dracaena marginalia
@opheliainwaders.bsky.social
Arts, progressivism, nature, shenanigans.
Photo: NOAA. Opinions: my own.
Photo: NOAA. Opinions: my own.
Legend has it that when I was a baby our pets (a semi-domesticated former barn cat and a large, overprotective malamute) went out on Thanksgiving and returned, together, with an entire cooked turkey.
yes, hello, I would like to place an order for everyone’s funniest stories of holiday food-related family grudges / drama / chaotic incidents / lore
I feel like we need this
I feel like we need this
November 25, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Legend has it that when I was a baby our pets (a semi-domesticated former barn cat and a large, overprotective malamute) went out on Thanksgiving and returned, together, with an entire cooked turkey.
Reposted by dracaena marginalia
this reminds me that I love telling the story of the first time I went to Confession as a kid and very gravely told Father Harrington that I had picked the whole crust off the pie my mom had baked for guests that night and ate it because I was mad at her, which made him laugh so hard he cried
When I was a kid Ma was known for her desserts. Her Thanksgiving job was several pies, fruit and meat, all with homemade crust. One year her crusts were ruined in a baking accident and she had to use frozen store bought. Did 10-year-old me announce that fact to the whole family? I sure did.
November 24, 2025 at 11:48 PM
this reminds me that I love telling the story of the first time I went to Confession as a kid and very gravely told Father Harrington that I had picked the whole crust off the pie my mom had baked for guests that night and ate it because I was mad at her, which made him laugh so hard he cried
It’s not often that I wish I were a lawyer
1) good, they should be prosecuted, they are responsible for countless deaths
2) always very funny when these people realize the extent to which their billionaire patrons could not possibly give less of a shit about them
2) always very funny when these people realize the extent to which their billionaire patrons could not possibly give less of a shit about them
'Suddenly exposed' DOGE employees fear prosecution after Musk abandoned them: report
www.rawstory.com/doge-employe...
www.rawstory.com/doge-employe...
November 23, 2025 at 12:10 PM
It’s not often that I wish I were a lawyer
Reposted by dracaena marginalia
I bet Zohran just Remembered Some Guys with Trump. Crazy Eddie. Dr. Zizmor. Jacoby & Meyers.
November 22, 2025 at 5:56 PM
I bet Zohran just Remembered Some Guys with Trump. Crazy Eddie. Dr. Zizmor. Jacoby & Meyers.
So like, do we think Mamdani went straight to one of those chemical showers, or…?
November 22, 2025 at 2:38 PM
So like, do we think Mamdani went straight to one of those chemical showers, or…?
Ooh, in the bathroom of a Chinese restaurant in Papeete. (It was not the restaurant’s fault; I was pregnant.)
what's the most exotic place you've ever puked? mine's not exactly exotic but i did once have a hangover at the nyc facebook office and barfed in their very nice bathroom
Got food poisoning from Fogo De Chao. Puked out the side of a moving cab along beautiful Copacabana Beach. The most exotic place I'll probably ever puke!
November 22, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Ooh, in the bathroom of a Chinese restaurant in Papeete. (It was not the restaurant’s fault; I was pregnant.)
I’m a lunatic who actually really likes public speaking, and this is the way.
The single greatest skill in public speaking is in being able to walk onto a stage and immediately identify who in the audience is going to be your sympathetic listener and then just talking to them
Be the person in the audience who smiles and nods.
November 21, 2025 at 6:04 PM
I’m a lunatic who actually really likes public speaking, and this is the way.
Oh, so will they be serving food?
…
Ah, ok. Free luggage then?
…
Seats where your knees don’t touch the seat in front of you?
…
Right.
…
Ah, ok. Free luggage then?
…
Seats where your knees don’t touch the seat in front of you?
…
Right.
Trump's Transportation Secretary on how to improve air travel:
"People dress up like they're going to bed when they fly... We want to push people as we come into a really busy travel season, help people out, be in a good mood, dress up"
"People dress up like they're going to bed when they fly... We want to push people as we come into a really busy travel season, help people out, be in a good mood, dress up"
November 20, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Oh, so will they be serving food?
…
Ah, ok. Free luggage then?
…
Seats where your knees don’t touch the seat in front of you?
…
Right.
…
Ah, ok. Free luggage then?
…
Seats where your knees don’t touch the seat in front of you?
…
Right.
Reposted by dracaena marginalia
[googling] does using a VPN negate the implicit bargain made when downloading the Fae
November 20, 2025 at 9:54 PM
[googling] does using a VPN negate the implicit bargain made when downloading the Fae
JCO cannot stop winning 💀💀💀
November 20, 2025 at 8:36 PM
JCO cannot stop winning 💀💀💀
Someone tried this on me once (like 20 years ago) and he was so incredibly flabbergasted when I called him out and started laughing, it was amazing.
The biggest think pickup artist culture didn't/doesn't understand is that negging only works on the kind of woman that negging would work on!
It's the dating version of this
It's the dating version of this
November 20, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Someone tried this on me once (like 20 years ago) and he was so incredibly flabbergasted when I called him out and started laughing, it was amazing.
Immune system not working well?
Problematic phage gap.
Problematic phage gap.
Your tiger is out?
Problematic cage gap
Problematic cage gap
Your thanksgiving stuffing doesn’t taste right?
Problematic sage gap.
Problematic sage gap.
November 19, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Immune system not working well?
Problematic phage gap.
Problematic phage gap.
It wasn’t even the only river to catch on fire! Just the most notorious! It also caught fire *multiple times*
Literally just lectured about this!
In the late 1960s, air quality was so bad in several cities they had to turn on the street lights during the day so drivers could see. And yeah, the Cuyahoga River was so polluted it literally caught on fire.
In the late 1960s, air quality was so bad in several cities they had to turn on the street lights during the day so drivers could see. And yeah, the Cuyahoga River was so polluted it literally caught on fire.
Oh, I don’t know. Our rivers no longer catch on fire and our air is far less poisonous than it used to be, even in smog bowls like Los Angeles. And I think those are good things.
November 19, 2025 at 8:59 PM
It wasn’t even the only river to catch on fire! Just the most notorious! It also caught fire *multiple times*
So I stole a pair of my husband’s socks for hiking last weekend, and somehow that resulted in a GNARLY blister despite my boots being extremely broken-in, and now it’s healing and my heel is SO ITCHY.
November 19, 2025 at 8:57 PM
So I stole a pair of my husband’s socks for hiking last weekend, and somehow that resulted in a GNARLY blister despite my boots being extremely broken-in, and now it’s healing and my heel is SO ITCHY.
Reposted by dracaena marginalia
We can never forget that authoritarianism is the security blanket of the toweringly mediocre
November 19, 2025 at 4:55 PM
We can never forget that authoritarianism is the security blanket of the toweringly mediocre
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to account for the cost of externalities in the price of fossil fuels.
November 19, 2025 at 1:06 PM
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to account for the cost of externalities in the price of fossil fuels.
I absolutely don’t believe in ghosts but also I’m really careful about letting any of my limbs dangle over the edge of the bed
do you believe in ghosts or are you like me, a person who finds themself saying all the time “I absolutely don’t believe in ghosts, but this place has ghosts.”
November 19, 2025 at 12:17 PM
I absolutely don’t believe in ghosts but also I’m really careful about letting any of my limbs dangle over the edge of the bed
This reminds me that when L was in 4th grade her class had a pet rabbit that was white with dark fur around its eyes, and they named it Billie Eyelash
November 19, 2025 at 2:41 AM
This reminds me that when L was in 4th grade her class had a pet rabbit that was white with dark fur around its eyes, and they named it Billie Eyelash
My family refers to MA “house of” pizza as “unpizza”
apparently they made up “south shore pizza,” meaning the Massachusetts south shore and brother, I grew up there and there is no such thing as south shore pizza
November 19, 2025 at 1:12 AM
My family refers to MA “house of” pizza as “unpizza”
Reposted by dracaena marginalia
Are you an Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) enrollee? Have your monthly premiums increased?
We want to hear from you: https://bit.ly/47tEo8n
We want to hear from you: https://bit.ly/47tEo8n
November 18, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Are you an Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) enrollee? Have your monthly premiums increased?
We want to hear from you: https://bit.ly/47tEo8n
We want to hear from you: https://bit.ly/47tEo8n
I literally just (this morning, 3 days late, sorry!!) took a university harassment prevention training and it’s actually very clear that the consequences of harassment include things such as termination or revocation of tenure. I don’t know what’s in Harvard’s policies, but I’d imagine it’s similar.
2/2 Summers did some disgusting predatory stuff. It's genuinely not clear to me whether it would legitimately be grounds for tenure revocation. But I would hope that folks at Harvard are looking into it.
November 18, 2025 at 4:57 PM
I literally just (this morning, 3 days late, sorry!!) took a university harassment prevention training and it’s actually very clear that the consequences of harassment include things such as termination or revocation of tenure. I don’t know what’s in Harvard’s policies, but I’d imagine it’s similar.
Reposted by dracaena marginalia
"part one"
the most ominous of threats
the most ominous of threats
November 18, 2025 at 2:09 AM
"part one"
the most ominous of threats
the most ominous of threats
Earlier this evening
November 18, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Earlier this evening
PUT IT IN MY VEINS
My friend P just told me about this! Omg, how have we not been voting for Duchess…? Let’s get this done, people!
lithub.com/what-was-lit...
lithub.com/what-was-lit...
What Was Literary Twitter? The Bracket
We are gathered here to celebrate the brief, bright, Roman Candle life of Literary Twitter, a mesmerizing and maddening place where the most talented writers used to rub shoulders with the most unb…
lithub.com
November 17, 2025 at 11:20 PM
PUT IT IN MY VEINS
Reposted by dracaena marginalia
The best part at the end is when she says “sending PACKAGES across the country Dana?!?!” like it’s a crazy new thing Gen Z is doing
Fox guest on how to save money during the holidays:
"Remember, adults don't need gifts. Focus on the people in your life who are aged 3 to 18. Grandma doesn't need slippers. If they don't live by you, don't get them a gift."
"Remember, adults don't need gifts. Focus on the people in your life who are aged 3 to 18. Grandma doesn't need slippers. If they don't live by you, don't get them a gift."
November 17, 2025 at 10:42 PM
The best part at the end is when she says “sending PACKAGES across the country Dana?!?!” like it’s a crazy new thing Gen Z is doing