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phil mccrevice

@jewkrainian.bsky.social

6.5K followers 980 following 16K posts

30 something Software Engineer Ohio escapee (cleveland sports) An idiot who types things Denver📍 (eng/rus) just my skeets https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:tfg6pbtryl7sb4kcaytrz7tq/feed/aaaem3hzwrdig NGL https://ngl.link/ledhead

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · Jan 25

genie: and for your last wish?

me: I wish I could talk to animals

[later at the zoo]

elephant: get me the fuck out of here

gorilla: get me the fuck out of here

giraffe: get me the fuck out of here

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Reposted by phil mccrevice

aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 1h

the worst submarine movie ive ever seen is a damn fine movie

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Reposted by phil mccrevice

Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 2h

It’s time we had more movies about submarines and I’m sick and fucking tired of having to say this obvious truth!

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 2h

HAVE YOU BEEN COOKED YET?

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Reposted by phil mccrevice

alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 6h

you aren’t “caked up” you have lead poisoning

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Reposted by phil mccrevice

Devi 🧙‍♀️✨ @deviwestside.bsky.social · 4h

Lead singer: everybody jump

Me: not with these knees

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Reposted by phil mccrevice

slop enjoyer @slop.guru · 3h

anyone tried this

screenshot crop from a food delivery app

Soft Drinks & Water
Red Bulls
Delicious and flavorful red bulls grilled to perfection.
$3.38
Add

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 3h

make that a shovel and i’m in

phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 3h

believe it or not, that hasn’t changed

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 3h

no one’s called me that since the incident with the shovel

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 3h

listen if you know you know ok?

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 3h

what’s wrong Hemmy, you’ve hardly touched your grapes?

phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 3h

this is my son Hemorrhoid, on account of the hemorrhoids during that last trimester

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 3h

you can have one marijuana

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 3h

gather round kids, tonight we’re smoking drugs

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 3h

tenderizing your thigh before marinating and cooking obviously

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Reposted by phil mccrevice

alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 4h

when your crime is adorable, that's when they proseCUTE 😍

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 4h

this is actually the funniest fucking thing anyone could have said holy shit lmaooooo

“i turned at the right time 🤷‍♂️”

Reposted by phil mccrevice

Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 7h

I’m reading a book about drywall but I’m too plastered to focus.

grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 1d

i'm reading a book about roofing but it's been going over my head.

ThinlyVeiledPanda @thinlyveiledpanda.bsky.social · 2d

I’m reading a book on anti gravity. It’s impossible to put down

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Reposted by phil mccrevice

Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 4h

accidentally fell into a vat of hot oil… i’m cooked

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 4h

this is the sacred peanut ratio

phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 4h

may have successfully hacked my 2 year old by telling her “last bite” every time i give her a spoonful. so far it’s been 10 last bites

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Reposted by phil mccrevice

phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 1d

if you ever needed to trap me for some reason, literally just put a cinnamon roll under a box like i’m some kind of idiot squirrel. it would work every time

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 1d

if you ever needed to trap me for some reason, literally just put a cinnamon roll under a box like i’m some kind of idiot squirrel. it would work every time

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 1d

i did it, i solved world peace

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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 1d

*sprays you with spray bottle*