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kim

@kimmymonte.bsky.social

15K followers 310 following 3K posts

my stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:5rnmu5xtzqwc2c4u22abl2ka/feed/aaabw5bxhz3yw

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · Jan 2

lead singer: ARE YOU READY TO ROCK????

me in the pit trying to clean the front of my glasses w my tshirt: JUST A SEC, BUD

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 5h

baby is ready for some tricks and treats

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 17h

{me as a baseball announcer}
todd i think the guys standing out in the field right now are bored maybe give them a puzzle to do or hand puppets. keith? thoughts?

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 17h

{me as an NHL announcer}
well clark i think if they played this game on grass they wouldn't need ice skates. ok. take it away, roland.

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 17h

{me as a football announcer}
thanks, tom i think they should play with more than one football so nobody feels left out ok back to you, frank

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Reposted by kim

andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 4d

Bluesky taught me the joy of blocking. I block people everywhere now. I just blocked an ex boyfriend on duolingo. I can't stop.

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Reposted by kim

Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 4d

*brings updated terms and conditions to a knife fight*

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Reposted by kim

Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 21h

reminder to check your kid’s trick or treat candy this year to make sure there isn’t any ai in it

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Reposted by kim

Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 2d

Got kicked out of my work’s holiday party planning committee for suggesting the theme be “man’s inhumanity to man”

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Reposted by kim

born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · Sep 11

[me, when someone calls me mentally ill on social media] are you hitting on me

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 17h

it’s expensive bc the pattern is so complicated

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 19h

if you count cows instead of sheep to try and fall asleep it’s probably pasture bedtime (i’m so sorry)

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 19h

*me right after the tech takes my x-ray* ok now let’s do a silly one

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 1d

hope everyone has a great weekend except those people who said Weapons was a good movie. you guys can rot in hell.

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 1d

you can’t spell library without bra and i think that says a lot about absolutely nothing

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 2d

taylor swift should write a song about when your sleeve keeps rolling down every time you wash the dishes

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 2d

no thanks i’d rather light myself on fire

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 4d

reporting from bikini bottom fashion week

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 5d

only read this if you are wells fargo:

please fuck off into the sun

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 5d

if you’re charging $40 for your haunted house i better be able to fuck a ghost or at the very least make pottery with one.

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