utterlybaffled.bsky.social
@utterlybaffled.bsky.social
He/Him
Bored library socialist who should probably stop using this app.
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Me as a child: it must be very hard to become a CEO and be very hard work once you get the job

Guy obviously on drugs speaking at a conference: the next five years of the economy should be about a dream I had where a dog spoke to me
February 16, 2026 at 1:58 PM
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Twitter is a Nazi bar and has been for years.

"Hey I logged into Stormfront and check out what they're saying, look at these screenshots from Stormfront. You would not believe what the zeitgeist is right now, on Stormfront" ass posts
September 10, 2025 at 10:21 PM
This is going to be the root of a century worth of new conspiracy world building.
For those who missed it, Reddit users have figured out that many of the blank PDF files in the Epstein files are actually videos when you change the extension to .mov or .avi.

That's how much they care about protecting victims.
February 16, 2026 at 4:43 AM
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you're a mech pilot and you develop a one sided lustful rivalry with an enemy pilot, shes efficient, brutal, and silent. you dance together in violence across the battlefields until you shoot her down. upon investigating the wreck, you find no pilot, just a mantis shrimp in a bowl full of sensors.
February 15, 2026 at 9:43 PM
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asking an llm if its okay to look directly down the barrel if im really sure its unloaded
February 15, 2026 at 1:56 AM
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When I say I stand on business this what I mean.
February 13, 2026 at 8:55 PM
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They're going to try to put this woman in federal prison for 50 years, and she probably knew that going in.

But jury nullification is still a thing.
KMBC: "A woman tried to set a fire at a South Kansas City warehouse that had been rumored as a possible ICE detention center. Earlier today, the company that owns the property confirmed it is no longer moving forward with a sale to the U.S. government."
February 13, 2026 at 11:00 PM
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I will never be as cool as an antifascist wine mom folk hero
February 13, 2026 at 4:49 PM
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Critical support for suburban wine momrades ✊
February 13, 2026 at 5:00 PM
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Suburban wine moms will really be like "you believe in voting? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, firebombing a concentration camp" and then very effectively firebomb a concentration camp
February 13, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Oh waow
KMBC: "A woman tried to set a fire at a South Kansas City warehouse that had been rumored as a possible ICE detention center. Earlier today, the company that owns the property confirmed it is no longer moving forward with a sale to the U.S. government."
February 13, 2026 at 6:31 PM
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we will keep hearing stories about right wingers abusing and kidnapping and killing pets. it's because a pet is a kind of child that can't speak, and a woman is a kind of child you can fuck, and a child is first and foremost your property. that's what they believe and demonstrate over and over.
February 11, 2026 at 9:14 PM
I can't respond in any way that is legally responsible.
Breaking News: The Trump administration repealed the bedrock scientific finding that greenhouse gases threaten human life and well being, meaning that the EPA can no longer regulate them. nyti.ms/4rSszQu
February 12, 2026 at 9:39 PM
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Today my block leader told me that a volunteer had come and cleaned her kitchen and bathroom. We were breaking Costco-much rice into smaller bags at the time.

I hope that one of the things people learn is that we all have gifts we can give, even if it is not showy. It all can help.
February 12, 2026 at 7:44 PM
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too many kids today have never destroyed the family PC with sketchy downloads

you must learn to fear Computer before you can properly wield Computer
folks today don't know the abject fear of inadvertently downloading, for the first (and only lol) time, a .exe file from kazaa or limewire and it shows

def one of those "it only takes one time to learn" but oooo boy at what cost for that single instance
February 12, 2026 at 2:08 AM
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no Elon, all experts agree the ideal close quarters weapon is a Sig P320, carried in a special holster configuration only used by special forces guys called "reverse appendix carry". If the barrel is pointed into your guts when holstered you're doing it right.

Always keep the chamber loaded.
February 12, 2026 at 2:00 AM
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Every fucking company is like "hey guys you know that thing we make? That we are famous for? Well we're not doing it anymore. Here's a chatbot that'll tell you to drink bleach instead. You're welcome"
February 11, 2026 at 7:32 PM
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February 11, 2026 at 3:27 AM
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yea I work for the contractors that make all them big underground bases and labs and shit underneath toy factories and pizza joints and shit, good job, got a good union, pays well, weird work buildin out whole caverns under like, kindergartens and whatever but banban pays the big bucks, so whatever!
February 11, 2026 at 9:56 PM
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watching hundreds of democrats on here SUDDENLY shocked by the thermobaric bombs dropped in Gaza, things that Palestinians have told us were happening for 2 YEARS,

and immediately use that shock to blame people for “not voting for Harris“ because this “wouldn’t have happened under her”
February 11, 2026 at 11:04 AM
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The wild thing about TTRPGs is that for the most part you can go "Yeah, I'm gonna review every game one person made and then go ask them some questions about their games." That's just like. A thing you can do. This hobby is so young compared to others, & people are more accessible than you think.
February 10, 2026 at 11:27 PM
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it's probably a good sign for our democracy that every member of congress who has been in the secret epstein document room walks out saying stuff like "every powerful person in the country knew, they're all rapists and pedophiles, they should be tossed into a pit and crushed under boulders"
February 10, 2026 at 10:41 AM
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Kinda Fucked Up that in our lifetimes we've gone from "never share personal info on the internet" to "hand over your identity to the most incompetent corporations imaginable".
February 9, 2026 at 6:25 PM
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“We left with all my children”
????
VAN HOLLEN: Did you in fact make the visit to Epstein's private island?

LUTNICK: I did have lunch w/ him as I was on a boat going across on a family vacation. My wife was with me as were my 4 children and nannies. We had lunch on the island. That's true. For an hour. We left with all of my children
February 10, 2026 at 3:55 PM
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Gay was the easiest thing to explain to my son. I was literally just “sometimes two men or two women fall in love.” “Ok, cool. What’s a war?”
always so funny to me when people are like “how am I supposed to explain Gay to my kids?” my kid asks me way harder shit all the time. “why did they build the road this way? why are some people bad?” I don’t know. please ask me about Gay
February 10, 2026 at 3:32 PM