St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
@simeonthefool.bsky.social
Patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Pitied by Mr. T. Sillier than thou.
Let’s all go around the table and say who we think put the rubber chickens in the soup!
Let’s all go around the table and say who we think put the rubber chickens in the soup!
Pinned
Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians
Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
i can’t believe. these chuckleheads are. forcing. my lutheran ass to side. with the pope. a POPE LEO for god’s sake
“In these lectures, Thiel doesn’t just flirt with the apocalyptic. He goes all in — openly discussing the Antichrist, naming Pope Leo XIV as a potential manifestation of that figure, and, most disturbingly, advising JD Vance to ignore the pope on moral matters altogether.”
In newly leaked audio, Peter Thiel admits he urged JD Vance to ignore Pope Leo XIV on moral questions — including the ethical development of AI.
He goes even further, branding Leo “the woke American pope” and suggesting he’s a tool of the Antichrist.
He goes even further, branding Leo “the woke American pope” and suggesting he’s a tool of the Antichrist.
November 25, 2025 at 5:36 PM
i can’t believe. these chuckleheads are. forcing. my lutheran ass to side. with the pope. a POPE LEO for god’s sake
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
Congratulations! You win a trip to the Tunnel of Doom.
November 25, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Congratulations! You win a trip to the Tunnel of Doom.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
ME: Your honor, I submit before the court that I am mixing together these coffee beans with this banana skin.
JUDGE: What? Why are you doing that?
ME: Now I have grounds for appeal!
JUDGE: Will somebody PLEASE find a crime we can charge this guy with
JUDGE: What? Why are you doing that?
ME: Now I have grounds for appeal!
JUDGE: Will somebody PLEASE find a crime we can charge this guy with
January 28, 2024 at 2:12 PM
ME: Your honor, I submit before the court that I am mixing together these coffee beans with this banana skin.
JUDGE: What? Why are you doing that?
ME: Now I have grounds for appeal!
JUDGE: Will somebody PLEASE find a crime we can charge this guy with
JUDGE: What? Why are you doing that?
ME: Now I have grounds for appeal!
JUDGE: Will somebody PLEASE find a crime we can charge this guy with
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
November 25, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
Gordon Ramsay shows up and yells at me for being stupid enough to get kidnapped. After a tense encounter I tearfully accept it was my fault, and his team rescues me overnight.
Gordon Ramsay shows up and yells at me for being stupid enough to get kidnapped. After a tense encounter I tearfully accept it was my fault, and his team rescues me overnight.
November 25, 2025 at 4:07 PM
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
Gordon Ramsay shows up and yells at me for being stupid enough to get kidnapped. After a tense encounter I tearfully accept it was my fault, and his team rescues me overnight.
Gordon Ramsay shows up and yells at me for being stupid enough to get kidnapped. After a tense encounter I tearfully accept it was my fault, and his team rescues me overnight.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
As the year comes to an end, I'm reposting some of the comics I made this year, including this ridiculous thing.
November 25, 2025 at 3:19 PM
As the year comes to an end, I'm reposting some of the comics I made this year, including this ridiculous thing.
The President has pardoned the Thanksgiving turkey for its participation in the January 6 riots after the turkey agreed to donate $100,000 for construction on the new White House ballroom
November 25, 2025 at 3:52 PM
The President has pardoned the Thanksgiving turkey for its participation in the January 6 riots after the turkey agreed to donate $100,000 for construction on the new White House ballroom
If it’s true that everything exists in a continuum, then somewhere there must exist a show entitled “America’s Unfunniest Home Videos.” They just show videos of two dogs sitting in front of a Christmas tree, and one dog says “the Battle of Hastings” and the other just says “wrong.”
November 25, 2025 at 3:39 PM
If it’s true that everything exists in a continuum, then somewhere there must exist a show entitled “America’s Unfunniest Home Videos.” They just show videos of two dogs sitting in front of a Christmas tree, and one dog says “the Battle of Hastings” and the other just says “wrong.”
Good morning, everybody! Our warmup for today begins like this:
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
and continues that way for ten hours! Better get busy, there’s a lot going on when we’re done.
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
and continues that way for ten hours! Better get busy, there’s a lot going on when we’re done.
November 25, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Good morning, everybody! Our warmup for today begins like this:
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
and continues that way for ten hours! Better get busy, there’s a lot going on when we’re done.
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
Hippity hoppity bumbershoot,
and continues that way for ten hours! Better get busy, there’s a lot going on when we’re done.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
Remember, at this house we do not speak about politics and religion at the dinner table
(Stands up, whips out a straw hat and cane)
We SING about politics and religion at the dinner table!
🎶 Welllllllll…..
(Gets pasted by 18 simultaneous pounds of mashed potatoes)
(Stands up, whips out a straw hat and cane)
We SING about politics and religion at the dinner table!
🎶 Welllllllll…..
(Gets pasted by 18 simultaneous pounds of mashed potatoes)
November 27, 2024 at 5:01 PM
Remember, at this house we do not speak about politics and religion at the dinner table
(Stands up, whips out a straw hat and cane)
We SING about politics and religion at the dinner table!
🎶 Welllllllll…..
(Gets pasted by 18 simultaneous pounds of mashed potatoes)
(Stands up, whips out a straw hat and cane)
We SING about politics and religion at the dinner table!
🎶 Welllllllll…..
(Gets pasted by 18 simultaneous pounds of mashed potatoes)
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
The character is a very three-dimensional villain (he likes sex, drugs, AND rock ‘n’ roll)
February 28, 2025 at 3:47 AM
The character is a very three-dimensional villain (he likes sex, drugs, AND rock ‘n’ roll)
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
My fav Shakespeare thing is how Henry IV part 2 starts with Majel Barrett Roddenberry saying, "Previously on Henry IV..." and there's a clip reel ending with Hotspur yelling "FIRE EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT."
Then Majel's voice: "And now, the conclusion."
Then Majel's voice: "And now, the conclusion."
November 24, 2025 at 10:33 PM
My fav Shakespeare thing is how Henry IV part 2 starts with Majel Barrett Roddenberry saying, "Previously on Henry IV..." and there's a clip reel ending with Hotspur yelling "FIRE EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT."
Then Majel's voice: "And now, the conclusion."
Then Majel's voice: "And now, the conclusion."
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
The 12th Sled Of Kwanzaa (1958): Frosty dies. …What? That's terrible and dying! Who wrote this, the Little Drummer Boy?
November 24, 2025 at 2:57 PM
The 12th Sled Of Kwanzaa (1958): Frosty dies. …What? That's terrible and dying! Who wrote this, the Little Drummer Boy?
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
A Manger For Christmastime (1984): A small-town country music star has second thoughts about her sticky fiancé when she meets a sickly beggar.
November 24, 2025 at 5:56 PM
A Manger For Christmastime (1984): A small-town country music star has second thoughts about her sticky fiancé when she meets a sickly beggar.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
Ebenezer Scrooge 2: Return Of Ebenezer Scrooge (1984): A home for socially distanced environmentalists is in danger of being closed unless a festive politician can get engaged to the turkey.
November 24, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Ebenezer Scrooge 2: Return Of Ebenezer Scrooge (1984): A home for socially distanced environmentalists is in danger of being closed unless a festive politician can get engaged to the turkey.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
The Devil'S Best Christmas Ever (1988): An estranged dancer is looking forward to an estranged Christmas. But when her estranged environmentalist unexpectedly shows up at her door, they will be forced to follow in the footsteps of a Zoom meeting.
November 25, 2025 at 4:07 AM
The Devil'S Best Christmas Ever (1988): An estranged dancer is looking forward to an estranged Christmas. But when her estranged environmentalist unexpectedly shows up at her door, they will be forced to follow in the footsteps of a Zoom meeting.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
We are nearly approaching the 10-year anniversary of the Colangelo family Thanksgiving mystery of trying to figure out who ate the bag of gourmet dog treats thinking they were cookies and stashed the wrapper under the couch once they realized their mistake.
November 25, 2025 at 12:58 AM
We are nearly approaching the 10-year anniversary of the Colangelo family Thanksgiving mystery of trying to figure out who ate the bag of gourmet dog treats thinking they were cookies and stashed the wrapper under the couch once they realized their mistake.
Got to remember to save this for the next
“show me your theology in one image” prompt
“show me your theology in one image” prompt
November 25, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Got to remember to save this for the next
“show me your theology in one image” prompt
“show me your theology in one image” prompt
Ah yes, Aunt Linda’s famous Pumpkin Surprise
My aunt who famously can’t cook tried to make a pumpkin pie. She didn’t know what cloves were, so she put garlic cloves in it. Whole.
November 25, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Ah yes, Aunt Linda’s famous Pumpkin Surprise
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
FORTUNE COOKIE: A huge load of money is coming your way unexpectedly
ME: Yaaayyyy (gets hit by a Brinks truck)
ME: Yaaayyyy (gets hit by a Brinks truck)
September 6, 2023 at 1:24 AM
FORTUNE COOKIE: A huge load of money is coming your way unexpectedly
ME: Yaaayyyy (gets hit by a Brinks truck)
ME: Yaaayyyy (gets hit by a Brinks truck)
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
My jokes are so corny that I even a-maize myself.
November 24, 2025 at 8:32 PM
My jokes are so corny that I even a-maize myself.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
My opinion of Star Wars is that it needed more faces on moons and planets that annoying rockets could launch themselves into
November 24, 2025 at 9:44 PM
My opinion of Star Wars is that it needed more faces on moons and planets that annoying rockets could launch themselves into
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Toilet Paper
November 24, 2025 at 11:11 AM
Pumpkin Spice Toilet Paper
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Snowmobile
November 24, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Pumpkin Spice Snowmobile
Reposted by St. Simeon the Thankful Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Pontius Pilate
November 24, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Pumpkin Spice Pontius Pilate