Simon
@ellisuk.com
Moments of outstanding brightness followed by periods of quiet contemplation / anxiety / dullness. If you're a bigot, nazi or general shitehawk of a human being you will be blocked. Otherwise let's see what's out there. Also remember fix your heart or die.
Reposted by Simon
Hey all,
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
Fellowship
theonion.com
December 3, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Hey all,
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
Reposted by Simon
These are my bestselling prints right now
Personalised Record Player
Forton Services
Stylus
Read More Books
All designed here in Manchester and printed in the UK.
There’s still time to order for Christmas www.gailmyerscough.co.uk
Personalised Record Player
Forton Services
Stylus
Read More Books
All designed here in Manchester and printed in the UK.
There’s still time to order for Christmas www.gailmyerscough.co.uk
December 3, 2025 at 7:51 PM
These are my bestselling prints right now
Personalised Record Player
Forton Services
Stylus
Read More Books
All designed here in Manchester and printed in the UK.
There’s still time to order for Christmas www.gailmyerscough.co.uk
Personalised Record Player
Forton Services
Stylus
Read More Books
All designed here in Manchester and printed in the UK.
There’s still time to order for Christmas www.gailmyerscough.co.uk
WHAT IN THE NAME OF ARSE ARE THEY DOING!
Micron Announces Exit from Crucial Consumer Business investors.micron.com/news-release...
December 3, 2025 at 6:45 PM
WHAT IN THE NAME OF ARSE ARE THEY DOING!
Reposted by Simon
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me: three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. Ate them. Ooh la la.
December 3, 2025 at 9:25 AM
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me: three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. Ate them. Ooh la la.
Reposted by Simon
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. Ate them.
December 2, 2025 at 9:01 AM
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. Ate them.
Reposted by Simon
A Christmas hero is born...
December 3, 2025 at 2:38 PM
A Christmas hero is born...
Reposted by Simon
You can pry my triple shot macchiato with 5 syrup pumps and pumpkin spice foam from my cold, dead hands (because it killed me)
November 30, 2025 at 5:22 PM
You can pry my triple shot macchiato with 5 syrup pumps and pumpkin spice foam from my cold, dead hands (because it killed me)
Reposted by Simon
Pete Hegseth Wakes Up At 3 P.M. With Dozen Missed Calls From The Hague
theonion.com
December 2, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Reposted by Simon
i’m sorry for eating popping candy while you broke up with me
December 2, 2025 at 7:17 PM
i’m sorry for eating popping candy while you broke up with me
Reposted by Simon
"We remastered Mad Men from the original files!"
"Did you remember to redo all the effects shots?"
"Say what now?"
"Did you remember to redo all the effects shots?"
"Say what now?"
HBOMax has started showing a 'remastered' 4K Mad Men and they’ve messed things up so during Roger’s oyster vomit scene you can now see the crew men with the vomit hose on the right
December 2, 2025 at 2:22 PM
"We remastered Mad Men from the original files!"
"Did you remember to redo all the effects shots?"
"Say what now?"
"Did you remember to redo all the effects shots?"
"Say what now?"
Reposted by Simon
This much-loved gift is also available from shop.printtrail.com/product/the-...
December 2, 2025 at 11:38 AM
This much-loved gift is also available from shop.printtrail.com/product/the-...
Reposted by Simon
what people think hacking is like: Mr. Robot
what hacking is actually like: Hmm. That’s weird
what hacking is actually like: Hmm. That’s weird
December 2, 2025 at 6:28 AM
what people think hacking is like: Mr. Robot
what hacking is actually like: Hmm. That’s weird
what hacking is actually like: Hmm. That’s weird
Reposted by Simon
All while playing bass for Manic Street Preachers
December 1, 2025 at 5:58 PM
All while playing bass for Manic Street Preachers
Reposted by Simon
The EU are removing their de minimis threshold next year. So that will be the EU added to the growing list of places that I can’t sell to.
As a small business it’s getting harder and harder to keep going.
Fuck brexit and all who sail in her. 🤬
As a small business it’s getting harder and harder to keep going.
Fuck brexit and all who sail in her. 🤬
a man sitting at a desk with a panda bear on his arm
Alt: A Panda smashing up an office
media.tenor.com
November 30, 2025 at 10:40 AM
The EU are removing their de minimis threshold next year. So that will be the EU added to the growing list of places that I can’t sell to.
As a small business it’s getting harder and harder to keep going.
Fuck brexit and all who sail in her. 🤬
As a small business it’s getting harder and harder to keep going.
Fuck brexit and all who sail in her. 🤬
Reposted by Simon
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree. Ate it.
December 1, 2025 at 8:27 AM
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree. Ate it.
Reposted by Simon
He's m ng ist
He’s check ice
He find ou
naught ice
Norman Collier is comi town
He’s check ice
He find ou
naught ice
Norman Collier is comi town
November 30, 2025 at 10:03 PM
He's m ng ist
He’s check ice
He find ou
naught ice
Norman Collier is comi town
He’s check ice
He find ou
naught ice
Norman Collier is comi town
Reposted by Simon
"We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting. By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs–"
November 30, 2025 at 5:44 PM
"We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting. By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs–"
Reposted by Simon
Reposted by Simon
Your annual reminder that 1975 Robert De Niro badly needed a French polisher to save his life.
November 29, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Your annual reminder that 1975 Robert De Niro badly needed a French polisher to save his life.
Reposted by Simon
The Doctor is right and correct
Always love to see great talent using their platform for unabashed good.
'F*** Off And Let People Be': David Tennant Doubles Down On Support For Trans People
"People are trying to create division... and it's so f***ing unnecessary."
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk
November 29, 2025 at 12:51 PM
The Doctor is right and correct
Oh good grief, so much laughter (from me).
November 29, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Oh good grief, so much laughter (from me).
Well now we know why Bertie Wooster wasn't a complete douche canoe.
rich dudes got freakier after butlers fell out of fashion, like say what you will about having domestic servants but clearly it was some sort of moderating force on old rich dudes having a fancy man follow you around saying shit like "oh dear sir, that wouldn't be very becoming"
November 29, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Well now we know why Bertie Wooster wasn't a complete douche canoe.
Reposted by Simon
Cronenberg's body horror schtick is softening in his old age
November 29, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Cronenberg's body horror schtick is softening in his old age
Reposted by Simon
Quite a bold claim.
November 28, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Quite a bold claim.
Introduce yourself with five animals you've seen in the wild:
Grass Snake
Deer
Seal
Dolphin
Armadillo
Grass Snake
Deer
Seal
Dolphin
Armadillo
Introduce yourself with five animals you've seen in the wild:
Fox
Mole
Badger
Weasel
Muntjac deer
Fox
Mole
Badger
Weasel
Muntjac deer
Introduce yourself with five animals you've seen in the wild (seen in very domestic circumstances but still made me go Wow!):
Hedgehog
Squirrel
Rabbits
Shrew
Dragonfly
Hedgehog
Squirrel
Rabbits
Shrew
Dragonfly
November 29, 2025 at 10:24 AM
Introduce yourself with five animals you've seen in the wild:
Grass Snake
Deer
Seal
Dolphin
Armadillo
Grass Snake
Deer
Seal
Dolphin
Armadillo