Zach Heltzel
@zachheltzel.bsky.social
Academy Award winning writer and director of SWIMFAN.
Trump toward Mamdani for some fucking reason lmao
November 21, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Trump toward Mamdani for some fucking reason lmao
DESTWOY! DESTWOY!
November 20, 2025 at 4:12 AM
DESTWOY! DESTWOY!
I hate gay Halloween what do you mean you’re Olivia Nuzzi on the cover art for her single “Jailbait”
November 19, 2025 at 3:29 AM
I hate gay Halloween what do you mean you’re Olivia Nuzzi on the cover art for her single “Jailbait”
The way he purses his mouth to say “big” and you can watch him choose in real time to say “great” instead…no competition. The best line delivery of all time.
November 15, 2025 at 8:03 PM
The way he purses his mouth to say “big” and you can watch him choose in real time to say “great” instead…no competition. The best line delivery of all time.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway in a Netflix miniseries three years from now
November 15, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway in a Netflix miniseries three years from now
How it started / how it’s going
November 14, 2025 at 5:34 PM
How it started / how it’s going
Found the one and only defensible use for ChatGPT.
November 14, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Found the one and only defensible use for ChatGPT.
I know Trump wiggles out of everything but the economy is actively collapsing and the Epstein files are going to come out, so…
November 12, 2025 at 7:14 PM
I know Trump wiggles out of everything but the economy is actively collapsing and the Epstein files are going to come out, so…
Evelyn Normielib has very quickly become acutely aware of who people like Laura Loomer and Nick Fuentes are. Her fervor is the result of profound shock and disgust.
November 12, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Evelyn Normielib has very quickly become acutely aware of who people like Laura Loomer and Nick Fuentes are. Her fervor is the result of profound shock and disgust.
For sure, but at the same time, he is the guy who said this:
November 12, 2025 at 3:45 AM
For sure, but at the same time, he is the guy who said this:
Be nice to him. It’s his first time living too.
November 4, 2025 at 6:32 AM
Be nice to him. It’s his first time living too.
I hate gay Halloween what do you mean you’re the doctored photo of Ghislaine Maxwell at the Universal City In-N-Out Burger?
November 2, 2025 at 5:06 PM
I hate gay Halloween what do you mean you’re the doctored photo of Ghislaine Maxwell at the Universal City In-N-Out Burger?
So the markets are definitely going to crash soon. What’s the play, Harper Industry?
November 2, 2025 at 2:36 PM
So the markets are definitely going to crash soon. What’s the play, Harper Industry?
I hate gay Halloween. What do you mean you’re Lars from Heavyweights tied to a tree while Kenan Thompson paints honey on your titties?
November 1, 2025 at 4:35 AM
I hate gay Halloween. What do you mean you’re Lars from Heavyweights tied to a tree while Kenan Thompson paints honey on your titties?
Me: I'm not going to show up to the Halloween party and start drama
Also me:
Also me:
October 31, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Me: I'm not going to show up to the Halloween party and start drama
Also me:
Also me:
chest hair reveal
October 31, 2025 at 4:28 PM
chest hair reveal
Can I say something without everyone getting mad
October 27, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Can I say something without everyone getting mad
TikTok. Great app.
October 23, 2025 at 8:44 PM
TikTok. Great app.
This bit from The Rehearsal might have the highest ROI of any shot from a movie or TV show this century.
October 23, 2025 at 6:52 PM
This bit from The Rehearsal might have the highest ROI of any shot from a movie or TV show this century.