Zach Heltzel
@zachheltzel.bsky.social
Academy Award winning writer and director of SWIMFAN.
Told my niece which KPop Demon Hunter was my favorite and she responded by saying “That would be your favorite” in a way that was the exact right amount of derogatory.
December 9, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Told my niece which KPop Demon Hunter was my favorite and she responded by saying “That would be your favorite” in a way that was the exact right amount of derogatory.
Starting to work on Solid Purple for 2026 after it broke my brain in 2024.
December 9, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Starting to work on Solid Purple for 2026 after it broke my brain in 2024.
I wish I had a savvy take on the WB acquisition. It’s all just so much.
December 9, 2025 at 7:11 AM
I wish I had a savvy take on the WB acquisition. It’s all just so much.
MARTY SUPREME: It’s Challengers but Timothee Chalamet and the guy from Shark Tank keep trying to out-cuck each other.
December 8, 2025 at 7:04 AM
MARTY SUPREME: It’s Challengers but Timothee Chalamet and the guy from Shark Tank keep trying to out-cuck each other.
Watching Pluribus before seeing Bugonia kinda makes it feel like a hydrogen bomb vs. coughing baby situation.
December 7, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Watching Pluribus before seeing Bugonia kinda makes it feel like a hydrogen bomb vs. coughing baby situation.
Because it is not algorithmically designed to hook you into a platform that can microtarget you with ads
Why do Gen Z have a growing appetite for retro tech?
Why do Gen Z have a growing appetite for retro tech?
Gen Z are going retro, with studies showing a resurgence in people buying tech in the modern age that can be dated back decades.
www.bbc.com
December 7, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Because it is not algorithmically designed to hook you into a platform that can microtarget you with ads
I’m mad at these Heated Rivalry boys. This really doesn’t have to be that difficult.
December 7, 2025 at 4:19 AM
I’m mad at these Heated Rivalry boys. This really doesn’t have to be that difficult.
The one thing I hate about Pluribus is that I could never write anything like this and I feel like an absolute clown.
December 6, 2025 at 6:01 AM
The one thing I hate about Pluribus is that I could never write anything like this and I feel like an absolute clown.
I just took a screenshot of the funniest thing anyone has ever done and I do not trust a single person in my life enough to show it to them.
December 6, 2025 at 5:46 AM
I just took a screenshot of the funniest thing anyone has ever done and I do not trust a single person in my life enough to show it to them.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Ryan Lizza like “lemme tell yall about my girlfriend I stalked for 3 years while we dated. Shes a really unethical WEIRDO!”
I think it’s very cool and funny that Olivia Nuzzi cheated on Ryan Lizza so hard that it completely broke his Brain.
December 6, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Ryan Lizza like “lemme tell yall about my girlfriend I stalked for 3 years while we dated. Shes a really unethical WEIRDO!”
You know who has been veeeerrrryyyyy quiet? Megan Ellison.
December 6, 2025 at 3:01 AM
You know who has been veeeerrrryyyyy quiet? Megan Ellison.
Every time I have reliable access to ADHD medication, my TikTok usage plummets. Might be something going on there idk
December 5, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Every time I have reliable access to ADHD medication, my TikTok usage plummets. Might be something going on there idk
Can someone put me in touch with Bob Iger because Disney should be doing big-budget theatrical remakes of classic Disney Channel movies.
Zenon and Johnny Tsunami with BUDGETS?!?!?
Zenon and Johnny Tsunami with BUDGETS?!?!?
December 5, 2025 at 5:13 AM
Can someone put me in touch with Bob Iger because Disney should be doing big-budget theatrical remakes of classic Disney Channel movies.
Zenon and Johnny Tsunami with BUDGETS?!?!?
Zenon and Johnny Tsunami with BUDGETS?!?!?
Johnny Tsunami taught me it was okay to be weird.
December 5, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Johnny Tsunami taught me it was okay to be weird.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Her Listening Age was 16 you sick fuck
December 4, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Her Listening Age was 16 you sick fuck
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries: “Strong floor, no ceiling”
Colombian President Gustavo Petro: “A clan of pedophiles wants to destroy our democracy.”
Colombian President Gustavo Petro: “A clan of pedophiles wants to destroy our democracy.”
December 3, 2025 at 6:53 AM
Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries: “Strong floor, no ceiling”
Colombian President Gustavo Petro: “A clan of pedophiles wants to destroy our democracy.”
Colombian President Gustavo Petro: “A clan of pedophiles wants to destroy our democracy.”
lol the media is finally starting to brandon him even though it was obvious before the election
“.. A Washington Post analysis of multiple video feeds of the meeting Tuesday showed that during nine separate instances, Trump’s eyes were closed for extended periods or he appeared to struggle to keep them open, amounting cumulatively to nearly six minutes.”
www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
December 3, 2025 at 3:55 AM
lol the media is finally starting to brandon him even though it was obvious before the election
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
yeah AI Ben Garrison is incredible
November 30, 2025 at 5:17 PM
yeah AI Ben Garrison is incredible
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
also all of the c-suites that panicked and decided to shove LLMs everywhere and ruin their UX to make them front and center because they were terrified about not being able to monetize the thing they're spending bajillions on
part of the reason i am genuinely irritated with the gAI/AGI cult is because there is real societal benefits in using ML techniques in medical care + weather analysis, and instead people get annoyed with anything that gets lumped in with the plagiarism machine
November 29, 2025 at 6:01 PM
also all of the c-suites that panicked and decided to shove LLMs everywhere and ruin their UX to make them front and center because they were terrified about not being able to monetize the thing they're spending bajillions on
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
They like Trump and want to help him
“Biden Asylum Cases” is NYT’s framing for a story pegged to a man who got asylum 3 months into the Trump administration
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/27/u...
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/27/u...
November 27, 2025 at 11:32 PM
They like Trump and want to help him
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
I hope my whole family is ready for me to deliver a power point presentation on the Lizza/Nuzzi situation at Thanksgiving.
November 26, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I hope my whole family is ready for me to deliver a power point presentation on the Lizza/Nuzzi situation at Thanksgiving.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Fuck him up, Bonnie!
November 27, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Fuck him up, Bonnie!
Tom Cruise kinda looking like Kara Swisher lately
November 27, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Tom Cruise kinda looking like Kara Swisher lately
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
at some point you’ll finally accept it’s become an unc walk
November 27, 2025 at 8:20 PM
at some point you’ll finally accept it’s become an unc walk
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Was not expecting this blatant xenophobia on my tv first thing in the morning...
November 27, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Was not expecting this blatant xenophobia on my tv first thing in the morning...