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Yabba Dabba Do Not Resucitate
August 29, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Yabba Dabba Do Not Resucitate
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DOCTOR: your grandma has suffered a hip dislocation
ME: lol hold on *pulls out phone* “what idiot called it a trendy rap battle venue instea
ME: lol hold on *pulls out phone* “what idiot called it a trendy rap battle venue instea
August 20, 2025 at 11:33 PM
DOCTOR: your grandma has suffered a hip dislocation
ME: lol hold on *pulls out phone* “what idiot called it a trendy rap battle venue instea
ME: lol hold on *pulls out phone* “what idiot called it a trendy rap battle venue instea
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[Leonard Cohen voice] I’ve heard there was a secret chimp
July 26, 2025 at 4:17 AM
[Leonard Cohen voice] I’ve heard there was a secret chimp
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You look identical to Gimli the dwarf no offense
April 5, 2025 at 10:32 PM
You look identical to Gimli the dwarf no offense
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going to Baltimore to tape an episode of Shork Tenk
April 4, 2025 at 7:12 PM
going to Baltimore to tape an episode of Shork Tenk
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Keep honking I’m listening to you honk
March 6, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Keep honking I’m listening to you honk
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Austin powers could clean up this whole mess.
February 28, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Austin powers could clean up this whole mess.
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You into trinkets are you a baubles guy? Personally i go both ways. Wouldnt turn down a bit of bric-a-brac
February 20, 2025 at 9:24 PM
You into trinkets are you a baubles guy? Personally i go both ways. Wouldnt turn down a bit of bric-a-brac
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The only response this letter merits
February 20, 2025 at 10:07 PM
The only response this letter merits
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RFK Jr. is to RFK what Four Seasons Total Landscaping is to Four Seasons Hotel
November 12, 2024 at 6:16 PM
RFK Jr. is to RFK what Four Seasons Total Landscaping is to Four Seasons Hotel
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A murderer tries to stab me but with each thrust of his knife I block it with a sweet potato and after six stabs or so I gently place it in the oven at 400 degrees for 45 minutes
September 6, 2023 at 9:12 PM
A murderer tries to stab me but with each thrust of his knife I block it with a sweet potato and after six stabs or so I gently place it in the oven at 400 degrees for 45 minutes
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if you'd told me in 1995 that a woman singer-songwriter would believe vaccines magnetized your blood and ham cured measles, i 100% would've picked jewel
January 22, 2025 at 12:48 AM
if you'd told me in 1995 that a woman singer-songwriter would believe vaccines magnetized your blood and ham cured measles, i 100% would've picked jewel
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ME: Can I use the bathroom?
FRIEND: End of the hall. Sorry about the mess. And all the shower mildew. And the pissman. Just kick him if he gets between you and the toilet. DON'T piss on him.
MR: He's not leaving.
FRIEND: Kick him way harder than you think.
PISSMAN: Kick so hard you piss a little...
FRIEND: End of the hall. Sorry about the mess. And all the shower mildew. And the pissman. Just kick him if he gets between you and the toilet. DON'T piss on him.
MR: He's not leaving.
FRIEND: Kick him way harder than you think.
PISSMAN: Kick so hard you piss a little...
December 3, 2024 at 6:52 PM
ME: Can I use the bathroom?
FRIEND: End of the hall. Sorry about the mess. And all the shower mildew. And the pissman. Just kick him if he gets between you and the toilet. DON'T piss on him.
MR: He's not leaving.
FRIEND: Kick him way harder than you think.
PISSMAN: Kick so hard you piss a little...
FRIEND: End of the hall. Sorry about the mess. And all the shower mildew. And the pissman. Just kick him if he gets between you and the toilet. DON'T piss on him.
MR: He's not leaving.
FRIEND: Kick him way harder than you think.
PISSMAN: Kick so hard you piss a little...
Reposted by Ryan
Jurassic parks on hbo fyi
November 24, 2024 at 6:59 AM
Jurassic parks on hbo fyi
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I have written probably more than anyone on this subject (hundreds of thousands of words) and the answer is that executives often have no idea what happens at their companies or what actual work looks like
I do not understand why, after remote work has been repeatedly proven to be just as productive (if not more so) than in-office work, people should be required to return to in-office work in order to justify the money the bosses spent on real estate.
Demanding that people go back to the office five days a week has been shown to punish staff who are lower-income, parents, and disabled. It is also not necessary for reporters and journalists who do much of their work in the field, on the phone, or on laptop computers that can be used anywhere.
November 20, 2024 at 5:15 PM
I have written probably more than anyone on this subject (hundreds of thousands of words) and the answer is that executives often have no idea what happens at their companies or what actual work looks like