Gruffalo Trace
@gruffalotrace.bsky.social
Refugee from the Bad Place.
Generally sarcastic, sometimes amusing, occasionally serious, generally dull.
Zero life plan. Love a Bourbon. Dark sense of humour. Quiet... normally
maple filtered over there
Generally sarcastic, sometimes amusing, occasionally serious, generally dull.
Zero life plan. Love a Bourbon. Dark sense of humour. Quiet... normally
maple filtered over there
Pinned
Gruffalo Trace
@gruffalotrace.bsky.social
· Feb 15
You said the worst thing about getting old would be seeing the spark fade in my eyes.
Who would have thought you'd be the one to put it out.
Who would have thought you'd be the one to put it out.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Horrendous spray on the M4 today all the way from the end to Bath & beyond.
Something really pissed me off.
Something really pissed me off.
November 14, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Horrendous spray on the M4 today all the way from the end to Bath & beyond.
Something really pissed me off.
Something really pissed me off.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
If only we’d harnessed Girl Power back in the 90’s, we wouldn’t be in this mess
November 7, 2025 at 6:14 AM
If only we’d harnessed Girl Power back in the 90’s, we wouldn’t be in this mess
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
My handyman said he wants to nail my shingle, do you think it's a roofemism?
My dog is scratching at the door to go out, do you think that’s a poophemism
My cat said he wants to scratch my eyeballs out, do you think that's a mewphemism?
November 15, 2025 at 12:29 AM
My handyman said he wants to nail my shingle, do you think it's a roofemism?
You're greasing the potatoes,
I'm magicing the beans.
We are not the same.
I'm magicing the beans.
We are not the same.
You're basting your turkey, I'm masturbasting my cookie. We are not the same.
You’re expressing interest, I’m expressing my dog’s anal glands. We are not the same
November 15, 2025 at 12:16 AM
You're greasing the potatoes,
I'm magicing the beans.
We are not the same.
I'm magicing the beans.
We are not the same.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
You're basting your turkey, I'm masturbasting my cookie. We are not the same.
You’re expressing interest, I’m expressing my dog’s anal glands. We are not the same
November 15, 2025 at 12:06 AM
You're basting your turkey, I'm masturbasting my cookie. We are not the same.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Just saw on a TikTok that as of yesterday, Nov 13, Voyager 1 is 1 full light day away from Earth.
My inner dweeb is totally fascinated by this.
My inner dweeb is totally fascinated by this.
November 14, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Just saw on a TikTok that as of yesterday, Nov 13, Voyager 1 is 1 full light day away from Earth.
My inner dweeb is totally fascinated by this.
My inner dweeb is totally fascinated by this.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
I'll take the induced coma, please.
November 14, 2025 at 9:43 PM
I'll take the induced coma, please.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
🎶Today’s the day the teddy bears have their…
November 14, 2025 at 9:44 PM
🎶Today’s the day the teddy bears have their…
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Touching grass to pick up dogshit still counts, right?
November 14, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Touching grass to pick up dogshit still counts, right?
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
popeye: *devours entire can of spinach*
olive oyl, under her breath: never eats me like that..
olive oyl, under her breath: never eats me like that..
November 14, 2025 at 5:33 PM
popeye: *devours entire can of spinach*
olive oyl, under her breath: never eats me like that..
olive oyl, under her breath: never eats me like that..
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
I spend far too long worrying about dogs on TV shows whose fictional owners have long working hours/family crises/nights out/holidays, and they don't mention who's looking after the dog while they're out. No mention of dog walkers/sitters.
REASSURE ME, YOU BASTARDS!!!
REASSURE ME, YOU BASTARDS!!!
a dog is swimming in the ocean on a sunny day
ALT: a dog is swimming in the ocean on a sunny day
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 9:04 PM
I spend far too long worrying about dogs on TV shows whose fictional owners have long working hours/family crises/nights out/holidays, and they don't mention who's looking after the dog while they're out. No mention of dog walkers/sitters.
REASSURE ME, YOU BASTARDS!!!
REASSURE ME, YOU BASTARDS!!!
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
It’s Friday, I’m in loathe
November 14, 2025 at 7:44 PM
It’s Friday, I’m in loathe
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
I'm OK with taking them ALL down if they're involved...no matter who it is.
Exposing the Epstein Network is not going to be politically convenient. If your interest in unravelling a child rape network is to only take down Trump, you aren't interested in justice. Sure it can take him down, but you must adult up; accept it'll take down some of your favourite politicians too.
November 14, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I'm OK with taking them ALL down if they're involved...no matter who it is.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Watch this…
I've edited a video! Of some of my standup! Like you're supposed to when you're a comedian!
Please enjoy "My jokes are good, actually, and here are the reasons why".
Shares/fawning praise etc obviously appreciated x
www.youtube.com/watch?v=s93X...
Please enjoy "My jokes are good, actually, and here are the reasons why".
Shares/fawning praise etc obviously appreciated x
www.youtube.com/watch?v=s93X...
My jokes are good, actually, and here are the reasons why.
YouTube video by Guy Kelly
www.youtube.com
November 14, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Watch this…
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
On Fridays we enjoy happiness.
November 14, 2025 at 6:06 PM
On Fridays we enjoy happiness.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
*during sex*
okay but why did your tone change
okay but why did your tone change
November 14, 2025 at 7:13 PM
*during sex*
okay but why did your tone change
okay but why did your tone change
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:
Dolly Farton
Dolly Farton
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:
Musty Springfield
Musty Springfield
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:
David Lee Rath
David Lee Rath
November 14, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:
Dolly Farton
Dolly Farton
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
crazy
IG em_clarkson
IG em_clarkson
November 14, 2025 at 2:54 AM
crazy
IG em_clarkson
IG em_clarkson
Something you can say in the bedroom or the gym:
You gotta wipe it down when you get off.
You gotta wipe it down when you get off.
November 14, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Something you can say in the bedroom or the gym:
You gotta wipe it down when you get off.
You gotta wipe it down when you get off.
Horrendous spray on the M4 today all the way from the end to Bath & beyond.
Something really pissed me off.
Something really pissed me off.
November 14, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Horrendous spray on the M4 today all the way from the end to Bath & beyond.
Something really pissed me off.
Something really pissed me off.
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Cost of living has forced me to get all my Christmas shopping done today
Hope everyone likes Halloween costumes
#FridayFuckology
Hope everyone likes Halloween costumes
#FridayFuckology
a man in a saw mask is being held by another man in a jason voorhees costume
ALT: a man in a saw mask is being held by another man in a jason voorhees costume
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Cost of living has forced me to get all my Christmas shopping done today
Hope everyone likes Halloween costumes
#FridayFuckology
Hope everyone likes Halloween costumes
#FridayFuckology
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
"That motorcycle is going to kill you"
Have you seen my taste in women!?! Motorcycles are the least of my worries!
#FridayFuckology
Have you seen my taste in women!?! Motorcycles are the least of my worries!
#FridayFuckology
a woman in a harley quinn costume is holding a lollipop and saying `` yes daddyyy '' .
ALT: a woman in a harley quinn costume is holding a lollipop and saying `` yes daddyyy '' .
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 2:11 PM
"That motorcycle is going to kill you"
Have you seen my taste in women!?! Motorcycles are the least of my worries!
#FridayFuckology
Have you seen my taste in women!?! Motorcycles are the least of my worries!
#FridayFuckology
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
Reposted by Gruffalo Trace
