Reposted by Dave
Reposted by Dave
me: [throwing open blinds] you there! boy! what day is it today?
street urchin: why, it’s Christmas Day sir!
me: oh, wonderful! that means it’s not too late for BOFA
street urchin: what’s-
shopkeeper: listen, kid. he does this every day
street urchin: why, it’s Christmas Day sir!
me: oh, wonderful! that means it’s not too late for BOFA
street urchin: what’s-
shopkeeper: listen, kid. he does this every day
December 26, 2025 at 8:53 PM
me: [throwing open blinds] you there! boy! what day is it today?
street urchin: why, it’s Christmas Day sir!
me: oh, wonderful! that means it’s not too late for BOFA
street urchin: what’s-
shopkeeper: listen, kid. he does this every day
street urchin: why, it’s Christmas Day sir!
me: oh, wonderful! that means it’s not too late for BOFA
street urchin: what’s-
shopkeeper: listen, kid. he does this every day
Reposted by Dave
Reposted by Dave
Reposted by Dave
best ending of all time, let's be real
November 6, 2025 at 10:17 PM
best ending of all time, let's be real
Reposted by Dave
We'll never know for certain, but I for one feel confident that tonight would have turned out differently if Cuomo had had the courage and foresight to hire Brendel
Day 77 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo
November 5, 2025 at 3:24 AM
We'll never know for certain, but I for one feel confident that tonight would have turned out differently if Cuomo had had the courage and foresight to hire Brendel
Reposted by Dave
Getting hit in the chest from point blank range with a footlong sub and an enormous Peckinpah-style squib of sweet onion teriyaki sauce explodes from my chest.
It's not in this article but the government asserts that the sandwich was thrown at "point blank range", which implies subway sandwiches have defined effective weapon ranges of varying lethality, and I would like to see the government's chart of these ranges.
Trial Begins for Man Accused of Lobbing a Sandwich at a Federal Agent www.nytimes.com/2025/11/03/u...
November 4, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Getting hit in the chest from point blank range with a footlong sub and an enormous Peckinpah-style squib of sweet onion teriyaki sauce explodes from my chest.
Reposted by Dave
i understand that dr. zack isn’t for everybody and that if you’re a longtime football fan, you don’t get a lot out of his segments. but they’re a great way for casual fans and newcomers to learn football concepts like the alphabet
October 22, 2025 at 2:03 AM
i understand that dr. zack isn’t for everybody and that if you’re a longtime football fan, you don’t get a lot out of his segments. but they’re a great way for casual fans and newcomers to learn football concepts like the alphabet
Reposted by Dave
rest assured, this will be the third time Tron has failed to become a franchise, and we've become exceedingly efficient at it
October 21, 2025 at 11:35 AM
rest assured, this will be the third time Tron has failed to become a franchise, and we've become exceedingly efficient at it
Reposted by Dave
sling us some schlong your the penis man, sling us some schlong tonight, well, we're all in the mood for you sexually, and you've got our holes feeling right
October 20, 2025 at 10:42 PM
sling us some schlong your the penis man, sling us some schlong tonight, well, we're all in the mood for you sexually, and you've got our holes feeling right
Reposted by Dave
This meme made me laugh.
October 16, 2025 at 1:08 AM
This meme made me laugh.
Reposted by Dave
Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
October 14, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
Reposted by Dave
living más in sam altman's masturbatorium
October 15, 2025 at 3:05 AM
living más in sam altman's masturbatorium
Reposted by Dave
Reposted by Dave
Reposted by Dave
the physics of this are so funny because the right guard stepping on his foot leads to him looking like uncle phil just threw him out the front door of the mansion
Look at this body position, Trevor Lawrence ate shit as hard as you could, he’s a hippo in wool socks on a waxed floor, he hit the turf going 300 miles per hour
October 7, 2025 at 3:31 AM
the physics of this are so funny because the right guard stepping on his foot leads to him looking like uncle phil just threw him out the front door of the mansion
Reposted by Dave
Reposted by Dave
this is the face of a man who stopped masturbating thanks to kellogg’s corn flakes
October 7, 2025 at 2:06 AM
this is the face of a man who stopped masturbating thanks to kellogg’s corn flakes
Reposted by Dave
CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.
ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't
CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.
ISILDUR: true
ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't
CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.
ISILDUR: true
October 6, 2025 at 1:58 PM
CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.
ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't
CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.
ISILDUR: true
ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't
CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.
ISILDUR: true
Reposted by Dave
So Hulk Hogan, why are you a great candidate for the Administrative Assistant position?
Hulk Hogan:
Hulk Hogan:
October 6, 2025 at 3:16 PM
So Hulk Hogan, why are you a great candidate for the Administrative Assistant position?
Hulk Hogan:
Hulk Hogan:
Reposted by Dave
Rhamondre Leavensome Points Out There
October 6, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Rhamondre Leavensome Points Out There
Reposted by Dave
Watch this Titans TD, TRUST ME. You cannot predict ball.
October 5, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Watch this Titans TD, TRUST ME. You cannot predict ball.
Reposted by Dave
Tennessee Titans football
October 5, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Tennessee Titans football
Reposted by Dave
You scored a touchdown
On my ovaries
They all called you a clown
But I’m all over it (your cock)
-Taylor Swift, The Life of a Showgirl
On my ovaries
They all called you a clown
But I’m all over it (your cock)
-Taylor Swift, The Life of a Showgirl
October 4, 2025 at 2:27 AM
You scored a touchdown
On my ovaries
They all called you a clown
But I’m all over it (your cock)
-Taylor Swift, The Life of a Showgirl
On my ovaries
They all called you a clown
But I’m all over it (your cock)
-Taylor Swift, The Life of a Showgirl
Reposted by Dave
you take the blue pill, your baby is normal, gets an average brain, lives an unremarkable life. you take the red pill, and we see just how many episode titles of obscure 2000s television shows your child can recite from memory
September 24, 2025 at 10:06 PM
you take the blue pill, your baby is normal, gets an average brain, lives an unremarkable life. you take the red pill, and we see just how many episode titles of obscure 2000s television shows your child can recite from memory