Pinned
Jay
@jaysbored.bsky.social
· Nov 22
Marriage is like a marathon. I’m never gonna run a fucking marathon.
As far as I’m concerned the Oscars could just be an email.
December 17, 2025 at 6:26 PM
As far as I’m concerned the Oscars could just be an email.
I hate Christmas. Let’s do another Halloween instead.
December 17, 2025 at 6:00 PM
I hate Christmas. Let’s do another Halloween instead.
Reposted by Jay
This is a photo from the Vanity Fair article. Notice how they have to arrange it so Stephen Miller is on the end, so it isn’t obvious that there is no reflection of him on the mirrored table.🧛
December 16, 2025 at 9:08 PM
This is a photo from the Vanity Fair article. Notice how they have to arrange it so Stephen Miller is on the end, so it isn’t obvious that there is no reflection of him on the mirrored table.🧛
Reposted by Jay
There’s old. Then there’s “you have to buy a water pick to avoid bone loss in your teeth” old.
December 10, 2025 at 6:01 AM
There’s old. Then there’s “you have to buy a water pick to avoid bone loss in your teeth” old.
Apple: We’ve changed how everything works on your phone.
Me: K…why?
Apple: Because fuck you that’s why.
Me: K…why?
Apple: Because fuck you that’s why.
December 16, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Apple: We’ve changed how everything works on your phone.
Me: K…why?
Apple: Because fuck you that’s why.
Me: K…why?
Apple: Because fuck you that’s why.
Reposted by Jay
if you see me with a chip clip in my hair mind your business
December 16, 2025 at 3:41 AM
if you see me with a chip clip in my hair mind your business
Reposted by Jay
The best I can do is give you my divided attention.
December 16, 2025 at 2:52 AM
The best I can do is give you my divided attention.
Reposted by Jay
Frankincense is the doctor, Myrrh is the stupid sound the monster makes, Kevin.
December 15, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Frankincense is the doctor, Myrrh is the stupid sound the monster makes, Kevin.
Reposted by Jay
Applied to a job at bsky dot app. Promised not to retweet things about cum or fucking anyone's mom. Also to stop saying retweet. Wish me luck fam
December 15, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Applied to a job at bsky dot app. Promised not to retweet things about cum or fucking anyone's mom. Also to stop saying retweet. Wish me luck fam
Reposted by Jay
insane move to imply that a murderer is your own supporter
December 15, 2025 at 5:19 PM
insane move to imply that a murderer is your own supporter
Reposted by Jay
you’ve definitely heard of elf on the shelf but are you ready for
December 13, 2025 at 9:18 PM
you’ve definitely heard of elf on the shelf but are you ready for
Always be true to who you are. Except you Disney adults. That’s weird. You’re weird. Be someone else. Literally anyone else.
December 13, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Always be true to who you are. Except you Disney adults. That’s weird. You’re weird. Be someone else. Literally anyone else.
Reposted by Jay
Good morning to everybody except people who don’t use their blinkers to turn in the parking lot you are trying to exit
December 13, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Good morning to everybody except people who don’t use their blinkers to turn in the parking lot you are trying to exit
Reposted by Jay
If I wasn’t already a militant agnostic the idea that our noses and our ears are connected would make me real mad at god.
December 13, 2025 at 4:31 PM
If I wasn’t already a militant agnostic the idea that our noses and our ears are connected would make me real mad at god.
🎶This little light of mine grows brighter with some wine.🎶
December 13, 2025 at 12:33 AM
🎶This little light of mine grows brighter with some wine.🎶
Reposted by Jay
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
December 11, 2025 at 7:57 PM
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
Reposted by Jay
America’s check engine lights just came on
December 11, 2025 at 12:59 PM
America’s check engine lights just came on
Reposted by Jay
Is Liam Neeson just gonna come out with some batshit personal thing every five years, i must admit it’s an interesting rollout
December 12, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Is Liam Neeson just gonna come out with some batshit personal thing every five years, i must admit it’s an interesting rollout
Reposted by Jay
What am I doing for the holidays? I don’t even know when I’m going to bed
December 6, 2024 at 5:44 AM
What am I doing for the holidays? I don’t even know when I’m going to bed
Reposted by Jay
You are not fully developed at 25.
You are fully developed when the lyrics to “Against the Wind” make sense to you.
You are fully developed when the lyrics to “Against the Wind” make sense to you.
December 11, 2025 at 5:23 PM
You are not fully developed at 25.
You are fully developed when the lyrics to “Against the Wind” make sense to you.
You are fully developed when the lyrics to “Against the Wind” make sense to you.
Reposted by Jay
I had a dream about you last night.
You’ll be hearing from my attorney.
You’ll be hearing from my attorney.
December 11, 2025 at 6:14 PM
I had a dream about you last night.
You’ll be hearing from my attorney.
You’ll be hearing from my attorney.
On a scale of 1-10 guess how excited I am for the new Avatar.
Now add 10.
Now double that.
Now double it again.
Now multiply by zero and throw the whole franchise in the trash because I was fully over those blue fuckers exactly 5 minutes after walking out of the theater 16 goddamn years ago.
Now add 10.
Now double that.
Now double it again.
Now multiply by zero and throw the whole franchise in the trash because I was fully over those blue fuckers exactly 5 minutes after walking out of the theater 16 goddamn years ago.
December 12, 2025 at 3:03 AM
On a scale of 1-10 guess how excited I am for the new Avatar.
Now add 10.
Now double that.
Now double it again.
Now multiply by zero and throw the whole franchise in the trash because I was fully over those blue fuckers exactly 5 minutes after walking out of the theater 16 goddamn years ago.
Now add 10.
Now double that.
Now double it again.
Now multiply by zero and throw the whole franchise in the trash because I was fully over those blue fuckers exactly 5 minutes after walking out of the theater 16 goddamn years ago.
Reposted by Jay
I think we should manipulate other people
December 10, 2025 at 8:23 PM
I think we should manipulate other people
Reposted by Jay
make sure you drink that up, the elves have spent all year working their tiny fingers to the bone nogging the eggs for us so we can have a little wrong milk for the holidays
December 10, 2025 at 1:50 AM
make sure you drink that up, the elves have spent all year working their tiny fingers to the bone nogging the eggs for us so we can have a little wrong milk for the holidays