Wizard of Awes
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awescar.bsky.social
Wizard of Awes
@awescar.bsky.social
2K followers 1.5K following 1.3K posts
Just a cool motherfucker. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:gmu4fvraoc2o5fjmx4dp6rah/feed/aaahqvajl7vvk
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Not to brag, but chicks at truck stops are always asking me for dates.
He's just starved because his SNAP ran out.
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Dr Oz shouts “is there a doctor in the house?”
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RFK looking over like "I think I could strap him to the roof of my car"
I always thought it would be fun to crank it up like a carnival ride and see everybody stuck to the walls.
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I hope Flavor Flav remembered to turn his clock back one hour.
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Maple syrup is just Canadian jizz.
I usually don't make "Arby's Steak Nuggets" until I have my morning coffee.
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happy "the car clock is finally correct" day to all who celebrate
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i like when bo nix
plays against
michael penix

hot penix on bonix action
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I don't resent poor people who use food stamps to buy another soft drink.

I resent rich people who take away the funds for food stamps to buy another yacht.
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Getting off is fun, getting laid is even more fun, but getting laid off isn't fun at all.
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People who force their religion on others will force their politics on others. It’s why we separate church from state.
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Halloween seems kinda like the Republican dream…

Except instead of kids in costumes begging for candy, it’s adults and families seeking sustenance.
🎶because Wordle was made for fun, fun🎶
"Thug life" I whisper as I throw away the basket and tray at Dairy Queen.
"Thug life" I whisper as I load my SUV with donations to the food bank.
"Thug life" I whisper as I check labels for non-organic ingredients.
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trick-or-treaters don’t know this rn but they’ll be helping me clean out my pantry and freezer
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[during sex] seriously, thank you again for doing this with me
Jets win. Dump Gatorade on them motherfuckers.
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Your shitposting is tearing this family apart.
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The richest man on earth owns X.

The second richest man on earth is about to acquire TikTok and his family could soon own both Paramount and Warner Bros.

The third richest man owns Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp.

The fourth richest man owns The Washington Post.

See the problem here?
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idk why people think skeletons are scary when they’re always smiling
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I still can't get over the fact that it was a white boy playing that funky music