Eric Wheeler
@ericwheeler.bsky.social
Fundamentals are the crutch of the talentless.
The Texans are the Toronto Raptors of the NFL playoffs. This game should be played at noon on a Wednesday.
January 13, 2026 at 3:28 AM
The Texans are the Toronto Raptors of the NFL playoffs. This game should be played at noon on a Wednesday.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
costco should be allowed to sell weed. i want the Kirkland Select Kush. a 300-count fish oil pill sized bottle of 5mg gummies would fix this country
January 12, 2026 at 10:58 PM
costco should be allowed to sell weed. i want the Kirkland Select Kush. a 300-count fish oil pill sized bottle of 5mg gummies would fix this country
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
My dream is to be a college football coach and make 15 million dollars a year to yell at 19 year olds that they need to take the Bisquick Pancake & Baking Mix Bowl more seriously. My wife has a severe haircut, I cheat on her with several women named “Applebee’s Tami”
December 27, 2025 at 7:46 AM
My dream is to be a college football coach and make 15 million dollars a year to yell at 19 year olds that they need to take the Bisquick Pancake & Baking Mix Bowl more seriously. My wife has a severe haircut, I cheat on her with several women named “Applebee’s Tami”
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Seeing Michael Clayton say he’s 45
January 4, 2026 at 3:38 AM
Seeing Michael Clayton say he’s 45
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
January 8, 2026 at 2:18 PM
i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
Props to John Travolta for fucking every last penny he could out of Grease.
January 1, 2026 at 9:57 PM
Props to John Travolta for fucking every last penny he could out of Grease.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
when the edible and adderall kick in at the same time
November 22, 2025 at 6:27 PM
when the edible and adderall kick in at the same time
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Today in “Dudes Rock”:
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
December 12, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Today in “Dudes Rock”:
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
her: do you remember the guy who kept getting fired as a salvation army santa
me: doesn't ring a bell
her: yeah, that's the guy
me: doesn't ring a bell
her: yeah, that's the guy
December 24, 2023 at 10:09 PM
her: do you remember the guy who kept getting fired as a salvation army santa
me: doesn't ring a bell
her: yeah, that's the guy
me: doesn't ring a bell
her: yeah, that's the guy
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Dec 24th - John McClane prevents Hans Gruber from stealing $640 million in untraceable bearer bonds from the vault in Nakatomi Plaza.
📽️📅 Die Hard (1988)
📽️📅 Die Hard (1988)
December 24, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Dec 24th - John McClane prevents Hans Gruber from stealing $640 million in untraceable bearer bonds from the vault in Nakatomi Plaza.
📽️📅 Die Hard (1988)
📽️📅 Die Hard (1988)
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
December 18, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what
December 2, 2025 at 2:01 AM
slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
I'm at the combination
December 4, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I'm at the combination
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
*asking about a 4000 year gap on a resume* now it says here you were in “The Bog”?
November 20, 2025 at 1:24 AM
*asking about a 4000 year gap on a resume* now it says here you were in “The Bog”?
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
We live in an episode of Veep
October 28, 2025 at 6:17 PM
We live in an episode of Veep
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Most people have guardian angels. I have a possum with a crow bar whispering ‘let’s make it worse’
October 23, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Most people have guardian angels. I have a possum with a crow bar whispering ‘let’s make it worse’
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
It's been a FUN couple of days!
With 48 hours until game time, both teams are over the $10k mark and the race to Chair-ity Champion is heating up!
College football fans coming together to support their communities, it's what it's all about! Donate below!
BrokenChairTrophy.com
With 48 hours until game time, both teams are over the $10k mark and the race to Chair-ity Champion is heating up!
College football fans coming together to support their communities, it's what it's all about! Donate below!
BrokenChairTrophy.com
October 15, 2025 at 10:07 PM
It's been a FUN couple of days!
With 48 hours until game time, both teams are over the $10k mark and the race to Chair-ity Champion is heating up!
College football fans coming together to support their communities, it's what it's all about! Donate below!
BrokenChairTrophy.com
With 48 hours until game time, both teams are over the $10k mark and the race to Chair-ity Champion is heating up!
College football fans coming together to support their communities, it's what it's all about! Donate below!
BrokenChairTrophy.com
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
perfect Wikipedia sequence
August 17, 2025 at 12:07 AM
perfect Wikipedia sequence
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
great art is supposed to make us uncomfortable
the liberty mutual guy is fucking that emu right
October 4, 2025 at 3:04 AM
great art is supposed to make us uncomfortable
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
With Dave and Busters, it’s pretty clear which one handled the finances and which one handled the video games.
April 1, 2025 at 8:33 PM
With Dave and Busters, it’s pretty clear which one handled the finances and which one handled the video games.
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
this is basically portland's version of a haka
Portland enacts emergency powers of nudity to check federal overreach.
October 1, 2025 at 9:41 PM
this is basically portland's version of a haka
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Orion: you guys wanna see something sick
Everyone: is it your fuckass belt again
Orion: ...
Everyone: is it your fuckass belt again
Orion: ...
October 2, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Orion: you guys wanna see something sick
Everyone: is it your fuckass belt again
Orion: ...
Everyone: is it your fuckass belt again
Orion: ...
Reposted by Eric Wheeler
Pepsi A.M. (1989-1990): Pepsi Cola with 28% more caffeine, marketed as a morning drink to replace coffee or tea. Available in regular or 1-calorie diet
March 27, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Pepsi A.M. (1989-1990): Pepsi Cola with 28% more caffeine, marketed as a morning drink to replace coffee or tea. Available in regular or 1-calorie diet