Max Zlochiver
@maxzloch.bsky.social
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
Love to see a ratio like that
January 25, 2026 at 2:43 AM
Love to see a ratio like that
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
i am literally begging you to watch this video of Adonis in my arms making biscuits on my bathrobe
November 8, 2025 at 6:47 PM
i am literally begging you to watch this video of Adonis in my arms making biscuits on my bathrobe
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
bernadette peters is not afraid of -33F
absolutely unstoppable.
absolutely unstoppable.
January 23, 2026 at 5:43 PM
bernadette peters is not afraid of -33F
absolutely unstoppable.
absolutely unstoppable.
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
just had to chase a grinch off my lawn in fucking january. it was picking pinecones off my tree to eat. that's not a christmas decoration, dumbass. you're eating a normal january tree
January 22, 2026 at 10:32 PM
just had to chase a grinch off my lawn in fucking january. it was picking pinecones off my tree to eat. that's not a christmas decoration, dumbass. you're eating a normal january tree
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
for sale
baby shoes
never worn
BECAUSE THE BABY CAN FLY!
EVERYTHING TURNED OUT GREAT
THE END
baby shoes
never worn
BECAUSE THE BABY CAN FLY!
EVERYTHING TURNED OUT GREAT
THE END
December 16, 2025 at 6:55 PM
for sale
baby shoes
never worn
BECAUSE THE BABY CAN FLY!
EVERYTHING TURNED OUT GREAT
THE END
baby shoes
never worn
BECAUSE THE BABY CAN FLY!
EVERYTHING TURNED OUT GREAT
THE END
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
imagining an all night diner in a redwall world. little rat smoking while cooking on a flaptop. burned coffee in an acorn mug. the whole thing is inside a pumpkin
December 9, 2025 at 3:36 AM
imagining an all night diner in a redwall world. little rat smoking while cooking on a flaptop. burned coffee in an acorn mug. the whole thing is inside a pumpkin
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)
December 9, 2025 at 2:27 AM
The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot
December 8, 2025 at 9:29 AM
can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
December 5, 2025 at 9:38 PM
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
Everyone shut up Tobi has something to say.
December 4, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Everyone shut up Tobi has something to say.
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
They should do MyChart Wrapped
December 3, 2025 at 10:13 PM
They should do MyChart Wrapped
Nephew: Become Unc
December 2, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Nephew: Become Unc
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
Hard to believe that this species once roamed the tundra, the desert and the jungle, felling mighty beasts with intelligence, teamwork and guile. Now it has to look at me like this in the desperate hope of some cheese.
Mind you. She did get the cheese.
#DogsOfBluesky
Mind you. She did get the cheese.
#DogsOfBluesky
November 29, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Hard to believe that this species once roamed the tundra, the desert and the jungle, felling mighty beasts with intelligence, teamwork and guile. Now it has to look at me like this in the desperate hope of some cheese.
Mind you. She did get the cheese.
#DogsOfBluesky
Mind you. She did get the cheese.
#DogsOfBluesky
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
"oh, don't forget to highlight, in bright red, the two-letter word in the tagline! the two letter word that's kind of the whole point of this clever ad campaign! the two letter word that links this show to the horror movie of the same name!"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
November 29, 2025 at 8:51 PM
"oh, don't forget to highlight, in bright red, the two-letter word in the tagline! the two letter word that's kind of the whole point of this clever ad campaign! the two letter word that links this show to the horror movie of the same name!"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
he wants so badly to go bite Mr Cait until he wakes up and gives him breakfast 5 hours early, but he knows i'll pick him up and move him somewhere else so he's just staring at me like this
August 4, 2025 at 5:00 AM
he wants so badly to go bite Mr Cait until he wakes up and gives him breakfast 5 hours early, but he knows i'll pick him up and move him somewhere else so he's just staring at me like this
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
the sleepiest sausage
November 25, 2025 at 8:33 PM
the sleepiest sausage
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
I love no otter but u🫶
November 17, 2025 at 1:21 PM
I love no otter but u🫶
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
Report: Oyster Cracker–Wise, Nation Doing Pretty Good https://theonion.com/report-oyster-cracker-wise-nation-doing-pretty-good-1819578214/
November 16, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Report: Oyster Cracker–Wise, Nation Doing Pretty Good https://theonion.com/report-oyster-cracker-wise-nation-doing-pretty-good-1819578214/
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
before and after of me telling Cowboy it’s going to rain for the next six days
November 14, 2025 at 7:49 PM
before and after of me telling Cowboy it’s going to rain for the next six days
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
cone of shame vs cone of delight
November 7, 2025 at 10:52 AM
cone of shame vs cone of delight
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
goddammit i have to work late in the lab tonight
October 31, 2025 at 1:33 PM
goddammit i have to work late in the lab tonight
Reposted by Max Zlochiver
