Melissa
@pretzel365.bsky.social
username is a reference to the show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and also I love pretzels
she/her
pfp by @bound-light.bsky.social
she/her
pfp by @bound-light.bsky.social
Reposted by Melissa
December 14, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Reposted by Melissa
Born to jest, forced to joust
December 14, 2025 at 6:37 AM
Born to jest, forced to joust
Reposted by Melissa
twilight princess and portal are very similar games in that u r solving platformer puzzles while a girl is mean to you
December 13, 2025 at 8:43 PM
twilight princess and portal are very similar games in that u r solving platformer puzzles while a girl is mean to you
idk if I've ever felt "older pretending to be young" than earlier today when I used a shoehorn to put on my fake Uggs
December 12, 2025 at 2:02 AM
idk if I've ever felt "older pretending to be young" than earlier today when I used a shoehorn to put on my fake Uggs
Reposted by Melissa
you'll spend your entire life thinking "that's not her, not really" and pushing the thought away. you'll never truly grieve. you'll become attached to a simulacrum, something that isn't your grandmother & never was; it will eventually replace her in your memory. you will live in hell before you die
IN DEPTH | If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
www.independent.co.uk
December 10, 2025 at 5:46 PM
you'll spend your entire life thinking "that's not her, not really" and pushing the thought away. you'll never truly grieve. you'll become attached to a simulacrum, something that isn't your grandmother & never was; it will eventually replace her in your memory. you will live in hell before you die
Reposted by Melissa
Hey all,
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
Fellowship
theonion.com
December 3, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Hey all,
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
Reposted by Melissa
Remember folks: if you have any small amount of artistic talent, any sex appeal, or can make your friends laugh, the richest man on earth is crying screaming throwing up because he can’t be you.
December 6, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Remember folks: if you have any small amount of artistic talent, any sex appeal, or can make your friends laugh, the richest man on earth is crying screaming throwing up because he can’t be you.
Reposted by Melissa
Reposted by Melissa
You gotta be silly, dude. At least a little bit. You gotta have a spring in your step and a smile in your heart or else none of this matters
November 30, 2025 at 6:27 PM
You gotta be silly, dude. At least a little bit. You gotta have a spring in your step and a smile in your heart or else none of this matters
Reposted by Melissa
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
pretty cool that I'm welcomed among the youngest adult contingent of the cousins although I am old enough to have babysat all of them, because hanging out with all the adults who have children (and said children) takes a toll, and there's only so much I can tune out while reading on my phone
November 28, 2025 at 1:16 AM
pretty cool that I'm welcomed among the youngest adult contingent of the cousins although I am old enough to have babysat all of them, because hanging out with all the adults who have children (and said children) takes a toll, and there's only so much I can tune out while reading on my phone
Reposted by Melissa
Help us send 2,000 books to readers who are incarcerated this winter through our Books Not Bars program
Books Not Bars 2025 Holiday Campaign
BOOKS NOT BARS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Haymarket Books is committed to making our books available for free to people who are incarcerated.
In an effort to support those inside who are dealing with the imm...
haymarketbooks.app.neoncrm.com
November 23, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Help us send 2,000 books to readers who are incarcerated this winter through our Books Not Bars program
Reposted by Melissa
🧵 We are, in fact, doing the thing again for @onesimplewish.bsky.social. In 2024, the kind people of this community put the money cannon on blast to help grant $75K in wishes for children in foster care. Toys, tech, a suit for job interviews. Here we go again! 👇
www.onesimplewish.org/giving/megwa...
www.onesimplewish.org/giving/megwa...
November 21, 2025 at 4:54 PM
🧵 We are, in fact, doing the thing again for @onesimplewish.bsky.social. In 2024, the kind people of this community put the money cannon on blast to help grant $75K in wishes for children in foster care. Toys, tech, a suit for job interviews. Here we go again! 👇
www.onesimplewish.org/giving/megwa...
www.onesimplewish.org/giving/megwa...
Reposted by Melissa
Whistles are one of the most accessible tools in resisting ICE.
Here’s how to use them:
Here’s how to use them:
November 20, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Whistles are one of the most accessible tools in resisting ICE.
Here’s how to use them:
Here’s how to use them:
Reposted by Melissa
Apple: Here, use some AI
Scrivener: I would prefer not to.
Scrivener: I would prefer not to.
Not satisfied with just destroying their own brand goodwill, OS companies are now using AI to try to destroy the good names of the apps users install. (Scrivener taking out adds to explain how it has no AI but Apple adds some anyway.)
November 19, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Apple: Here, use some AI
Scrivener: I would prefer not to.
Scrivener: I would prefer not to.
Reposted by Melissa
Solange Knowles’ Saint Heron has launched a free digital archival library of literature by Black and brown authors, poets, and artists. Readers can borrow rare and out-of-print books for up to 45 days
Solange Opens Free Digital Library Of Rare Black Books
Solange has launched a digital library archive of Black and brown authors where readers can borrow books at no cost.
peopleofcolorintech.com
November 18, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Solange Knowles’ Saint Heron has launched a free digital archival library of literature by Black and brown authors, poets, and artists. Readers can borrow rare and out-of-print books for up to 45 days
Reposted by Melissa
November 19, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Reposted by Melissa
“She explained how much Covid could hurt her & how vulnerable it felt to be unable to wear a mask to protect herself.
She was a perfect example of why other people need to wear masks even if they don’t personally think Covid will hurt them”
If you want to honour Alice Wong’s memory, please mask up
She was a perfect example of why other people need to wear masks even if they don’t personally think Covid will hurt them”
If you want to honour Alice Wong’s memory, please mask up
Thank You Alice Wong
Alice Wong has passed away and the disability community has lost a leader. I lost a mentor and a friend. The Disabled Ginger wouldn't exist without Alice and everything she taught me.
www.disabledginger.com
November 16, 2025 at 4:48 AM
“She explained how much Covid could hurt her & how vulnerable it felt to be unable to wear a mask to protect herself.
She was a perfect example of why other people need to wear masks even if they don’t personally think Covid will hurt them”
If you want to honour Alice Wong’s memory, please mask up
She was a perfect example of why other people need to wear masks even if they don’t personally think Covid will hurt them”
If you want to honour Alice Wong’s memory, please mask up
Reposted by Melissa
I wanted to share probably the most important sermon I’ve given and it’s while I’m being arrested. It’s torture pure and simple what happens at #Broadview. I’m ok, though I was thrown to the ground and choked with my pectoral cross. A review of the video shows I was peaceful - did I deserve this?
November 15, 2025 at 5:57 AM
I wanted to share probably the most important sermon I’ve given and it’s while I’m being arrested. It’s torture pure and simple what happens at #Broadview. I’m ok, though I was thrown to the ground and choked with my pectoral cross. A review of the video shows I was peaceful - did I deserve this?
Reposted by Melissa
Stephen King: “I wrote Pet Sematary as a cautionary tale of what happens when a grief and despair overpower the order of a natural world”
Tech Bros: “At long last, we have recreated the pet sematary from the novel Pet Sematary”
Tech Bros: “At long last, we have recreated the pet sematary from the novel Pet Sematary”
November 14, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Stephen King: “I wrote Pet Sematary as a cautionary tale of what happens when a grief and despair overpower the order of a natural world”
Tech Bros: “At long last, we have recreated the pet sematary from the novel Pet Sematary”
Tech Bros: “At long last, we have recreated the pet sematary from the novel Pet Sematary”
Reposted by Melissa
Christ, just see a therapist! We all die and that sucks! There's no way this isn't prolonging bargaining or denial stages of grief.
November 14, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Christ, just see a therapist! We all die and that sucks! There's no way this isn't prolonging bargaining or denial stages of grief.
Reposted by Melissa
Don’t allow tech to turn you into an un-person. Refuse to let AI make things you could produce with your own brain. Develop your mental & creative faculties. Read constantly. They want you illiterate, and nothing threatens them more than a brain that is sharp and intact.
November 13, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Don’t allow tech to turn you into an un-person. Refuse to let AI make things you could produce with your own brain. Develop your mental & creative faculties. Read constantly. They want you illiterate, and nothing threatens them more than a brain that is sharp and intact.
Reposted by Melissa
there's a moment in PARADISE LOST where Satan arrives in Eden and realizes Hell isn't a place; it's a thing he carries within him and it'll follow him wherever he goes. and i think about that when i see these awful rich men whose monstrous wealth has enriched them not at all
“whatever club he’s invited to join has been devalued by the invitation”
November 11, 2025 at 6:31 AM
there's a moment in PARADISE LOST where Satan arrives in Eden and realizes Hell isn't a place; it's a thing he carries within him and it'll follow him wherever he goes. and i think about that when i see these awful rich men whose monstrous wealth has enriched them not at all
Reposted by Melissa
Truth Coming Out Of Her Well To Shame Mankind - 2025.
June 16, 2025 at 5:19 AM
Truth Coming Out Of Her Well To Shame Mankind - 2025.