EmpressEsquire
@3mpress3squire.bsky.social
Still reads the Liner Notes.
She/her
She/her
#ShowMeYourKnits
Here are some fingerless mitts I made for my partner. They have really cold hands and that just would not do. Pattern is “Point Edward Mitts”
Here are some fingerless mitts I made for my partner. They have really cold hands and that just would not do. Pattern is “Point Edward Mitts”
January 17, 2026 at 4:22 PM
#ShowMeYourKnits
Here are some fingerless mitts I made for my partner. They have really cold hands and that just would not do. Pattern is “Point Edward Mitts”
Here are some fingerless mitts I made for my partner. They have really cold hands and that just would not do. Pattern is “Point Edward Mitts”
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
1. Buy a Van
2. ??
3. Do Gay shit in said Van.
2. ??
3. Do Gay shit in said Van.
January 17, 2026 at 5:43 AM
1. Buy a Van
2. ??
3. Do Gay shit in said Van.
2. ??
3. Do Gay shit in said Van.
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
taking you to pound town but like politely
January 16, 2026 at 1:53 AM
taking you to pound town but like politely
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
I wish the biggest issue anyone had right now was an uncomfortable bra or deciding what to make for dinner because that shit is easy to joke about and doesn't make us all feel like our country is collapsing into a racist pile of bullshit
January 15, 2026 at 9:30 PM
I wish the biggest issue anyone had right now was an uncomfortable bra or deciding what to make for dinner because that shit is easy to joke about and doesn't make us all feel like our country is collapsing into a racist pile of bullshit
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
Other people go have a drink after a loss like this but Aaron Rodgers is going to go out there and get measles
January 13, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Other people go have a drink after a loss like this but Aaron Rodgers is going to go out there and get measles
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
Darling, fetch me my bathing toaster won't you
January 10, 2026 at 12:42 AM
Darling, fetch me my bathing toaster won't you
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
I carefully curated 12 healthy recipes and ate a bag of chips because personal growth is not linear.
January 10, 2026 at 3:47 AM
I carefully curated 12 healthy recipes and ate a bag of chips because personal growth is not linear.
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
Me: When I die, I want be cremated
Husband: Should I write that down now or wait till—
Me: Yeah no, when we're done having sex is fine
Husband: Should I write that down now or wait till—
Me: Yeah no, when we're done having sex is fine
January 9, 2026 at 4:13 AM
Me: When I die, I want be cremated
Husband: Should I write that down now or wait till—
Me: Yeah no, when we're done having sex is fine
Husband: Should I write that down now or wait till—
Me: Yeah no, when we're done having sex is fine
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
Science fiction predicted a lot of things but not how often the robots would fall over.
January 7, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Science fiction predicted a lot of things but not how often the robots would fall over.
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
The “I” stands for “I don’t want to exist, please help me”
May the Illinois State Redbird visit you in FCS championship night.
January 6, 2026 at 3:34 AM
The “I” stands for “I don’t want to exist, please help me”
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
[to the toys-r-us jingle]
i dont wanna throw up
but im nauseated
i dont wanna throw up
but im nauseated
January 4, 2026 at 5:55 PM
[to the toys-r-us jingle]
i dont wanna throw up
but im nauseated
i dont wanna throw up
but im nauseated
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
Please help, I released my inhibitions and they're taking over the local ecosystem and disturbing the biodiversity
January 2, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Please help, I released my inhibitions and they're taking over the local ecosystem and disturbing the biodiversity
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
Ballpoint pens were once a huge advance in technology but here in 2026 we have 14 ways to spell Jackson
January 1, 2026 at 7:54 PM
Ballpoint pens were once a huge advance in technology but here in 2026 we have 14 ways to spell Jackson
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
FAVORITE TRADITIONAL FOLK SONGS:
On Top of Old Smoky
Under Old Smoky
Behind Old Smoky
Reverse Cowgirling Old Smoky
On Top of Old Smoky
Under Old Smoky
Behind Old Smoky
Reverse Cowgirling Old Smoky
January 2, 2026 at 4:53 AM
FAVORITE TRADITIONAL FOLK SONGS:
On Top of Old Smoky
Under Old Smoky
Behind Old Smoky
Reverse Cowgirling Old Smoky
On Top of Old Smoky
Under Old Smoky
Behind Old Smoky
Reverse Cowgirling Old Smoky
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
"Let's Look Back on 2025: Year in Review" wow no thank you, once was plenty
December 31, 2025 at 1:48 PM
"Let's Look Back on 2025: Year in Review" wow no thank you, once was plenty
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
Little Miss Shove Your Sunshine Right Up Your Ass
December 31, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Little Miss Shove Your Sunshine Right Up Your Ass
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig stretch
December 30, 2025 at 12:52 PM
biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig stretch
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
Sure, it started with pudding cups and yogurt, but now I'm licking the lid of everything I open, even if it's not food. Maybe especially if it's not food.
December 30, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Sure, it started with pudding cups and yogurt, but now I'm licking the lid of everything I open, even if it's not food. Maybe especially if it's not food.
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
ran out of room
November 9, 2025 at 5:46 PM
ran out of room
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
is it considered a polycule if the girl you’re dating is haunted?
December 27, 2025 at 1:20 PM
is it considered a polycule if the girl you’re dating is haunted?
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
My dog and two cats love to throw up on the floor and they represent 60% of the household. As a leader I can't just ignore public opinion so I also throw up on the floor sometimes to stay popular
December 27, 2025 at 1:43 PM
My dog and two cats love to throw up on the floor and they represent 60% of the household. As a leader I can't just ignore public opinion so I also throw up on the floor sometimes to stay popular
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
Back in my hometown where the evangelists are aggressive, the drivers are aggressive, and the headlights are aggressive
December 24, 2025 at 6:08 AM
Back in my hometown where the evangelists are aggressive, the drivers are aggressive, and the headlights are aggressive
Reposted by EmpressEsquire
