Judicial bias: if the judge rules "no, you don't get to hit them for that comeback because it was too funny", there is no appeal

Chaos take:

Are we sure it’s not sushi

Well my state is always in a drought so I have to collect water for my people somehow

Because as soon as I get rid of it is when I’m going to turn out to need an RCA-to-30pin adapter cord, that’s why, we’ve been over this

I mean yes my flip phone from 2008 is still in my junk drawer but that’s unrelated to the fact that I haven’t felt a need to upgrade my iPhone 11 yet

I was still not recovered from yesterday’s xkcd

I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.

Things you will need for today’s quest:

- A wet dog
- A happy hog
- A rodeo clown
- Tap shoes
- Pinking shears (in case you need to pink anything)
- Classical music
- The owl who ate New York
- A theatre curtain that looks normal until you shine a light on it and it says “Captain Christmas!”