fredesque
@fredtaming.bsky.social
hello. he/him. fan of stuff. lover of things. enjoyer of items.
Pinned
fredesque
@fredtaming.bsky.social
· Jul 13
waiter: is pepsi ok
pepsi: take a look around you, does any of this seem ok
pepsi: take a look around you, does any of this seem ok
now dont go expecting a stupid post from this account tomorrow like "happy birthday to all turkeys" i know they cant read
November 26, 2025 at 11:13 PM
now dont go expecting a stupid post from this account tomorrow like "happy birthday to all turkeys" i know they cant read
grandma: yes theres bread in stuffing, you nitwit
me: grok is this true
me: grok is this true
November 26, 2025 at 10:02 PM
grandma: yes theres bread in stuffing, you nitwit
me: grok is this true
me: grok is this true
[pausing thanksgiving dinner] grok, my aunt needs to know what im thankful for
November 26, 2025 at 7:32 PM
[pausing thanksgiving dinner] grok, my aunt needs to know what im thankful for
Reposted by fredesque
Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
November 26, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
[cramming for my pre-meal quiz tomorrow] um .. pizza?
November 26, 2025 at 6:00 PM
[cramming for my pre-meal quiz tomorrow] um .. pizza?
popeye getting ready for the rap battle:
10 things that sort of rhyme with spinach:
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
November 26, 2025 at 1:55 PM
popeye getting ready for the rap battle:
every BK ive driven by has volcanic levels of smoke pouring out of its roof and an empty parking lot / drive-thru
I swear Burger King is spraying out artificial charbroily smell from every location. everywhere I've been in this country you can smell there's a Burger King nearby before you see the sign
November 25, 2025 at 7:42 PM
every BK ive driven by has volcanic levels of smoke pouring out of its roof and an empty parking lot / drive-thru
Reposted by fredesque
Anytime I’m near a crying baby, I try to toss skittles into its mouth from across the room
November 25, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Anytime I’m near a crying baby, I try to toss skittles into its mouth from across the room
Reposted by fredesque
a corgi is an enchanted loaf of bread
November 25, 2025 at 2:48 AM
a corgi is an enchanted loaf of bread
Reposted by fredesque
[kool-aid man] *walking thru front door* she wants a divorce
April 22, 2024 at 12:14 AM
[kool-aid man] *walking thru front door* she wants a divorce
Reposted by fredesque
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
November 25, 2025 at 12:24 PM
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
[warning my thanksgiving dinner guests im about to go Unhinged Mode] have you guys ever heard the f word, but funnily
November 24, 2025 at 9:02 PM
[warning my thanksgiving dinner guests im about to go Unhinged Mode] have you guys ever heard the f word, but funnily
Reposted by fredesque
Grok, roast my mother in law! lol. Meaner! lol holy SHIT! MEANER!!!!! LMAO MEANER, GROK!!!!! GROK YOU FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT MAKE MY MOTHER IN LAW CRY AND MY WIFE DIVORCE ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT COMPUTER HAHA LOL
November 24, 2025 at 8:50 PM
Grok, roast my mother in law! lol. Meaner! lol holy SHIT! MEANER!!!!! LMAO MEANER, GROK!!!!! GROK YOU FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT MAKE MY MOTHER IN LAW CRY AND MY WIFE DIVORCE ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT COMPUTER HAHA LOL
Reposted by fredesque
[leonard cohen hallelujah voice] cowabunga
December 14, 2023 at 2:52 AM
[leonard cohen hallelujah voice] cowabunga
Reposted by fredesque
I'm always surprised to open a can of evaporated milk and find anything there.
November 23, 2025 at 3:41 PM
I'm always surprised to open a can of evaporated milk and find anything there.
this old thing? oh its my personal support talisman that makes me think things against my will i got from the store that wasnt there when i went back to return it
November 23, 2025 at 1:18 AM
this old thing? oh its my personal support talisman that makes me think things against my will i got from the store that wasnt there when i went back to return it
Reposted by fredesque
me: congrats when’s the baby due
pregnant librarian: oh it's mine i get to keep it
pregnant librarian: oh it's mine i get to keep it
May 26, 2023 at 9:22 PM
me: congrats when’s the baby due
pregnant librarian: oh it's mine i get to keep it
pregnant librarian: oh it's mine i get to keep it
Reposted by fredesque
[first barista] coffee for alan and elle
December 5, 2024 at 4:34 AM
[first barista] coffee for alan and elle
Reposted by fredesque
ive crunched the numbers, and its not looking good. theyre pretty much ruined by all the crunching, i owe you new numbers
October 17, 2025 at 12:51 PM
ive crunched the numbers, and its not looking good. theyre pretty much ruined by all the crunching, i owe you new numbers
maybe this is a stupid question, but how does it " stop " them ?? ?
in a long life filled with saying stupid shit this is may be the stupidest shit he's ever said
November 11, 2025 at 10:23 PM
maybe this is a stupid question, but how does it " stop " them ?? ?
Reposted by fredesque
Eating a sundae with a long spoon is the height of decadence. The longer the spoon the more decadent it is. Ideally you shouldn't even be in the same room as the sundae
November 11, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Eating a sundae with a long spoon is the height of decadence. The longer the spoon the more decadent it is. Ideally you shouldn't even be in the same room as the sundae
Reposted by fredesque
Sick of the rat race man. These rats are fast as shit. Tired of losing.
November 8, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Sick of the rat race man. These rats are fast as shit. Tired of losing.
Reposted by fredesque
[interview with a vampire] where do you see yourself in 105 years
October 29, 2025 at 4:28 PM
[interview with a vampire] where do you see yourself in 105 years
Reposted by fredesque
me: lol more like yesferatu
vampire: so i can come in?
me: no, you loser, get off my porch
vampire: so i can come in?
me: no, you loser, get off my porch
October 26, 2023 at 3:58 PM
me: lol more like yesferatu
vampire: so i can come in?
me: no, you loser, get off my porch
vampire: so i can come in?
me: no, you loser, get off my porch
Reposted by fredesque
if i ever get a pet Zonkey im gonna name him Debra
November 7, 2025 at 3:47 PM
if i ever get a pet Zonkey im gonna name him Debra