Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
@dumbmike.bsky.social
I run a kill shelter for small dogs ❤️💚
Pinned
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Hey man, love your new shoes.
-Oh, thanks.
-What brand are they?
-These shoes are Hey Dude Paul Nut Size M11.
-Oh, thanks.
-What brand are they?
-These shoes are Hey Dude Paul Nut Size M11.
January 29, 2025 at 11:26 PM
-Hey man, love your new shoes.
-Oh, thanks.
-What brand are they?
-These shoes are Hey Dude Paul Nut Size M11.
-Oh, thanks.
-What brand are they?
-These shoes are Hey Dude Paul Nut Size M11.
If Santa attacked you I bet he'd say something like "Ho ho ho! I'm about to go north pole on your ass!"
But it's also possible he would just walk up behind you and slit your throat without a word. Maybe he's not quippy when he kills people. I couldn't say.
But it's also possible he would just walk up behind you and slit your throat without a word. Maybe he's not quippy when he kills people. I couldn't say.
December 3, 2025 at 6:43 AM
If Santa attacked you I bet he'd say something like "Ho ho ho! I'm about to go north pole on your ass!"
But it's also possible he would just walk up behind you and slit your throat without a word. Maybe he's not quippy when he kills people. I couldn't say.
But it's also possible he would just walk up behind you and slit your throat without a word. Maybe he's not quippy when he kills people. I couldn't say.
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Kids, your dear old dad is top 0.1% on onlyfans now. He loves to shake his dirty dill pickle for some dollar williams.
December 2, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Kids, your dear old dad is top 0.1% on onlyfans now. He loves to shake his dirty dill pickle for some dollar williams.
Last Jedi this. Force Awakens that. The moment Star Wars really lost the plot was when Anakin was killing all those kids and the movie didn't have me step out of the shadows as the only 40 year old fully grown man padawan with a rocking gym bod and say "How bout you pick on someone your own size?"
December 3, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Last Jedi this. Force Awakens that. The moment Star Wars really lost the plot was when Anakin was killing all those kids and the movie didn't have me step out of the shadows as the only 40 year old fully grown man padawan with a rocking gym bod and say "How bout you pick on someone your own size?"
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My wife just took an old pregnancy test we didn't realize had expired during the George W. Bush presidency and her result was "Ace of ♣️: Qusay Hussein". We don't know how to read this or why the Defense department made a bunch of Iraqi Most Wanted playing card branded urine tests. Is Qusay good news
December 2, 2025 at 3:24 PM
My wife just took an old pregnancy test we didn't realize had expired during the George W. Bush presidency and her result was "Ace of ♣️: Qusay Hussein". We don't know how to read this or why the Defense department made a bunch of Iraqi Most Wanted playing card branded urine tests. Is Qusay good news
Kids, your dear old dad is top 0.1% on onlyfans now. He loves to shake his dirty dill pickle for some dollar williams.
December 2, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Kids, your dear old dad is top 0.1% on onlyfans now. He loves to shake his dirty dill pickle for some dollar williams.
President Trump has, sadly, gone to his reward.
December 2, 2025 at 8:25 PM
President Trump has, sadly, gone to his reward.
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When literally anyone asks me to do literally anything
December 2, 2025 at 5:18 PM
When literally anyone asks me to do literally anything
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Help! Help! I'm being chased by the Boston Strangler!
Without saying where you’re from, drop some slang from your city. I’m trying to see something.
December 2, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Help! Help! I'm being chased by the Boston Strangler!
My wife just took an old pregnancy test we didn't realize had expired during the George W. Bush presidency and her result was "Ace of ♣️: Qusay Hussein". We don't know how to read this or why the Defense department made a bunch of Iraqi Most Wanted playing card branded urine tests. Is Qusay good news
December 2, 2025 at 3:24 PM
My wife just took an old pregnancy test we didn't realize had expired during the George W. Bush presidency and her result was "Ace of ♣️: Qusay Hussein". We don't know how to read this or why the Defense department made a bunch of Iraqi Most Wanted playing card branded urine tests. Is Qusay good news
AAAARGH!!! The children once AGAIN entered my forbidden studio while I was engaged in erotic dance. Don't worry, all they saw was father luxuriating against a curtain of sensuous silks alone, but they were SUPPOSED to be in the parlor while Alexa read to them from Michael Cunningham's 'The Hours'.
December 2, 2025 at 4:41 AM
AAAARGH!!! The children once AGAIN entered my forbidden studio while I was engaged in erotic dance. Don't worry, all they saw was father luxuriating against a curtain of sensuous silks alone, but they were SUPPOSED to be in the parlor while Alexa read to them from Michael Cunningham's 'The Hours'.
I dropped a lit Yuzu Vanilla Breeze candle in the toilet and it ignited a trapped pocket of natural gas in the plumbing that detonated tearing shrapnel of pipe metal and drywall through all of my careful decorative tilework
December 2, 2025 at 4:19 AM
I dropped a lit Yuzu Vanilla Breeze candle in the toilet and it ignited a trapped pocket of natural gas in the plumbing that detonated tearing shrapnel of pipe metal and drywall through all of my careful decorative tilework
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
none of those words are in the bible <hard wet cough> oh my god it’s blood
December 2, 2025 at 1:56 AM
none of those words are in the bible <hard wet cough> oh my god it’s blood
Help! Help! I'm being chased by the Boston Strangler!
Without saying where you’re from, drop some slang from your city. I’m trying to see something.
December 2, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Help! Help! I'm being chased by the Boston Strangler!
Jumped out of the chair and did a dab because my barbershop just gave this millennial such an epic broccoli fade
December 2, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Jumped out of the chair and did a dab because my barbershop just gave this millennial such an epic broccoli fade
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm finally fulfilling my dream of wasting my life posting every hand captured line of dialogue in silence of the lambs
December 1, 2025 at 5:38 AM
I'm finally fulfilling my dream of wasting my life posting every hand captured line of dialogue in silence of the lambs
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*his big mosquito ass is starting to look a little nice with it* okay dude thats enough. seriously stop
December 2, 2025 at 12:05 AM
*his big mosquito ass is starting to look a little nice with it* okay dude thats enough. seriously stop
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
mosquito using way too much hip and pelvic movement while it sucks my blood and im getting uncomfortable
December 1, 2025 at 11:51 PM
mosquito using way too much hip and pelvic movement while it sucks my blood and im getting uncomfortable
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Name
mike
Status
married but looking
About Me
i'm like if mr glass from unbreakable wouldn't wear a condom
< Swipe Yes | Super Swipe Yes >
mike
Status
married but looking
About Me
i'm like if mr glass from unbreakable wouldn't wear a condom
< Swipe Yes | Super Swipe Yes >
November 28, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Name
mike
Status
married but looking
About Me
i'm like if mr glass from unbreakable wouldn't wear a condom
< Swipe Yes | Super Swipe Yes >
mike
Status
married but looking
About Me
i'm like if mr glass from unbreakable wouldn't wear a condom
< Swipe Yes | Super Swipe Yes >
Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ME: Hey Chief! Check this out! (balancing a pen on my nose)
POLICE CHIEF: That’s wonderful, Detective. Where are we at on the Amelia Earhart case?
ME: We found her but shes straight now
POLICE CHIEF: That’s wonderful, Detective. Where are we at on the Amelia Earhart case?
ME: We found her but shes straight now
December 1, 2025 at 8:04 PM
ME: Hey Chief! Check this out! (balancing a pen on my nose)
POLICE CHIEF: That’s wonderful, Detective. Where are we at on the Amelia Earhart case?
ME: We found her but shes straight now
POLICE CHIEF: That’s wonderful, Detective. Where are we at on the Amelia Earhart case?
ME: We found her but shes straight now
"I'll always defend trans right BUT—"
You can stop right there. Oh and while I have your ear, everything after blood sugar sex magik has SUCKED
You can stop right there. Oh and while I have your ear, everything after blood sugar sex magik has SUCKED
December 1, 2025 at 6:59 PM
"I'll always defend trans right BUT—"
You can stop right there. Oh and while I have your ear, everything after blood sugar sex magik has SUCKED
You can stop right there. Oh and while I have your ear, everything after blood sugar sex magik has SUCKED
i love to connect with others, on-line
December 1, 2025 at 4:15 PM
i love to connect with others, on-line