johnny myspace
@johnnymyspace.bsky.social
Are you there, Optimus Prime? It's me, Pubertina Maxima.
newest:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7vfnfjybwdixbbzryhnyz6nj/feed/aaam7nnpxc4xq
best of:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7vfnfjybwdixbbzryhnyz6nj/feed/aaan6zpm3jen4
newest:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7vfnfjybwdixbbzryhnyz6nj/feed/aaam7nnpxc4xq
best of:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7vfnfjybwdixbbzryhnyz6nj/feed/aaan6zpm3jen4
Pinned
Me, bumping into everyone at Aldi as I push 4 carts around: Sorry. I only had a dollar.
Hella cool if literal: helicopter parents
September 27, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Hella cool if literal: helicopter parents
Reposted by johnny myspace
INVENTION: pants you can fill with pudding
September 26, 2025 at 8:51 PM
INVENTION: pants you can fill with pudding
Reposted by johnny myspace
Sitting on the porch all day peeling and pitting a whole family size bag of peanut m&ms
September 26, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Sitting on the porch all day peeling and pitting a whole family size bag of peanut m&ms
Andre the Giant died the year Ariana Grande was born...skip a few steps in my thought process...Andre the Grande would have been a cool name.
September 26, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Andre the Giant died the year Ariana Grande was born...skip a few steps in my thought process...Andre the Grande would have been a cool name.
I don't have any paper, but I do have some Liquid Paper...so I guess I could make some.
September 25, 2025 at 11:59 PM
I don't have any paper, but I do have some Liquid Paper...so I guess I could make some.
Reposted by johnny myspace
always nice to see cooler heads prevail
September 24, 2025 at 8:40 PM
always nice to see cooler heads prevail
Reposted by johnny myspace
Get autism the normal way, off of a toilet seat.
September 24, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Get autism the normal way, off of a toilet seat.
Reposted by johnny myspace
I don't know what a man goes through right before putting a giant decal on his car, but I have bought many domain names
September 24, 2025 at 12:52 PM
I don't know what a man goes through right before putting a giant decal on his car, but I have bought many domain names
Chat, what are some good Mediterranean diet friendly options at Little Caesars?
September 24, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Chat, what are some good Mediterranean diet friendly options at Little Caesars?
Reposted by johnny myspace
Surrounded by children of the corn nuts.
September 24, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Surrounded by children of the corn nuts.
Reposted by johnny myspace
Attractive people tell the funniest jokes
September 24, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Attractive people tell the funniest jokes
Reposted by johnny myspace
I see you unfollowed me on Mastodon... BLOCKED
September 24, 2025 at 12:56 AM
I see you unfollowed me on Mastodon... BLOCKED
Reposted by johnny myspace
Thinking of learning sign language in case I get trapped inside the claw machine again.
September 23, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Thinking of learning sign language in case I get trapped inside the claw machine again.
Reposted by johnny myspace
[getting carried away by 55 ospreys]
Ooohhhhh the *RAPTORS* are coming
Ooohhhhh the *RAPTORS* are coming
September 23, 2025 at 2:59 PM
[getting carried away by 55 ospreys]
Ooohhhhh the *RAPTORS* are coming
Ooohhhhh the *RAPTORS* are coming
Oh no! My appendix just raptured!
September 23, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Oh no! My appendix just raptured!
sitting at the Chili's waiting for people to disappear so I can get some free southwestern egg rolls
September 23, 2025 at 10:36 AM
sitting at the Chili's waiting for people to disappear so I can get some free southwestern egg rolls
Reposted by johnny myspace
My girlfriend kept on asking me to go spelunking with her so eventually I caved.
September 22, 2025 at 12:50 PM
My girlfriend kept on asking me to go spelunking with her so eventually I caved.
Reposted by johnny myspace
please like my posts it's the only thing keeping me off the streets
September 22, 2025 at 5:07 AM
please like my posts it's the only thing keeping me off the streets
Reposted by johnny myspace
kinda looking forward to the rapture's effect on the housing crisis. renovating churches into tall-ceiling apartments. entire neighborhoods move-in-ready, furnished.
September 22, 2025 at 5:15 PM
kinda looking forward to the rapture's effect on the housing crisis. renovating churches into tall-ceiling apartments. entire neighborhoods move-in-ready, furnished.
Reposted by johnny myspace
son of a cuss i put diesel in the school bus and not magic
September 22, 2025 at 1:50 PM
son of a cuss i put diesel in the school bus and not magic
Jesus: No one can predict the date of my return.
An apostle: Is it September 23, 2025?
Jesus: Damnit.
An apostle: Is it September 23, 2025?
Jesus: Damnit.
September 22, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Jesus: No one can predict the date of my return.
An apostle: Is it September 23, 2025?
Jesus: Damnit.
An apostle: Is it September 23, 2025?
Jesus: Damnit.
Me, sliding up next to you in the cantina on Tatooine: You know, technically it's not even a star. Really it should be called the Death Hypermatter Reactor.
September 22, 2025 at 11:44 AM
Me, sliding up next to you in the cantina on Tatooine: You know, technically it's not even a star. Really it should be called the Death Hypermatter Reactor.
Reposted by johnny myspace
I only have a few friends but hopefully I’ll be able to get rid of them soon
September 21, 2025 at 1:36 PM
I only have a few friends but hopefully I’ll be able to get rid of them soon
Reposted by johnny myspace
GIRLFRIEND: Um...I don't know. I think this relationship is going too fast.
ME: *sitting on my racecar bed* Lol Sharon, it doesn't actually move.
ME: *sitting on my racecar bed* Lol Sharon, it doesn't actually move.
September 21, 2025 at 4:28 PM
GIRLFRIEND: Um...I don't know. I think this relationship is going too fast.
ME: *sitting on my racecar bed* Lol Sharon, it doesn't actually move.
ME: *sitting on my racecar bed* Lol Sharon, it doesn't actually move.
Reposted by johnny myspace
Friend: hey, are you free on…
Me: no, I have to like and repost that day
Me: no, I have to like and repost that day
September 20, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Friend: hey, are you free on…
Me: no, I have to like and repost that day
Me: no, I have to like and repost that day