dr. hazel 🐇
@hazelmonforton.com
senior writer and narrative designer 🎮📝 open to work!
previously Blizzard 💛⚔️ Bungie 💙💫 and Arkane 🧡🐀
personal account 🍞🌹 20th century lit phd 🎓🗡
she/her 🌑✨
nyc 🍕🐁 to atx 🌻🦇
previously Blizzard 💛⚔️ Bungie 💙💫 and Arkane 🧡🐀
personal account 🍞🌹 20th century lit phd 🎓🗡
she/her 🌑✨
nyc 🍕🐁 to atx 🌻🦇
Pinned
dr. hazel 🐇
@hazelmonforton.com
· Sep 30
Hazel Monforton
www.hazelmonforton.com
Hello new followers! I'm Hazel.
🐔 Chicken keeper 🐕 Tripod dog owner 📃 Writer 🎮 Senior Narrative Designer 🍞 Baker ⛪️ Amateur medievalist 🌱 Gardener 🧶 Knitter 🎓 PhD in English lit
Previously: 💛⚔️ Blizzard 💙💫 Bungie 🧡🐀 Arkane
Looking for my next role!
Find my work on my website: www.hazelmonforton.com
🐔 Chicken keeper 🐕 Tripod dog owner 📃 Writer 🎮 Senior Narrative Designer 🍞 Baker ⛪️ Amateur medievalist 🌱 Gardener 🧶 Knitter 🎓 PhD in English lit
Previously: 💛⚔️ Blizzard 💙💫 Bungie 🧡🐀 Arkane
Looking for my next role!
Find my work on my website: www.hazelmonforton.com
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
“They finally kissed in Renegades” FALSE they have been making out sloppy style in the High Heresy since April 2025.
December 4, 2025 at 2:46 PM
“They finally kissed in Renegades” FALSE they have been making out sloppy style in the High Heresy since April 2025.
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Frankly I think it’s unfair that Hazel is the one getting all this heat because I’m the one who has written Warhammer porn already.
If someone stopped me in the street, put a mic in my face and asked me of all the people I know, who would I deem most likely to fixate on the king of the murder orgy elves, I would say with all my heart and with my mouth too close to the mic "Hazel Monforton"
December 6, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Frankly I think it’s unfair that Hazel is the one getting all this heat because I’m the one who has written Warhammer porn already.
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Sick of my bullshit.
December 5, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Sick of my bullshit.
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Took a video of Junie having a tantrum and I don't think she's ever given me a dirtier look than this.
December 5, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Took a video of Junie having a tantrum and I don't think she's ever given me a dirtier look than this.
I kept saying “thinking about getting into spheres” and I finally got some spheres.
December 5, 2025 at 11:54 PM
I kept saying “thinking about getting into spheres” and I finally got some spheres.
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Layoffs have hit over 1.1M so far this year — the most since the pandemic.
Yet corporate profits continue to hit record highs, with corporations increasingly spending those earnings on stock buybacks to enrich execs and shareholders.
This is what a rigged economy looks like.
Yet corporate profits continue to hit record highs, with corporations increasingly spending those earnings on stock buybacks to enrich execs and shareholders.
This is what a rigged economy looks like.
December 5, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Layoffs have hit over 1.1M so far this year — the most since the pandemic.
Yet corporate profits continue to hit record highs, with corporations increasingly spending those earnings on stock buybacks to enrich execs and shareholders.
This is what a rigged economy looks like.
Yet corporate profits continue to hit record highs, with corporations increasingly spending those earnings on stock buybacks to enrich execs and shareholders.
This is what a rigged economy looks like.
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Also USPS didn't loss money because it doesn't make money because it's not a business and if never makes money to begin with.
It did however deliver over 112.5 billion pieces of mail in 2024 and that doesn't even include packages.
It did however deliver over 112.5 billion pieces of mail in 2024 and that doesn't even include packages.
The USPS posting a NINE BILLION DOLLAR LOSS!!! sounds terrible. Certainly worse than if you said "USPS costs thirty dollars per person per year" even though that means the same thing and more accurately describes a government service
December 5, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Also USPS didn't loss money because it doesn't make money because it's not a business and if never makes money to begin with.
It did however deliver over 112.5 billion pieces of mail in 2024 and that doesn't even include packages.
It did however deliver over 112.5 billion pieces of mail in 2024 and that doesn't even include packages.
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Remembering my mom’s insane Basquiat lore.
Throwback to when Jean-Michel Basquiat wrote down my mom's phone number in one of his notebooks and then 30 years later it was displayed in the Brooklyn Museum.
November 26, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Remembering my mom’s insane Basquiat lore.
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
If I ever get to a point where I'm constantly relitigating the same sophomoric philosophical questions that obsessed and animated me in my early career, yelling into the void as the world moves on, birthing countless new delights which I am simply too withered to enjoy... just drop an anvil on me
December 5, 2025 at 8:55 PM
If I ever get to a point where I'm constantly relitigating the same sophomoric philosophical questions that obsessed and animated me in my early career, yelling into the void as the world moves on, birthing countless new delights which I am simply too withered to enjoy... just drop an anvil on me
Took a video of Junie having a tantrum and I don't think she's ever given me a dirtier look than this.
December 5, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Took a video of Junie having a tantrum and I don't think she's ever given me a dirtier look than this.
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Me: I don't think those two posts are irreconcilable.
Chotiner: You couched earlier posts on Asdrubael Vect's mini as part of a pattern of criticism.
Me: Within broader player discussions. I'm not the first to comment on--
Chotiner: Your words were 'boobiness levels.'
Chotiner: You couched earlier posts on Asdrubael Vect's mini as part of a pattern of criticism.
Me: Within broader player discussions. I'm not the first to comment on--
Chotiner: Your words were 'boobiness levels.'
December 5, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Me: I don't think those two posts are irreconcilable.
Chotiner: You couched earlier posts on Asdrubael Vect's mini as part of a pattern of criticism.
Me: Within broader player discussions. I'm not the first to comment on--
Chotiner: Your words were 'boobiness levels.'
Chotiner: You couched earlier posts on Asdrubael Vect's mini as part of a pattern of criticism.
Me: Within broader player discussions. I'm not the first to comment on--
Chotiner: Your words were 'boobiness levels.'
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Issac Chotiner: So it wasn't you that posted a meme requesting access to the Black Library because, quote, "I am NOT normal and can be trusted with cenobite elves" end quote.
December 5, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Issac Chotiner: So it wasn't you that posted a meme requesting access to the Black Library because, quote, "I am NOT normal and can be trusted with cenobite elves" end quote.
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
if someone sends me a caked-up Vect mousepad I will post an unboxing video and I will cry the entire time
Either way, GW is going to be charging a lot for that mousepad
December 5, 2025 at 7:19 PM
if someone sends me a caked-up Vect mousepad I will post an unboxing video and I will cry the entire time
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
ian bogost getting the timeline riled up by ludocentrism posting….. i will sleep soundly in my bed tonight because obama is president and idle thumbs still puts out episodes weekly and i’ve got uni in the morning for it is 2015
December 5, 2025 at 6:29 PM
ian bogost getting the timeline riled up by ludocentrism posting….. i will sleep soundly in my bed tonight because obama is president and idle thumbs still puts out episodes weekly and i’ve got uni in the morning for it is 2015
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
I received an "F" on my dental school paper for writing "the tooth fairy takes 'em while you sleep" and now I'm suing the school for religious discrimination
December 1, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I received an "F" on my dental school paper for writing "the tooth fairy takes 'em while you sleep" and now I'm suing the school for religious discrimination
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
It’s not my fault
If someone stopped me in the street, put a mic in my face and asked me of all the people I know, who would I deem most likely to fixate on the king of the murder orgy elves, I would say with all my heart and with my mouth too close to the mic "Hazel Monforton"
November 19, 2025 at 2:07 PM
It’s not my fault
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
Finally a good use for AI: making life more difficult for Harry Potter fans
Some very confused Harry Potter-bound tourists on the train who had been informed by their AI of choice to take a Thameslink from Farringdon to Watford Junction.
December 5, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Finally a good use for AI: making life more difficult for Harry Potter fans
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
the thing about online queer discourse is unless you dig into things it's hard to tell if someone is speaking from a place of nuance and decades of lived experience or whether you're reading the untested absolutes of the most 15-year-old alive
December 5, 2025 at 5:35 PM
the thing about online queer discourse is unless you dig into things it's hard to tell if someone is speaking from a place of nuance and decades of lived experience or whether you're reading the untested absolutes of the most 15-year-old alive
if over 300,000 pedestrian deaths globally every year is the price we pay for one of the most environmentally damaging and civically destructive technologies in the world, well then,
December 5, 2025 at 4:40 PM
if over 300,000 pedestrian deaths globally every year is the price we pay for one of the most environmentally damaging and civically destructive technologies in the world, well then,
what is happening
December 5, 2025 at 4:31 PM
what is happening
Reposted by dr. hazel 🐇
tried to sketch my new favorite person :3
December 5, 2025 at 3:29 PM
tried to sketch my new favorite person :3