Matthew 🍔
@matthewburger.bsky.social
Studies the atmospheres of objects without atmospheres.
Counterpoint: A Muppet Christmas Carol is a Muppets movie.
Anything is a Christmas movie if you believe hard enough. Fifth Element? An innocent is born outside of human union who will save humanity. A Quiet Place? You better watch out, you better not cry etc.
November 29, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Counterpoint: A Muppet Christmas Carol is a Muppets movie.
My 1st 1st-author paper since I left full time science 10 years:
"Seasonal Effects of the Changing Photon Scattering Rates on Mercury’s Exospheric Structure." If you do exoplanets, it's "Exospheric escape from an airless body around a solar-type." #planetaryscience
tinyurl.com/3m7c9mzz
"Seasonal Effects of the Changing Photon Scattering Rates on Mercury’s Exospheric Structure." If you do exoplanets, it's "Exospheric escape from an airless body around a solar-type." #planetaryscience
tinyurl.com/3m7c9mzz
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November 14, 2025 at 5:39 PM
My 1st 1st-author paper since I left full time science 10 years:
"Seasonal Effects of the Changing Photon Scattering Rates on Mercury’s Exospheric Structure." If you do exoplanets, it's "Exospheric escape from an airless body around a solar-type." #planetaryscience
tinyurl.com/3m7c9mzz
"Seasonal Effects of the Changing Photon Scattering Rates on Mercury’s Exospheric Structure." If you do exoplanets, it's "Exospheric escape from an airless body around a solar-type." #planetaryscience
tinyurl.com/3m7c9mzz
Who robbed the Louvre...and where did they hide it? Right answers only.
October 19, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Who robbed the Louvre...and where did they hide it? Right answers only.
@andrewhickey.500songs.com Already looking forward to you Patreon bonus episode on Time Warp from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
September 30, 2025 at 11:52 PM
@andrewhickey.500songs.com Already looking forward to you Patreon bonus episode on Time Warp from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Make a band singular
Tom Wait
Tom Wait
ITC
Make a band singular:
One Non Blonde
One Non Blonde
September 13, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Make a band singular
Tom Wait
Tom Wait
My animation of Mercury's escaping sodium exosphere over the course of a Mercury year. The only thing that changes is the magnitude of radiation pressure which is a function of where Mercury is in its orbit. Without radiation pressure, nothing would escape.
#EPSCDPS #EPSC2025 #planetsci #mercury
#EPSCDPS #EPSC2025 #planetsci #mercury
September 12, 2025 at 7:41 AM
My animation of Mercury's escaping sodium exosphere over the course of a Mercury year. The only thing that changes is the magnitude of radiation pressure which is a function of where Mercury is in its orbit. Without radiation pressure, nothing would escape.
#EPSCDPS #EPSC2025 #planetsci #mercury
#EPSCDPS #EPSC2025 #planetsci #mercury
Ruin any book by adding "Tom Clancy's" to the title
Tom Clancy’s Infinite Jest
Tom Clancy’s Infinite Jest
Ruin any book by adding "Tom Clancy's" to the title
Tom Clancy's "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat"
with apologies to @laurajsnyder.bsky.social
Tom Clancy's "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat"
with apologies to @laurajsnyder.bsky.social
Ruin any book by adding "Tom Clancy's" to the title
Tom Clancy's Are You There God? It's me, Margaret
Tom Clancy's Are You There God? It's me, Margaret
August 28, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Ruin any book by adding "Tom Clancy's" to the title
Tom Clancy’s Infinite Jest
Tom Clancy’s Infinite Jest
slightly diminish a band:
The Outdated Jazz Quartet.
The Outdated Jazz Quartet.
slightly diminish a band:
Mild Anxiety! At The Disco
Mild Anxiety! At The Disco
slightly diminish a band:
REO Stationwagon
REO Stationwagon
August 13, 2025 at 1:58 PM
slightly diminish a band:
The Outdated Jazz Quartet.
The Outdated Jazz Quartet.
Someone in downtown Baltimore squeegeed my windshield without asking me first, so you can't convince me that crime isn't up.
Took my family to DC and I was forced to see a lot of Brutalist architecture so you can’t convince me that crime isn’t up.
Took my family to DC and they were calling posts on here "skeets" so you can’t convince me that crime isn’t up
August 12, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Someone in downtown Baltimore squeegeed my windshield without asking me first, so you can't convince me that crime isn't up.
Challenge: Post your last photo taken in DC to show what a hellhole it is.
A place close to my heart.
A place close to my heart.
August 11, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Challenge: Post your last photo taken in DC to show what a hellhole it is.
A place close to my heart.
A place close to my heart.
I’m pretty sure my car has a speed limit sign sensor. It doesn’t pop up the speed limit until I pass a speed limit sign. Not that my car isn’t tracking me, just that this isn’t evidence.
many incredibly dumb replies/quoteskeets from car perverts but i think my favourite genre is 'this would require a surveillance state'. any car made in the last decade or so already knows what the speed limit is! most of the time it shows you on the dashboard! imbeciles
My least popular (and most correct) view is that cars should be automatically limited to the local speed limit. Put the pedal to the floor and you still can't go over 25mph in a residential area.
(15 in Manhattan btw)
(15 in Manhattan btw)
August 10, 2025 at 9:33 PM
I’m pretty sure my car has a speed limit sign sensor. It doesn’t pop up the speed limit until I pass a speed limit sign. Not that my car isn’t tracking me, just that this isn’t evidence.
I’m going to put this here even no one will see it: We’re very close to conservatives arguing that they aren’t racist they let Jackie Robinson into the major leagues because he was the first black person to prove he was good enough.
August 9, 2025 at 11:35 PM
I’m going to put this here even no one will see it: We’re very close to conservatives arguing that they aren’t racist they let Jackie Robinson into the major leagues because he was the first black person to prove he was good enough.
I bought the McCoy Tyner record for $1. Two discs, each with a different trio. One is Tyner, Ron Carter (who I saw last month), and Tony Williams. It looks like Tony Williams autographed it.
August 5, 2025 at 12:29 AM
I bought the McCoy Tyner record for $1. Two discs, each with a different trio. One is Tyner, Ron Carter (who I saw last month), and Tony Williams. It looks like Tony Williams autographed it.
@alansiegella.bsky.social I’m reading “Stupid TV, Be More Funny.” Just got to the part about the marketing deal with Butterfingers. Summer or 1990 I was working at a movie theater, and I had to wear a Bart Simpson “Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger” button. Really wish I still had that.
July 27, 2025 at 9:11 PM
@alansiegella.bsky.social I’m reading “Stupid TV, Be More Funny.” Just got to the part about the marketing deal with Butterfingers. Summer or 1990 I was working at a movie theater, and I had to wear a Bart Simpson “Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger” button. Really wish I still had that.
The feeling when you have to convince your 13 year old to watch Romancing the Stone.
June 20, 2025 at 12:14 AM
The feeling when you have to convince your 13 year old to watch Romancing the Stone.
What is common knowledge in your field, but enrages outsiders?
Pluto is a dwarf planet.
Pluto is a dwarf planet.
What is common knowledge in your field, but shocks outsiders?
Abraham Lincoln was a Republican.
Abraham Lincoln was a Republican.
What is common knowledge in your field, but shocks outsiders?
Most tech companies are not affirmatively evil, and are filled with thoughtful folks trying to solve problems while building tools people actually enjoy using
Most tech companies are not affirmatively evil, and are filled with thoughtful folks trying to solve problems while building tools people actually enjoy using
June 17, 2025 at 6:19 PM
What is common knowledge in your field, but enrages outsiders?
Pluto is a dwarf planet.
Pluto is a dwarf planet.
ADD a letter and ruin a movie
Dr. Strangelover
Dr. Strangelover
Snow, Voyager
ADD a letter and ruin a movie
True Grits
True Grits
May 28, 2025 at 2:14 AM
ADD a letter and ruin a movie
Dr. Strangelover
Dr. Strangelover
@chuckwendig.bsky.social Do you know if there are distribution problems with your book? I preordered it from my local independent bookstore, but didn't get it. I called them last week and they reordered it, but it still hasn't come in.
May 14, 2025 at 8:13 PM
@chuckwendig.bsky.social Do you know if there are distribution problems with your book? I preordered it from my local independent bookstore, but didn't get it. I called them last week and they reordered it, but it still hasn't come in.
Your Pope name is: Last thing you ate + number of letters in your first name.
Pope Peanut VII
Pope Peanut VII
Your Pope name is: Last thing you ate + number of letters in your first name.
Pope Tofu V
Hell yeah
Pope Tofu V
Hell yeah
Your Pope name is: Last thing you ate + number of letters in your first name.
Pope Mochi VI!
Pope Mochi VI!
May 12, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Your Pope name is: Last thing you ate + number of letters in your first name.
Pope Peanut VII
Pope Peanut VII
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
Catch 44
Catch 44
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
Two flew over the cuckoo's nest
Two flew over the cuckoo's nest
Implement a 100% tariff and run a movie
The 12th Sense
The 12th Sense
May 5, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
Catch 44
Catch 44
(M without the M)
Remove a letter, ruin a movie
Deadpoo
Deadpoo
Remove a letter, ruin a movie.
Seeping Beauty
Seeping Beauty
May 2, 2025 at 11:44 PM
(M without the M)
@pronounced-ing.bsky.social. I just started reading “Our Missing Hearts.” Is it ok if I sing the title to the tune of “You’re Cheatin’ Heart”, because I’m having trouble not doing that.
May 1, 2025 at 10:23 PM
@pronounced-ing.bsky.social. I just started reading “Our Missing Hearts.” Is it ok if I sing the title to the tune of “You’re Cheatin’ Heart”, because I’m having trouble not doing that.
8:41 AM and I’ve already made dinner. Guess I can take the rest of the day off.
April 20, 2025 at 12:41 PM
8:41 AM and I’ve already made dinner. Guess I can take the rest of the day off.
Post a fictional character who you think would be an antivaxxer.
March 20, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Post a fictional character who you think would be an antivaxxer.
@lowqualityfacts.bsky.social Is this true?
GOP Rep. Anna Paulina Luna posted and then deleted a false claim that yellow dye turns male frogs into females.
Luna also called the yellow dye, “tetrazine,” which isn’t a yellow dye. Luna likely meant to launch her false claim at yellow dye tartrazine.
Luna also called the yellow dye, “tetrazine,” which isn’t a yellow dye. Luna likely meant to launch her false claim at yellow dye tartrazine.
March 14, 2025 at 4:19 PM
@lowqualityfacts.bsky.social Is this true?