Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

@simeonthefool.bsky.social

1.3K followers 840 following 4.1K posts

Official patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Sillier than thou. Pitied by Mr. T. World’s leading authority on Emile Gouffart. Innocent bystander. Professor Demetrius of Chaos Theology!

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Sep 10

Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!

Because, well why not, that's why!

bsky.app/profile/pump...

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · Sep 10

Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians

3 5 27

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 4h

1 = wug
2 = wugwug
3 = wugwugwug
4 = wugwugwugwug

and so on

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 4h

Her shop is right next to the barber, Harry Styles

2 36

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 5h

Pumpkin Spice Subconscious Mind

1 2

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 5h

Taylor Swift, alters clothes in a jiffy

2 2 41

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 5h

Nazzareno Romano

creator of the Pizza Stromboli
in 1950
in Philadelphia

Katelyn Boo-urns @katelynburns.com · 6h

name an italian more worthy of an american holiday than columbus

1 3

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 3d

Got kicked out of my work’s holiday party planning committee for suggesting the theme be “man’s inhumanity to man”

36 170 1.2K

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

ShitpostBot 5000 @shitpostbot.com · 1d

9 21

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

The Super Mario Bros Super Bot! @supershowbot.bsky.social · 7h

Hey! We could sing! ♪ 100 bottles of milk on the wall, 100 bottles of milk! If one of the bottles should happen to fall, 99 bottles of milk on the wall! ♪

1 1

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

The Super Mario Bros Super Bot! @supershowbot.bsky.social · 9h

Rambo Bubble Gum card... 'Out-of-this-world girl with head in the clouds, loves to travel'. Madone, Mario! This girl sounds like a 7-4-7!

1 1

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

BeijingPalmer @beijingpalmer.bsky.social · 17h

the good news for donald trump is that he could sincerely repent of his sins and he would be welcomed into the arms of a loving god. the bad news for donald trump is that he's donald trump.

BeijingPalmer @beijingpalmer.bsky.social · 21h

I'm forming a new heresy: universalism with one exception.

Yashar Ali 🐘 @yasharali.bsky.social · 22h

President Trump tells reporters aboard Air Force One that he doesn’t think he’s going to get into heaven.

“I don’t think there’s anything that’s going to get me into heaven.”

(I isolated Trump’s voice)

16 63 590

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 22h

[Karl Marx holding a flashlight under his chin] they say sometimes on a dark night you can still hear the specter that is haunting Europe

1 1 5

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 18h

Dril tweet:

i Fucking hate it when i come at the king and miss, especially when I best not do that

5:03 PM • Aug 22, 2018

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 18h

Wow apparently so

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 1d

Virgo: You are destined to become the best in your chosen profession, in a last person alive sort of way.

4 45 210

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 1d

Sagittarius: Today’s planetary configuration resembles a middle finger but it’s probably nothing.

8 81 340

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

amy brown (spooky edition) @amybrown.xyz · 22h

riding in the car when my son (3.5) said “i have something silly to tell you. roll up the windows so nobody hears” and then he told us a clown is coming to our house. to live with us forever

12 45 530

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 21h

Bizarrely this is the second time this has happened to me today

(I just ran into @rutiregan.bsky.social on here earlier)

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 21h

I’m afraid I’ve been here a while

1 1

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

William Shakespeare @shakespeare.lol · 21h

thou art damn’d to hell

10 74 460

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Emily "Babe" St. James @emilystjams.bsky.social · 21h

If we really put our heads together and keep the evening of December 24 clear, I am convinced we can Christmas Carol this man.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 21h

Trump: "I don't think there's anything that's gonna get me in heaven. I think I'm not maybe heaven bound. I may be in heaven right now as we fly on Air Force One. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to make heaven."

17 86 560

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 21h

Pumpkin Spice Bod

1 2

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 21h

There is nothing new under the pumpkin

1 2

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 21h

The answer to the specific theological question you were about to ask next is “beyond my pay grade”

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 21h

So on the one hand, I do believe even the worst sinner is never beyond the reach of God’s grace

On the other hand, put it this way, have you ever compared the relative sizes of a camel and a sewing needle

Yashar Ali 🐘 @yasharali.bsky.social · 22h

1 7

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

'Gory the A'ight @gregoryaight.bsky.social · 22h

Sure is.

Well done... this!

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

Is this anything

Image of the bright yellow Gadsden Flag, but the coiled snake is removed and replaced with the inflatable frog suit from the Portland protests. The text now reads, "WOOO I'M NOT TREADING ON YOU"

1 8