Edna Watkins
@theednawatkins.bsky.social
Pinned
In this thread I describe photoshops I have in my head but haven't made (yet) for various reasons
Reposted by Edna Watkins
If I die tonight I want you to know I love you all and I regret mostly none of it
November 27, 2025 at 8:41 PM
If I die tonight I want you to know I love you all and I regret mostly none of it
November 27, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Guys guess what
November 27, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Guys guess what
I did a perfect turd earlier,smooth, firm, easily wiped, the tip entered the water before it broke off at the knot meaning it had less splash than an Olympic high dive .
Just pure poetry in motion
Just pure poetry in motion
tmi doesn't exist to me. I love information
November 27, 2025 at 4:33 PM
I did a perfect turd earlier,smooth, firm, easily wiped, the tip entered the water before it broke off at the knot meaning it had less splash than an Olympic high dive .
Just pure poetry in motion
Just pure poetry in motion
Linda Lusardi
18. What is something that has aged really well?
November 27, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Linda Lusardi
How much it upsets my wife
15. What do you hate about dating?
November 27, 2025 at 3:48 PM
How much it upsets my wife
Wanking
7. What's something that isn't therapy, but feels like therapy?
November 27, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Wanking
Imagine one day you're just walking round, carrying your duck and people were all like
What are you doing?
Just put it down!
And they didn’t understand that it's YOUR duck and and you can only put it down when you're good and ready to and what if you think you like carrying the duck around?
What are you doing?
Just put it down!
And they didn’t understand that it's YOUR duck and and you can only put it down when you're good and ready to and what if you think you like carrying the duck around?
November 27, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Imagine one day you're just walking round, carrying your duck and people were all like
What are you doing?
Just put it down!
And they didn’t understand that it's YOUR duck and and you can only put it down when you're good and ready to and what if you think you like carrying the duck around?
What are you doing?
Just put it down!
And they didn’t understand that it's YOUR duck and and you can only put it down when you're good and ready to and what if you think you like carrying the duck around?
November 27, 2025 at 2:53 PM
My Uncle used to say the problem with Lil (my cousin) was that she had a five inch arsehole and the house only had four inch pipes
Think about the first plumber who had to figure out, possibly through trial and error, what pipe diameter is optimal for human shit
November 27, 2025 at 2:37 PM
My Uncle used to say the problem with Lil (my cousin) was that she had a five inch arsehole and the house only had four inch pipes
When you've done the hoovering and the missus asks what you're after
November 27, 2025 at 12:33 PM
When you've done the hoovering and the missus asks what you're after
This could be what gets me into the footballing
Shoutout to that one Newcastle fan who over the course of one day was filmed shitfaced dancing in the middle of Marseille during the afternoon, being sucked off by some goth lass in the away end toilets during the game and then fighting with Marseille's riot police after.
Some day out.
Some day out.
November 27, 2025 at 12:01 PM
This could be what gets me into the footballing
ALL tits have a base rating of 10/10 as they are all perfect to start with.
You can only lose points, judges decisions are final
You can only lose points, judges decisions are final
Ooh thank goodness for that I was terrified it was going to be the same shitshow as the utilities privatisations.
November 27, 2025 at 11:44 AM
ALL tits have a base rating of 10/10 as they are all perfect to start with.
You can only lose points, judges decisions are final
You can only lose points, judges decisions are final
Rear or the year < Queen of the tits
More controversial than ‘Rear of the Year’ 😆
November 27, 2025 at 11:22 AM
Rear or the year < Queen of the tits
*IMPORTANT POST ANNOUNCEMENT*
Myself and @terryleopard.bsky.social want to launch an International Day Of Tits
We need help deciding who has the best tits and then they will be declared The Queen Of Tits and their birthday shall be marked as the glorious day.
Myself and @terryleopard.bsky.social want to launch an International Day Of Tits
We need help deciding who has the best tits and then they will be declared The Queen Of Tits and their birthday shall be marked as the glorious day.
November 27, 2025 at 10:46 AM
*IMPORTANT POST ANNOUNCEMENT*
Myself and @terryleopard.bsky.social want to launch an International Day Of Tits
We need help deciding who has the best tits and then they will be declared The Queen Of Tits and their birthday shall be marked as the glorious day.
Myself and @terryleopard.bsky.social want to launch an International Day Of Tits
We need help deciding who has the best tits and then they will be declared The Queen Of Tits and their birthday shall be marked as the glorious day.
As it's Let's Kill These Fucking Indians Day here is a list of things I'm thankful for.
November 27, 2025 at 10:26 AM
As it's Let's Kill These Fucking Indians Day here is a list of things I'm thankful for.
Reposted by Edna Watkins
DATE: Aren’t you the guy who tells ridiculous lies to try and impress people
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
November 26, 2025 at 6:54 PM
DATE: Aren’t you the guy who tells ridiculous lies to try and impress people
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
One of the best dumb ideas I never actually attempted was an Off Off Fringe show during August ... in Walsall
November 27, 2025 at 9:59 AM
One of the best dumb ideas I never actually attempted was an Off Off Fringe show during August ... in Walsall
* The invention of Christmas a one act play by Edna Watkins aged 46*
Person 1: Our lord and saviour has been born! We need to mark this tremendous occasion!
Person 2(a genius): Tree in the house
P1: What?
P2: TREE IN THE HOUSE
P1: What? No, that's crazy
P2: Make it look pretty... eat turkey
Person 1: Our lord and saviour has been born! We need to mark this tremendous occasion!
Person 2(a genius): Tree in the house
P1: What?
P2: TREE IN THE HOUSE
P1: What? No, that's crazy
P2: Make it look pretty... eat turkey
November 27, 2025 at 9:36 AM
* The invention of Christmas a one act play by Edna Watkins aged 46*
Person 1: Our lord and saviour has been born! We need to mark this tremendous occasion!
Person 2(a genius): Tree in the house
P1: What?
P2: TREE IN THE HOUSE
P1: What? No, that's crazy
P2: Make it look pretty... eat turkey
Person 1: Our lord and saviour has been born! We need to mark this tremendous occasion!
Person 2(a genius): Tree in the house
P1: What?
P2: TREE IN THE HOUSE
P1: What? No, that's crazy
P2: Make it look pretty... eat turkey
Richard Gere has upped his game
November 27, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Richard Gere has upped his game
Look imma level with you folks I'm WFH and on an early finish and I'm going to make it a problem
November 27, 2025 at 8:38 AM
Look imma level with you folks I'm WFH and on an early finish and I'm going to make it a problem
It me!
You can't get sent to hell twice, so I'm very much in an "In for a penny" state of mind
November 27, 2025 at 8:33 AM
It me!
My sister used to be afeared of Santa Claus so he HAD to leave our presents in sacks at the bottom of the stairs
I'm sure that this wasn't a seed sown by my unscrupulous Father at all...
I'm sure that this wasn't a seed sown by my unscrupulous Father at all...
Why am I not surprised given he breaks into every kid in the world's bedroom annually?
November 27, 2025 at 8:21 AM
My sister used to be afeared of Santa Claus so he HAD to leave our presents in sacks at the bottom of the stairs
I'm sure that this wasn't a seed sown by my unscrupulous Father at all...
I'm sure that this wasn't a seed sown by my unscrupulous Father at all...
Reposted by Edna Watkins
Urm, isn't Budgie the helicopter Sarah Ferguson's creation? Like, cancelled Jeffrey Epstein debtor & nonce defender Fergie?
November 27, 2025 at 8:11 AM
Urm, isn't Budgie the helicopter Sarah Ferguson's creation? Like, cancelled Jeffrey Epstein debtor & nonce defender Fergie?