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Pizza Las Vegas

@muyrando.bsky.social

2.8K followers 600 following 2.1K posts

This is a joke account. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iuhhxvswn7mk2zvgokarrofi/lists/3lbdsmcyrhl2h

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · Jan 5

*discovery of potatoes*
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.

Reposted by Pizza Las Vegas

Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 11h

White people be like let me turn on Steely Dan

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 11h

Those were the days.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 12h

It's Sunday night, that means we fearfully, yet longingly stare into the void.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 12h

It's never too late to learn new information, but it is definitely too late to do anything useful with it.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 18h

Friend: Would you ever want to go bird watching?
Me: Why, what are they up to?

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

There's nothing like a 20 minute power outage to remind yourself you are absolutely not ready for the zombie apocalypse

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

*surprises myself*

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

Thank you kindly

Reposted by Pizza Las Vegas

Shitposts In Tiaras @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social · 2d

Sarcasm, the peacemaker's tone 🏆👑 Congratulations @muyrando.bsky.social from @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · May 28

Very brave of you to be an asshole, no one else is doing that.

Reposted by Pizza Las Vegas

Carole Boo @caroleu.bsky.social · 2d

A really good lunch will knock you out and leave you in a crumpled heap in the shade, smiling wistfully while you nap.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

Boss: That impossible project I gave you needs to get done today.
Me: Okay.
Boss: Also, I'm going to make you stand here while I talk to you for 30 minutes about some bullshit.
Me: Fantastic.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

I think I'm ready for a crazy ex, I've had this same phone number for way too long.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

a man with long hair and a beard is smiling and looking at the camera

ALT: a man with long hair and a beard is smiling and looking at the camera

media.tenor.com

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

Much appreciated.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

Thank you kindly

Reposted by Pizza Las Vegas

madsisnowhere.bsky.social @madsisnowhere.bsky.social · 6d

Easy top 5. Where’s my cuppeth runneth over? Funniest fucking thing I’ve read on here, still.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · May 28

Very brave of you to be an asshole, no one else is doing that.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

post a laughing emoji in the comments, it sincerely makes my day. I just want to thank each and every one of you for following me and making my life a little brighter, you guys are the best. And a special shout-out to @madsisnowhere.bsky.social, thank you kindly. 💚

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

So, I've been posting dumb jokes since MySpace and have never cultivated much of a following, but that's not why I do this. I genuinely just like the idea of amusing strangers and making their days a little better, so when one of you goes out of their way to thank me or tell me I'm funny or even

madsisnowhere.bsky.social @madsisnowhere.bsky.social · 6d

Easy top 5. Where’s my cuppeth runneth over? Funniest fucking thing I’ve read on here, still.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · May 28

Very brave of you to be an asshole, no one else is doing that.

Reposted by Pizza Las Vegas

Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 3d

I can’t explain it but Jewel sings in cursive

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 2d

Sorry about all the semen.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 8d

a man with a mustache says " touche " in white letters

ALT: a man with a mustache says " touche " in white letters

media.tenor.com

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 8d

Why do some people always run late and why do you already know I'm talking about a woman?

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 10d

*moves around*

Reposted by Pizza Las Vegas

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 10d

You should have a little snack

Reposted by Pizza Las Vegas

ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 10d

If I was sweatpants, I wonder what word would be written across my butt 🤔