ thing has been great, but we can’t ride that wave forever.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk about the fallout from the Pipeline MOU for C...
thebeaverton.com
December 4, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Quebec legislators brainstorming ideas for which religion to scapegoat next (Podcast)
Poilievre asks BC Conservative leader for tips on just refusing to leave
Poilievre asks BC Conservative leader for tips on just refusing to leave
VICTORIA, B.C. - CPC leader Pierre Poilievre has expressed keen interest as news broke that BC Conservative Party leader John Rustad is unilaterally rejecting his party’s attempts to remove him.
www.thebeaverton.com
December 4, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Poilievre asks BC Conservative leader for tips on just refusing to leave
New podcast!
-Carney and Smith try to contain the fallout of their MOU
-Pete Hegseth wages war on drug smugglers and human decency
-Quebec hits the racism disguised as secularism button again
+More
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/349F...
-Carney and Smith try to contain the fallout of their MOU
-Pete Hegseth wages war on drug smugglers and human decency
-Quebec hits the racism disguised as secularism button again
+More
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/349F...
December 3, 2025 at 3:14 PM
New podcast!
-Carney and Smith try to contain the fallout of their MOU
-Pete Hegseth wages war on drug smugglers and human decency
-Quebec hits the racism disguised as secularism button again
+More
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/349F...
-Carney and Smith try to contain the fallout of their MOU
-Pete Hegseth wages war on drug smugglers and human decency
-Quebec hits the racism disguised as secularism button again
+More
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/349F...
Reposted by The Beaverton
White House astonished as Pete Hegseth reads Franklin book all by himself
White House astonished as Pete Hegseth reads Franklin book all by himself
WASHINGTON D.C. - Officials inside the Trump White House are beaming with pride after US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth was able to complete the classic Canadian children’s book Franklin Fibs without a...
www.thebeaverton.com
December 3, 2025 at 2:07 AM
White House astonished as Pete Hegseth reads Franklin book all by himself
White House astonished as Pete Hegseth reads Franklin book all by himself
White House astonished as Pete Hegseth reads Franklin book all by himself
WASHINGTON D.C. - Officials inside the Trump White House are beaming with pride after US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth was able to complete the classic Canadian children’s book Franklin Fibs without a...
www.thebeaverton.com
December 3, 2025 at 2:07 AM
White House astonished as Pete Hegseth reads Franklin book all by himself
PEI waiting for someone to notice they voted to separate from Canada in 2019
PEI waiting for someone to notice they voted to separate from Canada in 2019
CHARLOTTETOWN - The Premier of Prince Edward Island, apparently someone named Rob Lantz, released a statement demanding a response from Ottawa on the 2019 separation referendum that resulted in the pr...
www.thebeaverton.com
December 2, 2025 at 11:53 PM
PEI waiting for someone to notice they voted to separate from Canada in 2019
The #1 rated Christmas Gift for the 'That Guy' in your life for 3 years running. Take 10% off with promo: XMAS2025 the-beaverton.myshopify.com/products/thi...
December 2, 2025 at 7:59 PM
The #1 rated Christmas Gift for the 'That Guy' in your life for 3 years running. Take 10% off with promo: XMAS2025 the-beaverton.myshopify.com/products/thi...
We Act Real Mature About Poilievre’s New Campaign Manager’s Name.
feat Luke, Ian, @clareblackwood.bsky.social and @mmmegan.bsky.social
feat Luke, Ian, @clareblackwood.bsky.social and @mmmegan.bsky.social
December 2, 2025 at 2:50 AM
We Act Real Mature About Poilievre’s New Campaign Manager’s Name.
feat Luke, Ian, @clareblackwood.bsky.social and @mmmegan.bsky.social
feat Luke, Ian, @clareblackwood.bsky.social and @mmmegan.bsky.social
Historians unearth the pagan roots of Cyber Monday, reveal its origin in the ancient festival of CompuServehain
Historians unearth the pagan roots of Cyber Monday and its origin in the ancient festival of CompuServehain
"Cyber Monday has a storied history that stretches back to the beginning of human memory, some time in the mid-1980s.”
www.thebeaverton.com
December 1, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Historians unearth the pagan roots of Cyber Monday, reveal its origin in the ancient festival of CompuServehain
It's the most wonderful time of the year. And thanks to us, it can also be the funniest. Brand new merch just added to our store, perfect for all your satirical holiday shopping needs! Take 10% off with promo code: XMAS2025 the-beaverton.myshopify.com/collections
December 1, 2025 at 8:57 PM
It's the most wonderful time of the year. And thanks to us, it can also be the funniest. Brand new merch just added to our store, perfect for all your satirical holiday shopping needs! Take 10% off with promo code: XMAS2025 the-beaverton.myshopify.com/collections
OPINION: The AI Crash will all be worth it if I just get to lay just a few thousand people off
Opinion: The AI Crash will all be worth it if I just get to lay just a few thousand people off
by Jameson Varner, CEOI'm the CEO of a major accounting firm, and so I have my finger on the market's pulse.
www.thebeaverton.com
December 1, 2025 at 4:30 PM
OPINION: The AI Crash will all be worth it if I just get to lay just a few thousand people off
Our pretend facts are just as good as the real thing. If not better.
Time magazine quotes Canadian satirical website The Beaverton
A recent Time magazine article used a quote from Canadian satire site, the Beaverton, as a fact in reference to U.S. relationships with other countries.
www.ctvnews.ca
December 1, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Our pretend facts are just as good as the real thing. If not better.
RFK Jr. criticizes science behind seatbelts
RFK Jr. criticizes science behind seatbelts - The Beaverton
Washington, D.C. – In another upending of health rules and regulations from the new administration, secretary of health RFK Jr. has revealed the true dangers of seat belt use. “Seatbelts may be one of...
www.thebeaverton.com
November 30, 2025 at 11:57 PM
RFK Jr. criticizes science behind seatbelts
Checks out! Weird guy owns lizard
Checks out! Weird guy owns lizard
LINDSAY, ON - In an extremely foreseeable but nonetheless upsetting chain of events, 29-year-old Dan Wilson, a man who can only be described as “weird as hell”, has revealed himself to be the proud ow...
www.thebeaverton.com
November 29, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Checks out! Weird guy owns lizard
The Beaverton speaks with CBC News about how Time Magazine mistook a fake quote for real facts!
A made-up quote from the Beaverton made it into Time magazine | Hanomansing Tonight
YouTube video by CBC News
www.youtube.com
November 29, 2025 at 4:36 PM
The Beaverton speaks with CBC News about how Time Magazine mistook a fake quote for real facts!