jordan
@jordangerous.bsky.social
Pinned
jordan
@jordangerous.bsky.social
· Oct 19
Person: So, how would you describe yourself?
Me: Verbally, I guess.
Me: Verbally, I guess.
Live
Laugh
Launch them to the moon on a rocket fueled by your rage
Laugh
Launch them to the moon on a rocket fueled by your rage
November 21, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Live
Laugh
Launch them to the moon on a rocket fueled by your rage
Laugh
Launch them to the moon on a rocket fueled by your rage
Reposted by jordan
I never know how long to rest in between workouts…
It’s about six months, isn’t it?
It’s about six months, isn’t it?
November 21, 2025 at 12:22 PM
I never know how long to rest in between workouts…
It’s about six months, isn’t it?
It’s about six months, isn’t it?
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to mog my coworkers in every teams meeting and generally unsettle everyone with my Slavic stare.
November 21, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to mog my coworkers in every teams meeting and generally unsettle everyone with my Slavic stare.
Reposted by jordan
I don't believe in arguments. I'm right, and they're just saying things.
November 21, 2025 at 2:40 PM
I don't believe in arguments. I'm right, and they're just saying things.
Reposted by jordan
i wish the abyss would stop calling me mother
November 21, 2025 at 2:46 PM
i wish the abyss would stop calling me mother
Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s nurture. We’re not a hundred percent certain.
November 21, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s nurture. We’re not a hundred percent certain.
Sometimes smutty books say dumb shit like “heat pooled between my folds”
Ma’am, that’s a yeast infection
Ma’am, that’s a yeast infection
November 20, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Sometimes smutty books say dumb shit like “heat pooled between my folds”
Ma’am, that’s a yeast infection
Ma’am, that’s a yeast infection
My favorite metaphor for genitalia is “the good china”.
November 20, 2025 at 3:17 AM
My favorite metaphor for genitalia is “the good china”.
Reposted by jordan
Let the HOA know I’ll see them in court
November 19, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Let the HOA know I’ll see them in court
Idk why, but the guy at Starbucks looked at me weird when I asked what kind of dog they put in their pup cups.
November 19, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Idk why, but the guy at Starbucks looked at me weird when I asked what kind of dog they put in their pup cups.
Reposted by jordan
I don’t run very often but when I do it’s roughshod.
November 18, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I don’t run very often but when I do it’s roughshod.
They’re a 10, but they have uppercase gums and lowercase teeth
November 19, 2025 at 3:09 AM
They’re a 10, but they have uppercase gums and lowercase teeth
The Dyson air wrap is only $499 at Costco if anybody wants to be my Santa :)
November 18, 2025 at 10:22 PM
The Dyson air wrap is only $499 at Costco if anybody wants to be my Santa :)
Reposted by jordan
Look a dude can either lay the pipe or he can have his shit together. I don’t make the rules.
November 16, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Look a dude can either lay the pipe or he can have his shit together. I don’t make the rules.
Reposted by jordan
everything everywhere all at once
— my boobs when i take off my bra
— my boobs when i take off my bra
November 18, 2025 at 1:48 PM
everything everywhere all at once
— my boobs when i take off my bra
— my boobs when i take off my bra
Reposted by jordan
When the waitress says "enjoy your meal" and you accidentally say " I love you too, milk mommy"
November 18, 2025 at 3:09 PM
When the waitress says "enjoy your meal" and you accidentally say " I love you too, milk mommy"
Reposted by jordan
if god is dead then who keeps smiting me
November 18, 2025 at 3:15 PM
if god is dead then who keeps smiting me
Reposted by jordan
my nudes? sure, you want them faxed or mailed on a 5 1/4 floppy?
May 3, 2025 at 9:08 PM
my nudes? sure, you want them faxed or mailed on a 5 1/4 floppy?
MTG being a Trump opp is funny but please don’t be fooled. She’s not suddenly a decent person. She’s just reading the writing in the wall and is the first rat to jump a ship no decent soul should have ever been on in the first place.
November 17, 2025 at 2:36 PM
MTG being a Trump opp is funny but please don’t be fooled. She’s not suddenly a decent person. She’s just reading the writing in the wall and is the first rat to jump a ship no decent soul should have ever been on in the first place.
My favorite holiday tradition is probably the work gift exchange where we all play a game passing around $25 bullshit gifts that nobody wants or will ever use.
November 16, 2025 at 5:56 PM
My favorite holiday tradition is probably the work gift exchange where we all play a game passing around $25 bullshit gifts that nobody wants or will ever use.
Reposted by jordan
i'm a reply guy at heart.
no really, i eviscerated one and took their heart as mine
no really, i eviscerated one and took their heart as mine
November 16, 2025 at 5:27 PM
i'm a reply guy at heart.
no really, i eviscerated one and took their heart as mine
no really, i eviscerated one and took their heart as mine
Reposted by jordan
Woke up and chose passive-aggressive. Maybe I can explain that to you when you find the time
November 16, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Woke up and chose passive-aggressive. Maybe I can explain that to you when you find the time
Trying out a smiling avi, be cool.
November 16, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Trying out a smiling avi, be cool.
Reposted by jordan
I’d like to remove the phone app from my phone.
November 16, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I’d like to remove the phone app from my phone.
Reposted by jordan
pony: is this your card?
me: yes! cool trick!
pony: thanks
me: can you do any others?
pony: *sighs* no
me: yes! cool trick!
pony: thanks
me: can you do any others?
pony: *sighs* no
November 16, 2025 at 2:13 AM
pony: is this your card?
me: yes! cool trick!
pony: thanks
me: can you do any others?
pony: *sighs* no
me: yes! cool trick!
pony: thanks
me: can you do any others?
pony: *sighs* no