Jerry
@allhailjerry.myatproto.social
Headache.
Big Boss Human: @riversidecasino.bsky.social
Contributor:
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@greenevillezoo.bsky.social
@cloverkisscinema.bsky.social
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/allhailjerry.bsky.social/feed/aaafaaongqdyc
Big Boss Human: @riversidecasino.bsky.social
Contributor:
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@greenevillezoo.bsky.social
@cloverkisscinema.bsky.social
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/allhailjerry.bsky.social/feed/aaafaaongqdyc
Pinned
Jerry
@allhailjerry.myatproto.social
· Nov 11
Screaming for ice cream does not work.
Reposted by Jerry
Carol of the Bells, Dave of the Tinnitus
November 29, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Carol of the Bells, Dave of the Tinnitus
Reposted by Jerry
Photographer: Alright, let’s do a silly one!
Body At Crime Scene: …
Body At Crime Scene: …
November 29, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Photographer: Alright, let’s do a silly one!
Body At Crime Scene: …
Body At Crime Scene: …
Reposted by Jerry
We stand firm in the belief that our handler erred on the side of caution when he tranquilized the child in the Tigger pajamas.
November 29, 2025 at 4:09 PM
We stand firm in the belief that our handler erred on the side of caution when he tranquilized the child in the Tigger pajamas.
Reposted by Jerry
So I dont really know how to do this but basically, im willing to give away five of the only print I have in my shop and two avi. If you want one, dm me, and if you can, donate on my shop or my kofi which is in my bio
Deeny.shop.fourthwall.com
Deeny.shop.fourthwall.com
November 28, 2025 at 6:06 PM
So I dont really know how to do this but basically, im willing to give away five of the only print I have in my shop and two avi. If you want one, dm me, and if you can, donate on my shop or my kofi which is in my bio
Deeny.shop.fourthwall.com
Deeny.shop.fourthwall.com
Reposted by Jerry
bending all to my will because I can’t get enough hugs
November 27, 2025 at 2:46 AM
bending all to my will because I can’t get enough hugs
Reposted by Jerry
Harry Potter and the bidet of fire
November 27, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Harry Potter and the bidet of fire
Reposted by Jerry
In this house we believe:
- love is love
- science is real
- carbs are our friends
- gravy can fill the cracks in your heart
- turkey ghosts rule the night, and their terrifying gobble will one day find us all
- love is love
- science is real
- carbs are our friends
- gravy can fill the cracks in your heart
- turkey ghosts rule the night, and their terrifying gobble will one day find us all
November 27, 2025 at 3:05 AM
In this house we believe:
- love is love
- science is real
- carbs are our friends
- gravy can fill the cracks in your heart
- turkey ghosts rule the night, and their terrifying gobble will one day find us all
- love is love
- science is real
- carbs are our friends
- gravy can fill the cracks in your heart
- turkey ghosts rule the night, and their terrifying gobble will one day find us all
Reposted by Jerry
The Keebler Elves are billionaires now, and as part of the President's Advisory Council they've said some alarming things about the connection between Pepperidge Farms and autism.
November 27, 2025 at 12:27 AM
The Keebler Elves are billionaires now, and as part of the President's Advisory Council they've said some alarming things about the connection between Pepperidge Farms and autism.
Reposted by Jerry
A cool thing about moving is rediscovering stuff from like 18 years ago, such as a case of mix cds I made for dudes… but then I liked them (the cds) so much I just kept them
November 26, 2025 at 10:31 PM
A cool thing about moving is rediscovering stuff from like 18 years ago, such as a case of mix cds I made for dudes… but then I liked them (the cds) so much I just kept them
Reposted by Jerry
The Muppets Christmas Carol confirms the existence of Christ in the Muppets universe, meaning that some of them freaks were present at the crucifixion.
November 26, 2025 at 10:57 PM
The Muppets Christmas Carol confirms the existence of Christ in the Muppets universe, meaning that some of them freaks were present at the crucifixion.
Reposted by Jerry
During our last bird show a goose snatched a hairpiece. If you're missing a hairpiece, stop at Guest Services. If you can describe this hairpiece, you may reclaim your hairpiece.
November 10, 2025 at 10:41 PM
During our last bird show a goose snatched a hairpiece. If you're missing a hairpiece, stop at Guest Services. If you can describe this hairpiece, you may reclaim your hairpiece.
Reposted by Jerry
A turkey won’t fit inside my hollow tree, but everyone’s looking forward to a tasty helping of roasted acorns
November 26, 2025 at 5:13 PM
A turkey won’t fit inside my hollow tree, but everyone’s looking forward to a tasty helping of roasted acorns
Reposted by Jerry
Chernobyl would be a beautiful name for a baby boy conjoined to another baby boy
November 26, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Chernobyl would be a beautiful name for a baby boy conjoined to another baby boy
Cost a fortune to spell out "WAKE UP, HOLIDAY SHOPPERS! WE ARE HURTLING TOWARD ANNIHILATION" in LED Christmas lights on the front lawn.
November 27, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Cost a fortune to spell out "WAKE UP, HOLIDAY SHOPPERS! WE ARE HURTLING TOWARD ANNIHILATION" in LED Christmas lights on the front lawn.
Reposted by Jerry
You drive a Murano? Like from Dillard's?
November 26, 2025 at 5:32 PM
You drive a Murano? Like from Dillard's?
Reposted by Jerry
I hope the next edition of E. B. White's The Elements of Style addresses "Boiled Peanuts" vs "Boiled P-nuts."
November 26, 2025 at 12:46 PM
I hope the next edition of E. B. White's The Elements of Style addresses "Boiled Peanuts" vs "Boiled P-nuts."
Reposted by Jerry
Operator: Butterball hotline, how can I help you with your turkey today?
Me (whispering): I'm so scared. You have to help me.
Operator: Sir?
Me: I'm under the bed, and --oh God no, he sees me!
*gobbling noises, a shotgun cocks*
Me: I'm sorry! Please, for the--
*BLAM*
Operator: Sir? ...Sir?
Me (whispering): I'm so scared. You have to help me.
Operator: Sir?
Me: I'm under the bed, and --oh God no, he sees me!
*gobbling noises, a shotgun cocks*
Me: I'm sorry! Please, for the--
*BLAM*
Operator: Sir? ...Sir?
November 26, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Operator: Butterball hotline, how can I help you with your turkey today?
Me (whispering): I'm so scared. You have to help me.
Operator: Sir?
Me: I'm under the bed, and --oh God no, he sees me!
*gobbling noises, a shotgun cocks*
Me: I'm sorry! Please, for the--
*BLAM*
Operator: Sir? ...Sir?
Me (whispering): I'm so scared. You have to help me.
Operator: Sir?
Me: I'm under the bed, and --oh God no, he sees me!
*gobbling noises, a shotgun cocks*
Me: I'm sorry! Please, for the--
*BLAM*
Operator: Sir? ...Sir?
Reposted by Jerry
[argument at thanksgiving dinner]
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
November 26, 2025 at 2:04 PM
[argument at thanksgiving dinner]
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
Reposted by Jerry
love how language learning apps are like “three words you need to know in every language are badminton, wild boar, and frolicsome”
November 26, 2025 at 2:14 PM
love how language learning apps are like “three words you need to know in every language are badminton, wild boar, and frolicsome”
Reposted by Jerry
Meet our 3 turkeys, Butterball, Yum Yum, and Drumstick. Just Kidding. All turkeys are named Sir Peckworth Of Gobble Town.
November 25, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Meet our 3 turkeys, Butterball, Yum Yum, and Drumstick. Just Kidding. All turkeys are named Sir Peckworth Of Gobble Town.
Costco never really plays up its sexy image
November 25, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Costco never really plays up its sexy image
Reposted by Jerry
There is a mirror in room 402 that shows viewers their reflections 32 seconds into the future. It has saved and ended many lives. We cannot take it down. We have tried.
November 13, 2025 at 8:54 PM
There is a mirror in room 402 that shows viewers their reflections 32 seconds into the future. It has saved and ended many lives. We cannot take it down. We have tried.
Reposted by Jerry
they should terraform the earth
November 23, 2025 at 1:50 AM
they should terraform the earth
Reposted by Jerry
*running into someone i haven’t seen in forever* omg, i think about your dog all the time
November 21, 2025 at 7:53 PM
*running into someone i haven’t seen in forever* omg, i think about your dog all the time
Reposted by Jerry
that which does not kill you will only be denied coverage by insurance
November 22, 2025 at 8:02 PM
that which does not kill you will only be denied coverage by insurance