Reposted by Jackson
Did you lose an umbrella near the wallaby enclosure? Please come claim it at our security office. Whoever dropped their wallet into the python habitat can get it themselves.
July 15, 2025 at 1:46 PM
Did you lose an umbrella near the wallaby enclosure? Please come claim it at our security office. Whoever dropped their wallet into the python habitat can get it themselves.
Reposted by Jackson
Old Woman: You're so handsome
Me: aw thank you
Old Woman: You look like my husband
Me: awww
Old Woman: Late husband
Me: uh
Old Woman: [leans over, whispers] After I ran over him with his own fucking Buick
Me: aw thank you
Old Woman: You look like my husband
Me: awww
Old Woman: Late husband
Me: uh
Old Woman: [leans over, whispers] After I ran over him with his own fucking Buick
July 14, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Old Woman: You're so handsome
Me: aw thank you
Old Woman: You look like my husband
Me: awww
Old Woman: Late husband
Me: uh
Old Woman: [leans over, whispers] After I ran over him with his own fucking Buick
Me: aw thank you
Old Woman: You look like my husband
Me: awww
Old Woman: Late husband
Me: uh
Old Woman: [leans over, whispers] After I ran over him with his own fucking Buick
Reposted by Jackson
Notable clip today👇 in light of the news that the Trump administration successfully pressured ABC into suspending Moran
Reposting by request the exchange from Trump's ABC interview about Abrego Garcia's tattoos here on Bluesky 👇👇👇
TRUMP: He had MS-13 on his knuckles, tattooed!
MORAN: That was photoshopped
TRUMP: Terry, they're giving you the big break of a lifetime. I picked you. But you're not being very nice.
TRUMP: He had MS-13 on his knuckles, tattooed!
MORAN: That was photoshopped
TRUMP: Terry, they're giving you the big break of a lifetime. I picked you. But you're not being very nice.
June 8, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Notable clip today👇 in light of the news that the Trump administration successfully pressured ABC into suspending Moran
Reposted by Jackson
climate deniers will say it’s fake
September 25, 2023 at 6:46 PM
climate deniers will say it’s fake
Reposted by Jackson
Going lucid dreaming in the nightmare dimension to see if I can trick Mothman into falling in love with me, y'all need anything?
August 7, 2023 at 7:26 AM
Going lucid dreaming in the nightmare dimension to see if I can trick Mothman into falling in love with me, y'all need anything?
Reposted by Jackson
Wearing an analog watch to look fancy and then asking strangers to read the time to me
August 7, 2023 at 3:27 PM
Wearing an analog watch to look fancy and then asking strangers to read the time to me
Reposted by Jackson
[ four dentists coming out of the woods ]
me: hey weren't there five of you
them: (in agreement) no
me: hey weren't there five of you
them: (in agreement) no
August 3, 2023 at 7:04 PM
[ four dentists coming out of the woods ]
me: hey weren't there five of you
them: (in agreement) no
me: hey weren't there five of you
them: (in agreement) no
Reposted by Jackson
(David Attenborough voice) this is how they arrive on earth
July 26, 2023 at 1:24 PM
(David Attenborough voice) this is how they arrive on earth
Reposted by Jackson
Walked into McDonald’s wearing my Grimace costume and the manager shot me with a speargun
August 3, 2023 at 4:43 AM
Walked into McDonald’s wearing my Grimace costume and the manager shot me with a speargun
Reposted by Jackson
Meet Couples Who Stay Together Because They Need Help Holding an Invisible Sandwich
August 2, 2023 at 5:20 AM
Meet Couples Who Stay Together Because They Need Help Holding an Invisible Sandwich
Reposted by Jackson
Reposted by Jackson
[jurassic park]
ALAN GRANT: the t-rex can’t see you if you don’t move
ME: *In The Air Tonight on my headphones gets to the drum solo part* fuck fuck fuck
ALAN GRANT: the t-rex can’t see you if you don’t move
ME: *In The Air Tonight on my headphones gets to the drum solo part* fuck fuck fuck
August 1, 2023 at 9:13 PM
[jurassic park]
ALAN GRANT: the t-rex can’t see you if you don’t move
ME: *In The Air Tonight on my headphones gets to the drum solo part* fuck fuck fuck
ALAN GRANT: the t-rex can’t see you if you don’t move
ME: *In The Air Tonight on my headphones gets to the drum solo part* fuck fuck fuck
Reposted by Jackson
Reposted by Jackson
The Beatles were such visionaries writing songs like "Mr. Wibbly Goes To The Store" and "Love Is Good (When You're In Love)"
as a black person, I do not have to like The Beatles and I don't like The Beatles
August 1, 2023 at 12:47 PM
The Beatles were such visionaries writing songs like "Mr. Wibbly Goes To The Store" and "Love Is Good (When You're In Love)"
Reposted by Jackson
My famously loud pee is ready to headline a little show called the bathroom right now
July 31, 2023 at 3:21 AM
My famously loud pee is ready to headline a little show called the bathroom right now
Reposted by Jackson
There's always at least a 30% chance of finding out that your favorite science fun fact is something first discovered by Dr. Otto Von Racism during an attempt to make children more flammable.
July 29, 2023 at 3:17 PM
There's always at least a 30% chance of finding out that your favorite science fun fact is something first discovered by Dr. Otto Von Racism during an attempt to make children more flammable.
Reposted by Jackson
Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman. I don’t even know what to believe any more
June 22, 2023 at 1:58 AM
Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman. I don’t even know what to believe any more
Reposted by Jackson
didn't get an invite code today so i emailed bluesky and they said it's because i gave my last one to "an italian" ?
June 22, 2023 at 1:57 AM
didn't get an invite code today so i emailed bluesky and they said it's because i gave my last one to "an italian" ?
Reposted by Jackson
I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.
June 22, 2023 at 3:17 AM
I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.
Reposted by Jackson
Nice petard, bro. Sure would be a shame if you got hoisted by it
June 22, 2023 at 4:58 AM
Nice petard, bro. Sure would be a shame if you got hoisted by it
Reposted by Jackson
[1 week after technology lets us wear snapchat filters all the time]
me: why didn’t your eyes turn into hearts when I got home today
me: why didn’t your eyes turn into hearts when I got home today
June 6, 2023 at 12:06 PM
[1 week after technology lets us wear snapchat filters all the time]
me: why didn’t your eyes turn into hearts when I got home today
me: why didn’t your eyes turn into hearts when I got home today
Reposted by Jackson
if you’re cold, they’re cold. put them in your mouth
May 27, 2023 at 2:20 AM
if you’re cold, they’re cold. put them in your mouth
Thank you to @skepanie.bsky.social for throwing me a bone (bones = invites)
June 8, 2023 at 11:36 PM
Thank you to @skepanie.bsky.social for throwing me a bone (bones = invites)