Carl
@cellocgw.bsky.social
Cellist, saxophonist, 3D print hobbyist, very unstable genius🤪, R-evangelist, just this guy, you know?
Ever woken up & yr mouth feels like a diseased animal walked into it, vomited, farted, and died there?
Like Jimi said, "Well, I have."
Like Jimi said, "Well, I have."
February 4, 2026 at 2:18 PM
Ever woken up & yr mouth feels like a diseased animal walked into it, vomited, farted, and died there?
Like Jimi said, "Well, I have."
Like Jimi said, "Well, I have."
Reposted by Carl
My pool boy.
Alt text: video of a large male grackle, sitting on the chlorine skimmer picking bugs off of the pool cleaner hose in the pool.
Alt text: video of a large male grackle, sitting on the chlorine skimmer picking bugs off of the pool cleaner hose in the pool.
February 3, 2026 at 5:27 PM
My pool boy.
Alt text: video of a large male grackle, sitting on the chlorine skimmer picking bugs off of the pool cleaner hose in the pool.
Alt text: video of a large male grackle, sitting on the chlorine skimmer picking bugs off of the pool cleaner hose in the pool.
Reposted by Carl
Real anarchy [complimentary] in Minnesota. Honestly, both coasts owe this state such an apology.
This is Minneapolis:
We’re out to breakfast @ our favorite restaurant, now called Post-Modern Times.
They’ve moved to free/donation based so taxes aren’t going to the fed govt during this occupation.
Another customer leaves & says goodbye to their friends, “te amo, te amo, chingra la migra!”
We’re out to breakfast @ our favorite restaurant, now called Post-Modern Times.
They’ve moved to free/donation based so taxes aren’t going to the fed govt during this occupation.
Another customer leaves & says goodbye to their friends, “te amo, te amo, chingra la migra!”
February 1, 2026 at 6:27 PM
Real anarchy [complimentary] in Minnesota. Honestly, both coasts owe this state such an apology.
I felt a great disturbance in The Force, as though a million people just opened their heating bill.
February 1, 2026 at 4:54 PM
I felt a great disturbance in The Force, as though a million people just opened their heating bill.
Reposted by Carl
It's been fun seeing The Consultants lose their mind about how they don't get this ad, which is the coolest shit she's done yet.
(Also, yes, that's Matt Mercer, who I've come to learn since this ad dropped is more famous than Michael Jordan.)
(Also, yes, that's Matt Mercer, who I've come to learn since this ad dropped is more famous than Michael Jordan.)
January 31, 2026 at 5:15 PM
It's been fun seeing The Consultants lose their mind about how they don't get this ad, which is the coolest shit she's done yet.
(Also, yes, that's Matt Mercer, who I've come to learn since this ad dropped is more famous than Michael Jordan.)
(Also, yes, that's Matt Mercer, who I've come to learn since this ad dropped is more famous than Michael Jordan.)
OMG gross
Runs With Scissors is probably better than the reverse
January 31, 2026 at 12:36 PM
OMG gross
Reposted by Carl
This is one of my favorite charts because the obvious implication is ... obvious, but you absolutely are not allowed to say it out loud in US public discourse.
January 27, 2026 at 6:41 AM
This is one of my favorite charts because the obvious implication is ... obvious, but you absolutely are not allowed to say it out loud in US public discourse.
This account is one of the top satirists right now
The ayatollahs have embarrassed the President by executing more Iranian civilians than we have executed American civilians.
by Pete Hegseth
by Pete Hegseth
January 26, 2026 at 12:36 PM
This account is one of the top satirists right now
Reposted by Carl
Someone in my household has brought cookies, hermits, TWO cartons of ice cream, AND cinnamon rolls into the house. It's their fault I'll be living on sugar. ( I live alone)
January 20, 2026 at 2:47 PM
Someone in my household has brought cookies, hermits, TWO cartons of ice cream, AND cinnamon rolls into the house. It's their fault I'll be living on sugar. ( I live alone)
Booboo, the "hot young lonely girl" bot accounts are out in full force!
January 19, 2026 at 12:17 AM
Booboo, the "hot young lonely girl" bot accounts are out in full force!
This
getting out of bed this morning felt like when you spill syrup on the counter and it slowly gloops off onto the floor
January 14, 2026 at 1:01 PM
This
Reposted by Carl
Me: I know Tristan is equal to 3 Stans, but how many Stans is Preston equal to? Is it 4?
Bank Teller: I honestly wish you were just here to rob us.
Bank Teller: I honestly wish you were just here to rob us.
January 12, 2026 at 3:08 AM
Me: I know Tristan is equal to 3 Stans, but how many Stans is Preston equal to? Is it 4?
Bank Teller: I honestly wish you were just here to rob us.
Bank Teller: I honestly wish you were just here to rob us.
Here's a bunch of love
Even wat tijdlijn cleanen hoor 🥰
Istanbul hosts a sizeable feral cat (Turkish: sokak kedisi, "street cat")Many Turkish citizens view street animals as communally owned pets rather than traditional strays, and the country has a blanket no-kill, no-capture policy
youtube.com/shorts/S9jTB...
Istanbul hosts a sizeable feral cat (Turkish: sokak kedisi, "street cat")Many Turkish citizens view street animals as communally owned pets rather than traditional strays, and the country has a blanket no-kill, no-capture policy
youtube.com/shorts/S9jTB...
January 12, 2026 at 1:00 PM
Here's a bunch of love
Reposted by Carl
I saved this to show to my kids when they got home and my daughter said, "I'm crying but this is me when I see a spider in my room fr"
January 9, 2026 at 11:44 PM
I saved this to show to my kids when they got home and my daughter said, "I'm crying but this is me when I see a spider in my room fr"
Look out -- Dad Joke
If Cruella Deville was a doctor, do you think she'd have made a lab coat?
January 6, 2026 at 12:46 PM
Look out -- Dad Joke
We have baseball, how come no acidball?
January 4, 2026 at 1:08 PM
We have baseball, how come no acidball?
And I have become, comfortably numb
January 3, 2026 at 10:22 PM
And I have become, comfortably numb
Two liars and a new guy who tells the truth
Reagan, 1981: “In the present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem.”
Clinton, 1996: “I say again, the era of big government is over. But we cannot go back to the era of fending for yourself.”
Mamdani, 2026:
Clinton, 1996: “I say again, the era of big government is over. But we cannot go back to the era of fending for yourself.”
Mamdani, 2026:
January 2, 2026 at 12:44 PM
Two liars and a new guy who tells the truth
Since there's a spot in yr home with the unimaginative name"fireplace," I now declare the kitchen sink shall henceforth be known as the "waterplace."
January 1, 2026 at 12:22 PM
Since there's a spot in yr home with the unimaginative name"fireplace," I now declare the kitchen sink shall henceforth be known as the "waterplace."
Not gonna be there until we get nuked, conquered, and most of us die.
so when you jump out of an airplane you fall and you fall, faster and faster, until you reach terminal velocity and you can't fall any faster. and like.. can there please be a terminal velocity for how fucked up this country is? how are we not there yet.
December 31, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Not gonna be there until we get nuked, conquered, and most of us die.
Reposted by Carl
if you’re hot, they’re hot. put them outside
December 31, 2025 at 12:32 PM
if you’re hot, they’re hot. put them outside