Marc
@runoldman.bsky.social
Wannabe comedian, Disabled Veteran, Boricua, Bills Mafia, Mental Health 🇺🇲🇵🇷
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaap7iaf2hjbm
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Pinned
Marc
@runoldman.bsky.social
· Dec 31
I was going to start a new diet for New Years but there's a bunch of old diets I haven't finish yet.
Reposted by Marc
Overheard at the dentist for romance book characters:
Fabio, you've got to wait until her nipples are not pebble hard. You're gonna keep chipping your teeth if you don't. And Natasha, no more chipping teeth on his velvet wrapped rod of steel. You both need to work on your technique. Seriously. WTF.
Fabio, you've got to wait until her nipples are not pebble hard. You're gonna keep chipping your teeth if you don't. And Natasha, no more chipping teeth on his velvet wrapped rod of steel. You both need to work on your technique. Seriously. WTF.
November 19, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Overheard at the dentist for romance book characters:
Fabio, you've got to wait until her nipples are not pebble hard. You're gonna keep chipping your teeth if you don't. And Natasha, no more chipping teeth on his velvet wrapped rod of steel. You both need to work on your technique. Seriously. WTF.
Fabio, you've got to wait until her nipples are not pebble hard. You're gonna keep chipping your teeth if you don't. And Natasha, no more chipping teeth on his velvet wrapped rod of steel. You both need to work on your technique. Seriously. WTF.
Reposted by Marc
Without a devastating relationship with someone born in 1978 would I easily remember the 78 in my mom's wifi password? I think not
November 19, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Without a devastating relationship with someone born in 1978 would I easily remember the 78 in my mom's wifi password? I think not
Reposted by Marc
AC/DC comes over the loudspeakers and I start to sing
Five whispers something in daddy’s ear.
Daddy to Five: All old people know this song, honey.
Five whispers something in daddy’s ear.
Daddy to Five: All old people know this song, honey.
November 9, 2025 at 3:31 PM
AC/DC comes over the loudspeakers and I start to sing
Five whispers something in daddy’s ear.
Daddy to Five: All old people know this song, honey.
Five whispers something in daddy’s ear.
Daddy to Five: All old people know this song, honey.
Reposted by Marc
<chat>
Amazon help: why are you returning this item?
Me: it’s defective
Amazon help: M’am your body is not available for..wtf we don’t even do that here!
Me: what about now? *sends gif of little girl smirking while a house burns down in the background
Amazon help: still no
Me: <end chat>
Amazon help: why are you returning this item?
Me: it’s defective
Amazon help: M’am your body is not available for..wtf we don’t even do that here!
Me: what about now? *sends gif of little girl smirking while a house burns down in the background
Amazon help: still no
Me: <end chat>
November 18, 2025 at 8:12 PM
<chat>
Amazon help: why are you returning this item?
Me: it’s defective
Amazon help: M’am your body is not available for..wtf we don’t even do that here!
Me: what about now? *sends gif of little girl smirking while a house burns down in the background
Amazon help: still no
Me: <end chat>
Amazon help: why are you returning this item?
Me: it’s defective
Amazon help: M’am your body is not available for..wtf we don’t even do that here!
Me: what about now? *sends gif of little girl smirking while a house burns down in the background
Amazon help: still no
Me: <end chat>
Reposted by Marc
It’s going to be great to see the redacted un-redacted redacted files today!
November 18, 2025 at 3:12 PM
It’s going to be great to see the redacted un-redacted redacted files today!
Reposted by Marc
Talking to the mirror
Me: I like it rough!
Mirror: I think you meant to say looking rough *laughing out loud*
Burnnnnnn
Me:
Mirror:
Me: You can’t hurt my feelings!!
Also me: runs out of the bedroom slamming the door behind me
Me: I like it rough!
Mirror: I think you meant to say looking rough *laughing out loud*
Burnnnnnn
Me:
Mirror:
Me: You can’t hurt my feelings!!
Also me: runs out of the bedroom slamming the door behind me
November 18, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Talking to the mirror
Me: I like it rough!
Mirror: I think you meant to say looking rough *laughing out loud*
Burnnnnnn
Me:
Mirror:
Me: You can’t hurt my feelings!!
Also me: runs out of the bedroom slamming the door behind me
Me: I like it rough!
Mirror: I think you meant to say looking rough *laughing out loud*
Burnnnnnn
Me:
Mirror:
Me: You can’t hurt my feelings!!
Also me: runs out of the bedroom slamming the door behind me
Reposted by Marc
wife: would you ever pay for sex?
me: before I respond is this a serious offer and how much are you asking for?
me: before I respond is this a serious offer and how much are you asking for?
November 18, 2025 at 1:57 PM
wife: would you ever pay for sex?
me: before I respond is this a serious offer and how much are you asking for?
me: before I respond is this a serious offer and how much are you asking for?
Reposted by Marc
watching Milli Vanilli videos just to feel something
November 13, 2025 at 7:02 PM
watching Milli Vanilli videos just to feel something
Reposted by Marc
golden schmolden
when are we getting a midlife crisis bachelor series
when are we getting a midlife crisis bachelor series
November 19, 2025 at 12:36 PM
golden schmolden
when are we getting a midlife crisis bachelor series
when are we getting a midlife crisis bachelor series
Reposted by Marc
Good night y'all. Be kind to each other, and more importantly, yourselves.
November 19, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Good night y'all. Be kind to each other, and more importantly, yourselves.
Reposted by Marc
Good morning, y'all.
November 19, 2025 at 10:41 AM
Good morning, y'all.
Reposted by Marc
I'm a pretty terrible person, but I do know that "I'm sorry" and "I love you" should never be followed by "if" or "but."
November 18, 2024 at 1:45 PM
I'm a pretty terrible person, but I do know that "I'm sorry" and "I love you" should never be followed by "if" or "but."
Reposted by Marc
i ate way too much salad
- a memoir
- a memoir
November 19, 2025 at 5:44 AM
i ate way too much salad
- a memoir
- a memoir
Reposted by Marc
gif that pops up when I type my name
November 19, 2025 at 7:15 AM
gif that pops up when I type my name
Reposted by Marc
Random GIF.
No explanation.
Go...
No explanation.
Go...
November 19, 2025 at 7:19 AM
Random GIF.
No explanation.
Go...
No explanation.
Go...
Reposted by Marc
I don’t ask for much, but I do ask that everybody wang chung tonight
November 18, 2025 at 8:13 PM
I don’t ask for much, but I do ask that everybody wang chung tonight
Reposted by Marc
I can’t help but notice that your weird matches my weird
Sup??
Sup??
November 19, 2025 at 12:21 AM
I can’t help but notice that your weird matches my weird
Sup??
Sup??
Reposted by Marc
the joke’s on you, haters
being blocked is my #1 kink
thank you 😮💨
being blocked is my #1 kink
thank you 😮💨
November 19, 2025 at 1:08 PM
the joke’s on you, haters
being blocked is my #1 kink
thank you 😮💨
being blocked is my #1 kink
thank you 😮💨
Reposted by Marc
Some of you don’t know how to plant a seed and its sows.
November 18, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Some of you don’t know how to plant a seed and its sows.
Reposted by Marc
I’ve told my wife that I’ll only haunt her after I’m gone if she moves to a bar.
November 18, 2025 at 9:41 PM
I’ve told my wife that I’ll only haunt her after I’m gone if she moves to a bar.
Reposted by Marc
Release the Trumpstein PedoFILES NOW!
November 19, 2025 at 11:39 AM
Release the Trumpstein PedoFILES NOW!
Reposted by Marc
🎼She loves me, ye ye ye!
She loves me, ye ye ye!
She loves me, ye ye ye!🎶
*depression
She loves me, ye ye ye!
She loves me, ye ye ye!🎶
*depression
November 18, 2025 at 8:01 PM
🎼She loves me, ye ye ye!
She loves me, ye ye ye!
She loves me, ye ye ye!🎶
*depression
She loves me, ye ye ye!
She loves me, ye ye ye!🎶
*depression
Reposted by Marc
One day I'll find that magical lake in Sweden where those delicious fish come from
November 18, 2025 at 9:54 PM
One day I'll find that magical lake in Sweden where those delicious fish come from
Reposted by Marc
I'm surprised Pepperidge farm can even remember their own name after the shit I've seen them do at a few parties
November 18, 2025 at 10:40 PM
I'm surprised Pepperidge farm can even remember their own name after the shit I've seen them do at a few parties
Reposted by Marc
Several jellyfish don't even know they're haunted and the ones who do don't even know. It's still no excuse to just sting your texts and never get back to you
November 18, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Several jellyfish don't even know they're haunted and the ones who do don't even know. It's still no excuse to just sting your texts and never get back to you