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Jerry

@allhailjerry.myatproto.social

6.4K followers 440 following 1.8K posts

Headache. Big Boss Human: @riversidecasino.bsky.social Contributor: ‪ @sorrowscopes.bsky.social‬ @greenevillezoo.bsky.social‬ @cloverkisscinema.bsky.social‬ My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/allhailjerry.bsky.social/feed/aaafaaongqdyc

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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · Nov 11

Screaming for ice cream does not work.

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Elizadeath Boollano @lizzyppp.bsky.social · 4h

Dr. Frankenstein to the monster’s stylist: I think bangs would look really cute on him.

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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 8h

Even though we haven't heard from him in a long time, that doesn't mean John Tesh isn't still out there, lurking, waiting, plotting

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Scott Linnen @scottlinnen.bsky.social · 10h

a tumbleweed rolling across a dusty desert plane. the cry of vultures circling overhead. what's in your wallet?

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👻Violet👻Haunting👻(Jellybean Socrates) @violetmusing.bsky.social · 10h

Empty waiting room...at least 20 chairs...some woman comes in and takes the seat right next to me.

I'm hoping she's reading what I'm typing right now...

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 9h

Crazy Zoo Facts:
Sea Otters sleep holding hands as a pledge of unity and devotion to Ottriaxus, Demon God Of The Night.

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matt prindle @griefbison.bsky.social · 9h

Yard skeletons are not yet gigantic enough. We must strive on.

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Chris Steller @chrissteller.bsky.social · 9h

I now know someone whose first words were "I want cheese"

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 2d

I'm going to buy a dog and tell it all of my problems

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 9h

we’ll we’ll we’ll if it isn’t my old friend autocorrect

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Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 4d

There was an 8th dwarf. His name was Snitchey.

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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 10h

If you're human, come try the new slot machines.

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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 16h

If you survive, you can tell the tale of your uphill-both-ways walk to Chipotle, your Uggs barely saving your chilly toes, the droplets on your glasses, the way your hat messed up your hair.

Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 16h

58 degrees! Prayers won't help you.

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 17h

I used to have a lot of hopes and dreams and now all I want is an upright freezer for all my winter soups and stews

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blink-sun8tzu @suntzufuntzu.bsky.social · 1d

everyone says they love to travel, but most of them are pretty stressed out when they regain consciousness loaded into my trebuchet

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mave @mave.bsky.social · 17h

being AFFECTED by SUBSTANCES (half a cold brew)

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alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 1d

(taking the TED talk stage before a crowd of techn investors thrumming with anticipation) a punk cow wears a moooohawk

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 1d

We don't know the health effects of drinking hippo bath water. All we know is the people selling it outside the south gate are not zoo employees.

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D.N. Schmidt, sci-fi novelist🪐📚 @dnschmidt.com · 1d

Might publish my own dictionary just to fix words with annoying spellings. It’s Whensday now. Deal with it.

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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 1d

What a frustrating time for criminals who happen to be orange seeing the phrase "orange felon" on social media all the time

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Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith.com · 1d

Nice joke you’ve got there. Be a real shame if I repeated the content of it back to you with aggressively pedantic sincerity.

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geekysteven @geekysteven.com · 1d

Wolves and deer are natural enemies, not like gazelles and lions. That was more of an astroturf thing

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d

happy columbus day to jason columbus i’ll never forget the size of that hickey you left on my thigh

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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 1d

Heading over to the public library to see what capes the perverts will be wearing this winter.

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Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 3d

“a dull blade is more dangerous than a sharp one”- guy that’s never been stabbed by a sharp blade

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